Why can't I just block him out and move on?

[babyqurllll]

It's a long story but I can shorten it. Basically my ex led me on and really hurt me badly. He has a new girl now, just two days after we ended things for good.

I deleted all of our texts so I wouldn't be tempted to read through them and I unfollowed him on Facebook so his posts wouldn't show up on my newsfeed, I unfollowed his friend and girl too. My friend says to just delete them and I'll feel better but I'm too scared for some reason! I can't bring myself to delete his number either.

We haven't talked ever since the day things ended. It ended with a four text conversation and he said if I need a friend or need anything at all he will be there for me, which I don't know how much I believe: I still care about him a lot and part of me keeps secretly wishing he'll message me but the other part of me hates him.

[Shaggy5150]

Delete all his stuff, you won't heal until you stop thinking about him.
Get away from the social media to see things. Take some time alone to mourn the loss. Then go do things you want to do and hang out with friends. Do not get into any relationships. Learn about you and figure out what you want and need. Before you know it, you will think less and less about him until you won't care or worry, then you are over him. Then you can return to putting yourself out there to find someone.
The longer you hold onto things about him, the longer you will hurt. Mourn the loss of the relationship as you would a death, but not for weeks and months. Embrace the hurt for a few days, but move on. Coming to the true realization that it is over is key.
Do not reach out to him. He isn't a friend, he is an ex. Don't let yourself be his consolation prize when he has nothing else. If you see him when out, just politely say hi and move on.

[babyqurllll]

Thanks, this was most helpful. You're right.. I feel I do need some alone time to think and find out more about myself and what I want. And I keep replaying memories but I'm doing my best to remind myself that it's over. It's hard seeing him with a new girl and knowing he could get over me so fast but I'm getting better as time passes. And you're right, as much as I care for him I'm not gonna be there as a friend at least for right now because it'll hurt me more. Thanks:)

[Shaggy5150]

Thank you for MH! Hang in there. Happiness will return.

[babyqurllll]

I'm doing a lot better now. I did some creeping and I'm pretty sure him and his girlfriend of two days live together xD not even worth worrying about bc that's crazy. Surprisingly after I found that out I feel a lot better haha

[Shaggy5150]

Great to hear you are feeling better! Just don't do anymore creeping/stalking, lol. You got some closure and know its truly over, now you can heal and move on. Letting go is tough, but as you are experiencing, once you do, it gets easier every day. You think less and less about them until they are nothing more than an occasional thought about someone in your past. You are moving on.
Heartbreak changes you and let's you grow if you let it.

[babyqurllll]

Haha I unfollowed him and his girlfriend and all of his friends and I had to stop myself from creeping today bc I know if I do it's just gonna make me feel worse. But I'm accepting it's over now and it's getting much easier as the days go by. It's actually helped me learn a lot. Now I know not to throw myself into relationships and trust guys so quickly, to take things slow, and I'm learning what I really look for in a guy. And I've also decided to stay single for awhile so I can focus on doing good in school with little distractions since I tend to put all my time and energy into my relationships and don't focus on anything else.

[Shaggy5150]

That is excellent! You are growing up, maturing and learning about yourself. Some wise decisions you are making. Taking care of yourself and your well being should be top priority! You are gaining your balance and self confidence. Feel good about what you are doing, something to be proud of. Finding the good no matter how bad things seem will benefit you in the end.

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

This is common to do when you break up with someone or
one whose deceased and you have their phone number you
never delete it cause it's memories your still attached to but
i can understand it's hard to let go of someone you loved lot
no one can throw their love feelings away. Your very mature
I get feeling that you were very faithful to him and you see this
you can win the heart over of any guy cause of your loyal, loving
faithfulness can let that happen, don't give up love will come to
you from a guy who will be way better than him

[lovemevv_22]

If he really hurt your feeling let him go and move on. distract yourself with your friends and don't focus on dating for now. What does your gut say listen to it because it knows best!!

[babyqurllll]

I want to but it's hard. That's exactly what I'm looking to do but nothing works. My only two friends I hang out with don't really do much and bring him up all the time and it doesn't help.

[spekterscript]

It's normal. It's part of the grieving process. We grieve the future we could have had with our partner. The more we make plans about what life will be like with our bf/gf the more it hurts and the longer it takes after the break up to get to normal.

[babyqurllll]

True. He always talked about our future and how we would leave the city together and how he never wanted us to break up. It hurts to think about.

[spekterscript]

Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. A lot of people tend to do that. Especially manipulative ones. It's also the signs of a jerk that he could say stuff like that and then casually move on. If you can let it sink in that he has no class for leading you with No Shame then he will be easier for you to get over.

A girl I dated kept talking about us leaving the city together too and having kids and that was one of the hardest relationships to get over.

[EntourageNaj]

"The more we make plans about what life will be like with our bf/gf the more it hurts and the longer it takes after the break up to get to normal." That is absolutely true.

[spekterscript]

Yeah. For real man.

[Sgt-Shaquiri]

I've been through a lot worse, and still managed to get over an ex who fucked me left, right and centre.

The only things you can really do are think about yourself, start to hang out with your real friends more and start some new hobbies and interest.

Never look back and certainly don't accept his cry to be your friend.

[KandleGuii2]

I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, Deep Down You Are Still Holding On To Him, You Might Not Realize It But You Are...

[babyqurllll]

I see it. I just wish I could let go.