Valentine's Day Should Be For Men Too

I've started to notice lots of complaints from guys about Valentine's day being one sided, or an excuse for women to expect special treatment. And it may be true that women get spoiled more often on the holiday. This might be because women frequently make it known that they enjoy Valentine's day and want some pampering to celebrate, while men are less likely to show enthusiasm or admit that they're into it. So many women probably assume that their significant other doesn't really want anything, or won't even appreciate their efforts should they choose to spoil their partner.

Valentine's Day Should Be For Men Too

But men have the same right to expect gifts, cards, or special treatment on Valentine's day as women do. There is no rule anywhere that says that Valentine's day is for women. Love and relationships are two way streets, so a holiday that celebrates them should be too. Let's start a revolution to make Valentine's day fair and enjoyable for both partners.

So men: If your partner doesn't give you the Valentine's day treatment that you desire, tell her what you want! Let her know that Valentine's day goes both ways, and you expect to receive as well as give. Don't act like you don't care about the holiday if you really do. If you feel awkward about making demands, frame the topic this way: "Are we celebrating Valentine's day this year? Just checking about whether we're doing gifts or not." It's a casual way to make the point that you expect special treatment to go both ways. Or if you're comfortable, be more direct- especially if your relationship has a precedent for one-way treatment.

And women: Let's give our partners the special treatment they deserve. You don't need a vagina to enjoy being pampered! Valentine's day should be fun for both partners (if you choose to celebrate), so gifts and attention should go both ways. If you know your partner is planning a surprise for you, return the favor. And if you're not sure what's up his sleeve, ask him if he wants to celebrate, and talk about each of your expectations. That way, nobody will end up disappointed.

Valentine's day isn't just about gifts. But if you receive, you should also give. Happy Valentine's Day!


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What Guys Said 22

  • Fully agreed! Bravo!!!
    68.media.tumblr.com/.../...a90hPAw61smhs7r_500.gif

    Now we also need to make marriage a day for men too.

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    • Agreed. Weddings and marriage are also for both partners.

    • Valentine Day is about marriage. It a time of husband and wife relationship. I am aware how the female in their 20's think they know it all and what to control others in what they say. Your opinions are your opinions. Valentine is in the Bible. The Bible talks about love, relationship.

  • Not to go all "high road" lol, just trying to add some thought to the conversation...

    But I like Tony Robbins take on new years resolutions "if you only have drive to change one day of the year, you are lazy and lost and not thinking enough"

    Same with valentines day, if you only show your partner you love and care for them, on a designated day, you should start thinking about the way you treat people you care about more often.

    To steal his idea for a different situation.

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    • Of course Valentine's day shouldn't be the only day when you show love for your partner. That was absolutely not my point, nor does it have all that much to do with this myTake.

  • I fully expect to be pampered by my SO and for her to do far more than I've done for her that day, for one simple reason
    ITS MY FREAKING BIRTHDAY

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    • That's a damn good reason. Have you ever considered celebrating Valentine's day on a different date with your partner? That way you'd get to celebrate both occasions fully.

  • I agree. Love is for everyone ☮️❤️❤️❤️

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  • I honestly like Valentine's to be one sided, though I wouldn't mind a small gesture from her, like making me breakfast, or just a simple card expressing her feelings towards me. I like making the whole day about her, it's something I actually enjoy, but that's me personally, obviously some guys do want Valentine's day to be about them too, and like you said, they need to let their girls know.

    Though in all honesty, I'm not a huge fan of Valentine's, I think it's unnecessary, since you should show affection and appreciate your partner every day, and do small things for them whenever you can. But since the day is gonna happen whether I want it or not, I'd rather make the whole day about her.

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    • If you feel that way, that's totally fine. But guys deserve special treatment too, if they want it.

    • Yeah, I totally agree with that, and I agree with your Take. If they want better treatment during that day, then say it. I was just saying my opinion and how I personally feel about Valentine's day.

  • I disagree.

    I'd rather women keep their Valentine's Day one sided.

    Instead, I would rather see 'Steak and Blowjob day' be elevated to real holiday status and that day be the one where the attention is on him.

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  • Within a relationship your 100% right.

    Sadly the whole "be my valentine" thing still means men take women out on a date on a day the prices are 3X as much.

    There is nothing wrong with having a special day to put aside but I don't need a calendar to tell me when it is. I would suggest it being the day you met or something along those lines.

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  • i fullheartedly agree with this mytake.

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  • You can keep it. But we want Blowjob and Steak Day. No less than a dozen of any combination of both. Hint: I want a 20 oz steak, and that'll hold me for the day.

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    • The idea that love is important to women and steak is important to men is yet another version of inequality that I personally want no part in. But hey, suit yourself (and your relationship).

    • I mean, I'm all about the steak. And blowjobs. And I'm in no way against having a day for that stuff. But by its very definition, Valentine's day SHOULD be about both partners. I think the concept that expressions of love are only for the benefit of women is incredibly negative and damaging. But of course, how you choose to celebrate the holiday is entirely up to you.

