Why won't he just block me? Or pick up his things?

[Anonymous]

My ex and I broke up a month and a half ago. Pretty much out of the blue and it was bad. Instead of accepting that he was done and pretty much left me for someone else, I definitely had a breakdown and dug and pried. The last month of our relationship was long distance. Which is when things started getting difficult. He has a lot of belongings at my house that I'd like him to get. He claims that he will come when he has the money ( we're 3 hours apart one way), yet he's out at the bar every night and going out with his new girlfriend. He made the statement to me that he was desperately in love with me 2 days before ending things and then said that he didn't love me anymore. He has been asking me to leave him alone and told me to "cheer up.. you're a strong woman you'll find happiness and be okay. Now please move on. There is no us." Well the immature broken hearted fool in me has reached out to him several times. Usually on Facebook and usually he sees it but ignores it. We're not friends on there. He actually created a new Facebook. Anyway, my point is that why won't he just block me?

I know that I should be the one blocking him and hating him... but I just can't bring myself to do it. I miss him so much. It still feels like yesterday.

[Esplorare]

He's probably not blocking you because lets be real girl: YOU ARE EGO FUEL. He could be having a bad day and no offense, but your pathetic, pitiful attempts to get his attention like a fired employee who showed back up on their boss' doorstep would flatter him and boost his self-esteem. There's no other reason for him to keep you around especially if he's already seeing someone else. I'm sorry but I have to be blunt with you because it seems like you've been codling yourself too much and that's why you haven't progressed. It may feel like yesterday, but the facts are that it's not yesterday: it's today where you have not only demoted, but completely kicked out of his life, and a new female has stood in your place. He's not giving you the same level of respect, care, and courtesy he did "yesterday". Therefore, you need to rip off that Band-Aid IMMEDIATELY, face the sting, walk away with your dignity and cut his a** off. What he's doing can easily be considered as a major smack in the face. He's sh*tting all over you by not taking the initiative to come get his sh*t/moving at his pace and making sure you're aware of his new girlfriend. Why the hell do you want a guy who is so careless with your feelings like that? He can't even treat you with the respect and consideration of a friend. What a loser!

Stop giving him all of this emotional and mental power over you. You are letting him orchestrate your life right now and the quality of your happiness. You are literately giving him all the tools he needs to impede your healing processes. You will never find peace so long as you give this asshole any fraction of thought, emotion, or opportunity in your life. Point blank period.

Here's what you do..
1. Mail his sh*t to his office if you have to. Box it up yourself and make arrangements for him to pick it up from one of his friends. Stop giving into his little game of operating on his own convenience where he gets to stop by your home whenever he'd like and show his face

[Esplorare]

2. BLOCK BLOCK BLOCCCKKKKKK!! Everywhere. Block him from every single form of communication, interaction, or life-access he could have; Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, Youtube, effing Gmail and LinkedIn! EVERRRRRYWHERE. This is more for you than him. He left you. Plain and simple. He disinvited you from his life, his future, his occurences... so act accordingly and completely remove yourself. This is where your healing process begins: once you eliminate any trace of him and the pain, distress, and anxiety he comes with.

3. GET SEXY! :D This means be adventurous, fill your thoughts with new knowledge and experiences, take care of your body/go to the gym, by a new outfit, go have a spa day, go out dancing and own the dance floor! Do things that add onto your confidence and sense of self-worth. Is being ignored by him one of those things? HELL NO. Start doing activities and things for yourself that make you love every single inch of your physical, mental, and spiritual self

[Esplorare]

Do things that make you adore your journey just so that you could arrive at that special moment or experience.

It is time for you to take back your happiness. He doesn't deserve you. He has clearly sh*tted all over you. You have got to take control: Take back your control over your happiness and sense of peace. He has become excess baggage slowing you down and keeping you away from that breathtaking mountain top view where you can feel proud of yourself and worth despite all of your flaws and adversities.
Kick his a** out of your life. Please.

[Asker]

You're exactly right. Unfortunately, I can't mail it. Or I would. It won't fit in my car for me to throw it on his doorstep either. Anyway, you're so right about everything. I want to kick my own ass truthfully. I'm 27 years old and I have never felt pain like this in my life. One day he was my best friend then bam. His friends and family have even been here for me since he's apparently this is his nature. You'd think that would make it easier. It doesn't.

