It’s been months since your ex said adieu to you and you still cannot stop thinking of the shoulda could've woulda’s and the why’s. Of your romantic past together and the good even the bad times you spent for years. The days become longer, the nights colder… You’re still holding on to them even if they’re already in the arms of someone else or living their life without you. Here are signs you’re totally not over them when you should’ve been already if they already have long moved on.
1. You keep asking for a closure
There is no such thing as closure. The break up was the end of your relationship. No matter how blissful it was, it is done. There is no more you and him/her. It is finished. Get over it. They left you and they are not coming back. Asking them why, where did you go wrong is not going to fix the relationship. It was too late for you to try to mend what was already long broken. Their sail has already gone. The more you wanted ask for a “closure”, the more you causing pain on yourself and you are pushing them far far away from you.
2. You try to make them jealous
You think by jumping into a rebound relationship right after getting dumped is going to send your ex running back into your arms begging you to take them back. Sometimes it brings more damage than good. It makes them more think they were right of getting rid of you as you were able to replace them just like that.
3. You try too hard
Fake it till you make it. That’s what you do blasting on social media your new found single happy life going out with all these new guys and announcing to the world how happy you are with your new found freedom. It’s like telling your ex in their face, good riddance, I am happier now without you. This will cause them more to say, thank you I got rid of you too. You weighed me down in the relationship and this is why I left you.
4. You check their social media religiously
They might have already blocked you or unfriended/unfollowed you, but this doesn’t stop you from obsessively checking on their social media. Closely monitoring their every post to see who they’re dating or where in the world they are now and if they’re sad without you in their life.
5. You “accidentally” message/called them
Lamest excuse ever. Your phone doesn’t accidentally butt dial your ex (specifically). It’s your lame excuse just to get a reaction from them or force them to awkwardly text you back or pick up the phone to be polite… Please don’t do this. It makes you look desperate and still hung up on them. This will discount all the charades you have created on social media. It will really drive your ex far away from you all the way to Timbuktu. Just don’t.
6. You always compare them to a new potential romantic partner
Your new flame almost looks like your ex’s twin sibling. The resemblance is uncanny and if you do bump into your ex in public with your new flame, they’d be shocked to see you’re dating an exact replica of them. Your ex will think you still haven’t move on and that is another no no. It is unfair to date someone new because they look like/act like your ex. Or you date someone who's the total opposite of them... You’re going to end up breaking their heart and it’s downright disrespectful dragging some innocent person into your drama because you want to spite your ex.
7. You still break down every time
You still get emotional/flashbacks every time you see or hear even smell something that reminds you of your ex. You still hold on to so many things/mementos that your ex shared/gave to you. You can't just let go. You re-read all the texts/voicemails from them reminiscing everything about them.
8. You try to bump into them
You frequent places hoping you’d “bump” into them because you miss them so much. It’s not accidental they saw you there. You’re hoping to bump into them so you can catch up like old times. Uhm no. The next time you see them with their new s/o, you’d only end up breaking your heart into million pieces so steer away. Far away from there. You even make up all these excuses to make them meet you. Oh I still have your toothbrush in my house. Would you want to come by and pick it up? Or you want me to drop it off at your new house? Damn...
9. You ask them to be your friend
No. Just no. Why? For what? Maybe centuries down the road, yes. But not after a break up. You’re keeping them there in your life hoping they’d change their mind and maybe they still love you and ask for a reunion. What if they never come back? They’d come back to you for their love problems? For their shoulder to lean on/cry on? Ouch. Just hell no.
10. You’re still single
You’re technically single but you’re off the market. Because in your heart of hearts, you are still hoping and wishing, your love of your life will come back one day. Like the adage goes, “If you love them, set them free. If they come back, they were always yours.” NO. Don’t put your life on hold for one person who left you. Get your act together and live life according to you!
It is hard to lose someone so dear and important to us but it is not the end of the world for you. Learn to accept the fact you and they had shortcomings that just didn’t make the relationship work and letting go is the best way to both heal each other. Sometimes, breakups are not the end for you. Sometimes it is the beginning of a new love life that will make you see what love truly is. You might even thank your ex for leaving you as they gave way for a new amazing person to come along to give you the love you deserve.
Thanks for the time reading!