  • This is because women are the sex objects, the valued ones in courtship! Men almost always have to do things fr women to keep them, while women pretty much just have to be half decent looking. Sadly this is just basic biology, the biggest advantage women have is the disparity in sexual attraction.

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  • That's a great point.

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  • All Valentines Day means to me , is I'm another year older in 2 days time !! Never acknowledged the day , even in relationships , my then partners & ex wife also agreed with me , that it's a commercial cliche day !!

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  • And here I thought it was about celebrating "love" and Saint that defied the Church to marry people... It's just another glorified commercial holiday brought to you by HALLMARK and RUSSELL STOVERS...

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    • Well, it has started to turn into that. But you can celebrate it however you want. I love celebrating Valentine's day and I do enjoy exchanging small gifts and making cute cards and all that, but I always remember the history of the holiday and I don't go buying tons of stuff (especially stuff that is marketed specifically for Valentine's day, since I'm a little grossed out by the consumerism aspect myself).

    • Yeah. it was cute as grade schooler but now there's to many expectations... suppose your girl expects you to pop the question and you don't... Oy-vey!!!

    • Yikes well that's a whole problem unto itself.

  • But Valentine's Day is fun. You get to look at all the single girls that aren't getting shit.

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    • You are speaking the truth. For the truth will set you free. Valentine Day is for everyone. It really a family thing. Parents and children. Valentine Day has nothing to do with vaginal
      or penis. It a time to said thank you for being in my life. Valentine is not an erotic or sex event.

  • A little poem as an answer, with art in my profile pic.

    Guy:

    Balloons
    Flowers
    Candy
    Jewelry
    I’ve given all of this to you for Valentine’s Day.
    Now what are you going to give me?

    Girl:
    Put your hand on my tummy
    I’m going to give you a baby,
    Silly!

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    • Hmm, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to take from this, honestly.

      Are you saying that your partner is having a baby and you're happy about it? That you're not happy about it? Are you saying that it's a problem that men give more on Valentine's day? Because that's exactly the problem I'm trying to address here.

  • It's a dumb holiday, created by companies to sell the product. "love" should be celebrated everyday. Things shouldn't make you love each other more. But pampering each other is a great idea.

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    • That's not what started it. However, it certainly has turned into that. But it doesn't have to be focused on consumerism if you choose to celebrate it differently.

  • In Japan, they have something like that before Valentine's day.

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  • Do you know who had the first Valentine Day?

    Hint: It was no females involved.

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    • And who had the first Valentine's day, pray tell?

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    • Valentine is a Christian event.

    • St. Valentine is a Catholic saint, yes. In that sense it is a Christian event. But the holiday traditions were started by a combination of historical events that were loosely related to religion, and the ancient roman holiday Lupercalia. You can have your own opinions about what Valentine's day means to you personally or how you want to celebrate it, but I am not wrong about the actual history of Valentine's day. Do a little research if you are still confused. Have a nice day!

  • How about just get rid of Valentines Day?

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    • I'm sure you're not the only person who would be on board with that. But personally, I love to celebrate Valentine's day, whether with my family, friends, or partner. I don't see the harm in a holiday that celebrates love.

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    • I actually don't expect that much from him. I expect him to be there and participate and spend quality time with me. We usually make plans together and discuss what both of us would enjoy. Gift giving is always mutual. We typically make a meal that is one of HIS favorites. If he has a problem with that, he has certainly never shown any sign of it- and we have a very honest, trusting relationship where we communicate about everything fully.

      I think guys who feel so pressured by Valentine's day need to talk to their girlfriends and have a discussion about expectations and how to make the holiday fun for BOTH of you. I. e. what I said in the above myTake.

    • And if Valentine's day really is just a favor for the girl, and you're not interested in changing that, then either do it because it means a lot to her and will make her happy (if she does care about it), or suggest a trade- you'll celebrate Valentine's day with her if she celebrates a sporting event or some other thing that she might not be super into just to make you happy. Honestly, people who aren't willing to do something as simple as buying a rose and a few chocolates if it will mean a lot to their SO are the biggest sticks in the mud I have ever heard of.

  • Great message. Thank you.

    But you seem to be trying to place some of the onus for change here on men, which is wrong. ALL of the responsibility here is on women to recognize their historical entitlement and one-sided view of the issue. It is not on men to TELL you we want to be appreciated and valued just like you do. This is an issue of WOMEN's mentality, and it is YOUR responsibility to change that, not yours.

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    • not *ours

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    • I already do. Just ask my boyfriend about the $400 watch he got out of the deal last year. (I'm the one trying to make progress here- I may be the wrong person to yell at.) But if you think you have a leg to stand on when you get all high and mighty and claim that you "shouldn't have to ask" for chocolates on Valentine's day after women had to ask for the freaking right to vote, you need to get a little perspective.

    • Bottom line: You're right, you SHOULDN'T have to ask for equality on Valentine's day. In an ideal world, none of us would have to ask for the things we need or deserve. But we don't live in an ideal world. We live in a world where each person has their own perspective and motivations for their behavior, and where inequality and unfairness are complex and deeply rooted issues. That's why we have social revolutions. That's why activists are born. And that's why communication is important in relationships. You're right that in an ideal world, you wouldn't have to ask. But every single one of us has to. And for you to think that you should be the exception to that rule makes you far more self centered than I have ever shown myself to be.

