10. Large reduction in eye contact when asking about suspicious situations
Why is it that the little kid in us remains at every age? When my roommate’s 2 year old daughter lies it is pretty obvious. Although it might be hard for you to recognize since you may not want to see it! but it is still there. The child in us knows that our honesty can be read through the eyes and it seeks to avoid capture. This indicator is more obvious with a very honest guy since they are not practiced at deception. The most fascinating thing to me is that even the MOST honest guy/girl will still be driven to cheat and lie about it.
9. He started password protecting his phone and or computer
He might as well put a sign on his forehead saying “I HAVE SOMETHING TO HIDE!” Now if he works for the FBI I might understand but… please. The only time I have been tempted to do this was when I caught my significant other snooping through my computer. I came home from work and my email was jacked up. “What happened to my computer??” I said looking at Sayuri. She started trembling and burst into tears saying that she thought she saw an email from an ex of mine. I laughed and told her it was okay but if she ever did it again I would tickle her until she puked.
8. Affections change radically to very strong or very weak
Affections turn strong for two reasons. He is in sexually charged state because he is involved with a woman he is very attracted to OR he feels an acute sense of guilt and loss, which leads to him being more emotionally affectionate.
His affections die for two reasons as well. The girl has completely eclipsed you because he is so obsessed and “in lust” AND/OR he is using her to move on from you because he was not satisfied with the relationship he has with you.
7. Turns off his phone when he is with you
This is a guilt avoidance tactic. He knows deep down that if she calls he is going to betray himself to you. Not only that but women seem to have a sixth sense when he is around another girl and they choose that time to call and text their brains out! Only a bit more experienced cheater will know to do this. Many guys will, like idiots, respond to the texts and the ringing phone. Good for you, busts him.
6. The obvious, foundation on his shirt, lipstick, hair clip, etc
This one is so funny because it is so avoidable. A lot of guys don’t know this but girls love to leave “land mines” for other girls to find. Once I broke up with a partner for a while and then got back together. In the mean time I met some other people, well, a lot of other people… When we got back together I had to comb my house for these mines. I found, 2 hair clips, one lip stick, tampons in the trash, two earrings both different AND a tooth brush!! I was very impressed. About a week after we started up again I gave her back a pair of T-back panties she left. They turned out not to be hers
5. Change in appearance, starts caring about his body
I think the heaviest and most out of shape I have ever been was when I was in a serious relationship and it was not just me. Both of us beef-caked up a good 20bls! I remember when we decided to go on a diet together and for some silly reason we took nude Polaroids of each other (yes I am that old) and with permanent marker circled the bad areas. This was ultra embarrassing when someone found them at our house party and they circulated, she never forgave me.
I am sure it has happened to you when you have met an amazing guy. You took one look at your body and thought, “he is not going to like this horrible lumpy thing, I need the gym!” Being in lust is a wonderful motivator for weight loss.
4. He is jealous of you
This one is the creepiest of the bunch, I discovered it by of course doing it. I once was absolutely convinced my girl was cheating! We got into a huge argument about her faithfulness until it forced my dishonesty out, oops…
Here is how the rational goes. If I am cheating, she must be too because I cannot stand to be the only asshole in this relationship. Not only that but people love to project on to others. Angry? “People are such shits!!” Cheater? “EVERYONE ALWAYS CHEATS! Why even date…” So if he starts drilling you about who you were with out of the blue, it might pay to take a second look at his actions.
3. Repeats the same story or assumes he already told you
I have a rule. Never date more than 3 people at the same time. I know you are thinking this is a very conservative rule! Why not 4 or 5?? Well what I found was that the brain starts making some pretty colossal mistakes past the number three. “Jenny? I didn’t call you Jenny, did I?! “We saw that movie on Friday right…?” “Oops, I guess those are not your earrings…”
Now if he is cheating I imagine it is only one girl but it is still pretty hard to keep things strait. So when he says to you, “didn’t I already tell you that?” be suspicious! The person that he did tell must be awfully similar for his brain to categorize the two of you in the same place. As for telling the same story? Maybe he is just an airhead like me but his brain might have once again gotten confused as to which girlfriend he shared it with.
The key is that you can’t check in on the new friend...
2. Can’t answer or talk on suspicious evenings like Fri or Sat night
One of the most simple indicators but very common. Unless one or both of the cheaters is privately employed they are off on Saturday and Sunday. So why can’t he answer his phone? Or why the hell is it shut off?? If he never shut off his phone before and is MIA 7 to 1 at night, I would worry. Sometimes I see my dad in Santa Barbara to go watch a movie but not every weekend and it usually was not very romantic!
1. The “friend” category in his life keeps increasing
And the number one indicator!! The suspicious friends…
“I was out with friends, you know Jason from work… the guy that you have met only once and know nothing about…” This is what I call the Anonymous Alibi. He is going to Vegas with Jason? Really… He has no pictures to show you? Hmmm…
Jason, I am sure exists, which helps him lie. “It was amazing! Jason had a run at blackjack and made $800 bucks! Then he got so drunk I had to hold his hair out of his face while he puked! You should have been there!” Wow, Jason has some long hair and probably gives good head when your boyfriend isn’t holding it!! The key is that you can’t check in on the new friend OR… God forbid, he has a real friend to lie for him. Double whammy, not only is he a liar but his friends are too. Bad sign ditch him and move on ASAP.
Food For Thought:
- Once you discover and prove such a thing move on… please, for me…? Don’t be one of those girls that will never be respected again because you accepted infidelity
- Cheating happens and is not done by exclusively men, in my experience men and women cheat equally. Don’t make this an excuse to hate men. Instead ask why did I choose this kind of guy?
- Men cheat for similar reasons you might, a lack of love/attention and they are horny! But for men that order is reversed
- Remember the world is a projection of what is inside you, want a great guy? Work on yourself not him
About the Author
Mike Masters writes a blog for women about relationships at MikeTheMasterDater.com. Traveling the world and dating every single girl he met along the way allowed Mike to make an uncountable number of mistakes in relationships. These mistakes led to a fluency in the psychology of dating that could only be gained from radical immersion.