[Esplorare]

Okay so you tell him "Take the time to come pick up your belongings this week or they will be sitting outside on Saturday." His decision to invite himself to your home when he is well and ready, despite how emotionally inconvenient it is for you is ABSOLUTELY TACTLESS AND UNACCEPTABLE. He dumped you then he wants to come around your home, your sanctuary, and show his face when he would like despite your healing process? Uh-uh! That's not right. Figure out whatever it is you need to do to get his sh*t out of your home and make it happen. That is the first step. No more of this giving him an invitation to drop into your thoughts and keep you stuck in reverse nonsense.
If he has time to go to bars near where you live, then he has time to get his stuff. Get that handled today. Give him an ultimatum: don't ask, TELL HIM. "I need your things out no later than this weekend."

[Esplorare]

I can tell you are seriously hurting, but you have got to look past your emotions right now and get this sh*t handled. Start thinking with your head, not your heart.
First, get him to get all of his sh*t out of your home. As soon as he leaves, block him from everywhere. Either that day or the day after, do lovely things for yourself : ) Go buy yourself some yellow roses (yellow is the color of hope and sunshine plus they're gorgeous.) Treat yourself to a spa including a massage and a pedicure even if you have to take some money out of savings.
Do you have many friends? You're probably going to have to cut off his friends and family even if just until you are sincerely over him.

[Asker]

I have deleted his cell phone number. After your response, I blocked him. It was empowering. I asked him about getting his things this week and he ignored me so I told him to grow up. He's a very selfish person. I started to see it at the end. He's not at bars close to me. He's 3 hours away at them. The last time we saw each other we were still together. Everything bad happened between us through text. I tried calling I tried everything but he didn't even have the decency to leave me to my face. I actually have a ton of friends. Many are annoyed with me because of my ex. It has consumed my life. And his family has actually improved the healing process for me. They're amazing people. He treats them the same.

[Esplorare]

Whaaaaat? He didn't even have enough respect, courtesy, and care for the bond you guys had to properly end things? What a loooooser! Seriously, that's what BOYS do; not MEN.
I am glad that you're feeling that rush of empowerment but it's probably smarter to block him after he gets his belongings because he sounds like the type of self-absorbed, insensitive a** to spite you by bringing his new girlfriend to "help" him or something : / I don't know could be wrong , but that's just a preventative measure for him coming there and being toxic or spreading bad vibes. I would recommend unblocking him until he gets his things but that's just me.
When it comes to assholes, you have to treat them like children. A child doesn't learn when you scream at them, speak their child-language, and get on their level. A child responds to a calm, cool tone/demeanor with very brief, simple, short words. A child responds when you let them act up, misbehave, sternly let them know of your disapproval and then give

[Esplorare]

them time and space to recognize their wrong on their own time. It's sad that the best attitude to have towards many men is the one that you would take towards an emotionally, mentally underdeveloped child but it's true. You don't let children control your happiness, emotional response, or demeanor: It's the same with assholes. It can be hard to do but it's necessary if you'd like to retain your sanity and sense of worth. Let him be the childish asshole that he is while you stay calm, cool, and in control.

If you have plenty of friends then that means you have plenty of opportunity for distraction from this jerk! :D Even plan a girl's trip!

[Asker]

Yes. He's bad news from what I am learning. Unfortunately, it still doesn't phase me. I've been trying to get him to get his things for a month. So has my mother lol. I'm living at home currently. I was staying here until him and I got our place. ( he was supposed to move/relocate here) so not only is he disrespecting me. He's disrespecting my parents. He's been short and rude with her too. Oh hell this whole thing is just a true train wreck.

[Esplorare]

Okay, well if you are that cool with his family then ask one of them to pick things up.
Tell him "Your things will be out of my apartment by the end of the week whether you come and get them or not. I have no responsibility for your belongings. You need to either make the time to come and get them or make arrangements for someone else to."

[Esplorare]

So clearly he's giving you example after example as to why your journey will be better off without his immature tactlessness and ridiculousness...

[KittyBox]

For the love of everything, just ignore the asshole.