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What Girls Said 19

  • I wasn't aware women didn't do anything for their men.

    I'm giving mine an hour long back massage and putting together a goodie basket for him. He's taking me to dinner with our friends. Can't wait :)

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    • I wasn't either, until I started to hear about it from guys on this site. So I thought I'd try to inspire change. Of course there are women out there like you (and me) who already do things for their partners!

  • The problem is society has deemed this a "woman's day". All the commercials here in the states are geared towards women with flowers, jewelry, anything ever you can imagine. And to be honest with you, I'm really sick and tired of it because it gives a lot of women a sense of entitlement. And gives love a totally different false meaning. This Valentine's Day, and keep in mind I've been with my husband for 13 years and we have never "celebrated" Valentine's Day, but this year we decided we will just do it we always do after the kids go to sleep try to catch up on some shows and go to bed because it's just another day. People need to remember love is free.

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  • Yea guys :) Vday is for you too! My boyfriend and I spend the weekend together and alternate days cooking special meals for each other and of course pampering each other-if you want that, tell her so, a good girlfriend will be happy to reciprocate

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  • Valentine's day has always been for both Men & women. It's for appreciating each other, not an extra birthday for women.

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  • It should be a 2 way street, and if it isn't, you're doing something wrong.

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  • I agree! I'm a huge fan of pampering the guy I'm with, but I never know what to buy since guys don't typically like flowers and chocolate that much. My usual go-to is either baking him something, or wearing lingerie (or both).

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  • Not true. There are plenty of women who are not enthusiastic about Valentines day. And what about gay couples? Are you saying that they do they not expect anything?

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    • Of course there are women out there who don't care about Valentine's day- and men who do, gay or not. But I'm addressing a specific issue that I've noticed. I am not saying it applies to every single individual.

  • Honestly I completely agree but the thing is , I don't think women were to arrange anything on that day since they might assume the guy already has plans and they wouldn't want to have to cancel out on stuff... I don't know something like that

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    • It's possible, but that's why couples should talk about it. Plus, women don't necessarily have to make dinner reservations or anything like that, if they know their partner has that covered. They can find another way to do their part.

  • I've always known that.

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  • The biggest problem with this is guys pretty much don't want anything but sex. They can't care less about flowers, teddy bears, or chocolate.

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  • Nahhh women deserve special treatment as compensation for the fact that they biologically suffer more than men

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  • what kinds of gifts do guys like? obviously girls like flowers, jewelry, some like teddy bears but I don't know what guys like

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    • I usually give my boyfriend chocolate, a handmade card, and another gift like a watch, book, game, etc. Maybe clothing.

  • And single people too.

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  • in japan valentines day is for guys and white day is for girls, guys get chocolates on valentines day and then give back on white day

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  • I'm from southern Europe and our Valentine's Day is for the couples. I don't think it's one sided at all in my country as many women do all the preparations just as much and both genders confess their love. So maybe it's an American thing and not universal.

    Either way, I'm not sure what's your role here in taking sides and using sentences like "you don't need a vagina to enjoy being pampered".
    Surely can convey a message without being crass.

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    • "Vagina" is not a dirty word. But I apologize if you were offended.

    • More than the word is the way you put it.
      Anyway, just an opinion.

    • I won't be shamed for using accurate anatomical terms. Again, I apologize if you were offended. But people use language in many different ways to make their points and create style in their writing. I intended the statement to be fun, not offensive.

  • Just get rid of it. It's just a shitty excuse to get people to spend more money anyway. Couples should celebrate days that are importent to them not when businesses tell them to so they can hike prices for one night

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  • I think this is special to the US, and American women. In my country, it is both sides, treating each other with gifts. And i have a lot of girlfriends who ponder on what to get for their boyfriends/husbands even a month before.

    Two of my guy friends got married with American ladies, and one divorced, other one is on the verge of divorce. As far as I have heard from them, American women are selfish, always complains, and expects men to do everything without giving back. They also say that these women expect thins, and when they do something like a treat, they talk about it for a long time like "but i did this for you" while they never mention the effort/things guys do. Ofcourse it try not ti generalize without getting to know all American ladies but key point is that the culture may be the leading factor in this situation.

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  • Women should give in to the guy at night after he pampers them throughout the day, so perfect

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    • When like 8pm after she has been pampered with at least breakfast, dinner and whatever he has planned during the day. How is she going to pamper him.

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    • @Jager66 I figured someone would say something sexual. It is so typical

    • @MysteriousDarkness yeah because that was the innuendo of her post genius... no one likes a virtue signaler, so why not contribute instead of just being a horses ass, even if it's just to tell me to fuck off.

  • i dont think any man with half a brain cares to have a Valentine's day special care. as any woman with half a brain knows that a women's day is insulting cause it implies the rest aren't women's day... .

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