If a girl is rejected because she is deemed too overweight to date but then loses weight. Does the rejector deserve to be rejected?

Say a guy was trying to pursue a girl that was overweight who was otherwise minding her own business. He likes everything else about her except her weight. But when she decides to pay attention and end up liking the guy he proceeds agree to anything else but date her unless she lose the weight. He rejects her especially since he had falsely assumed overweight or obese people are easy sex and she didn't put out yet he's still interested but afraid of what it will do to his image if he dates an overweight person. She loses the weight and now he's more interested than before. Is she obligated to give him the time of day especially after she was humiliated for nothing?
  • Yes
    Vote A
  • No
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Girl

  • I have to say, i've been in a similar (not the same) situation. I was the fat girl, constantly being rejected back and forth by guys I liked. They liked being around me and talking to me, just never wanted to date me or even worse, date me but in secret (yeah, shitty I know..).

    I finally decided I was done being the fat girl and over 4 years lost 90 lbs. (Amazing how cutting back on eating and exercising works…) I have to say, a lot of these same guys who rejected me before and now asking me out left and right. My attitude at first was to reject anyone who rejected me… but losing the weight has def. given me a different perspective on life. I've given some a chance, but they have to work even harder for my attention. ;D

    This guy… seems way insecure about what other people think. And that's not the guy you want. If it's not your weight he has image problems with now, his other insecurities will show. And may bring you down in other ways. This guy sounds like he has issues. If he really wants things to work, let him work for it! But I'm sure there are better options out there.

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    • I agree for sure.
      The issue is is because I only even gained weight (70-80 lbs) because I was put in Paxil for severe depression and anxiety for other horrible things. I was always skinny at one loint too skinny until I took the medication which not only did not help me, it made me gain the weight, attract this situation (since fat girls are easy, right?) and dig me even deeper into depression. Thank you for letting me know Im not alone. I don't know how people overcome over and over.

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What Guys Said 8

  • She isn't obligated to give him the time of day. No one is obligated to date anyone. The question is does she want to date him? I don't know why she would find this guy attractive if he rejected her because he assumed she would put out because of her weight and be pissed when he found out she doesn't.

    That being said, if a guy or gal rejects someone because he or she doesn't find someone physically attractive because of their weight, I see no wrong in that. I also see no wrong in a guy or gal becoming attracted to someone after that person loses weight. Or if their skin cleared up. Or if they got orthodontic work done. Or whatever issue it was that was turning the other person off.

    What should a person who has lost a lot of weight do with people who never knew him/her before he/she lost the weight? Should they carry around a picture of themselves when they were overweight and show it to prospective suitors, then ask, "Would you date this person?" I'm not suggesting this is what you're talking about, dominiquois, but I've heard questions very similar to the one you're asking before.

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    • But the thing the girl NEVER asked him or a date or in the slightest. He just said it. Does anybody hook up with anyone they don't find attractive in the slighest?
      I could PM you the circumstances if you want to not blurt out everything but it was just so uncalled for all of it.

    • *thing is
      *or in the slightest insinuated it.

    • *want so as to not blurt
      Ugh!!! Typos.

  • She has the right and obligation to do whatever SHE wants. If she wants to lose the weight because she wants to make him happy then ok. If she wants to date him then she has the right to and she should. If she doesn't then she has no obligation to anyone but herself and she should not date him. Same thing that he has the right to reject her as well as the right to want to date her. There is no obligation in either case.

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    • I agree. Thanks for your answer.

  • Hell yes he is an asshole, I am not overweight neither is my GF however I do (sorta) know how it feels, my brother is overweight and he is dating the most popular girl in school! He asked her one day, "why didn't you reject me? I am fat!" All she said was that she knows him for who he really is and that's what she cares about, they are now engaged and plan on havering 2 kids...

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    • Aww that's so nice about your brother she really seems sweet.
      Yes, the guy was an asshole but he was good at pretending he wasnt. Just gotta be more careful next time I guess.

  • No. It's called having honor. If a guy didn't like her back then but decides to pursue her now, he is being a dishonorable hypocrite. He already burned the bridges by rejecting the girl, so what makes a difference if she loses the weight? Once you make your decision about someone not being attractive enough to date, don't go back to it. Have some honor guys.

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    • Yep. It's best to keep it this way.

  • Hell no, dont give him the time of day. He if he really liked you then he would have dated you, he is super shallow. That relationship will end badly.

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    • I thought so. Thanks :)

  • Rejection sucks, welcome to a man's world. You got rejected does it really matter why? If it was your personality, would you want revenge then. That's a lot of hate to carry around just to get even.

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    • When did I ever say I wanted revenge? Stop putting words in my mouth. One thing is to reject somebody off the bat. That's fine, not a problem. Another is to A) PURSUE somebody who was minding thier own business. B) Once they gain enough trust to get the person to lie them, fooling them in the process into thinking they were great the way they were to them. C) Telling the person they won't go out with them because of excess body weight but would if they lost it. Is all levels of fucked up. Especially since this was a first time and without knowing if this person was dealing with other issues. It's unforgivable. So yes, rejecting them back is well deserved. It's fair and the most civil way of telling the person to go fuck themselves without having to say it.

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    • You can't have your cake and eat it too. Once you reject someone, you never go back to that person again to ask them out. It's called having honor.

    • Yes I agree. He should've jus had the honor in the first place but oh well. It's in the past now. Best to move on and keep getting healthier.

  • why give in to this. revenge is sweet muhahaha

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    • Lol, yeah.

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    • Lololol. XD
      Ok.

  • No, at least not merely on the basis that he rejected her. We all have preferences and thats okay.

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    • Ok, but why pursue somebody and lead them on if they dont fit your preferences. Thats just cruel.

What Girls Said 7

  • Yes. That bad taste would be in her mouth forever. The point of whether or not the guy did anything necessarily wrong isn't the issue. It's like starting a relationship with baggage from the get go. I was a fat teenager and after I lost some chub not only did I get asked out by guys who wouldn't have dated me, I got asked out by guys who tormented me in the past.

    Rejecting them was a great feeling unparalleled by any other, and I'm not sorry about it.

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    • I'm glad to hear that. It must've felt like there is a God.

  • Yes. Because when someone said they like you or want you, it shouldn't be with conditions. They should accept you the way you are, for who you are not the way they want it to be. Of course he should be rejected afterwards, no excuse accepted.

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  • IF THEY DAMN GIVE HIM THE TIME OF DAY I WOULD PERSONALLY TRAVEL TO WHEREVER SHE IS AND BEAT SOME SENSE INTO HER!!! THE GUY IS A TOTAL TOOL, NEVER DATE SOMEONE WHO IS SO SUBCONSCIOUS ABOUT IMAGE THAT HE WOULD DENY SOMETHING SO BEAUTIFUL INFRONT OF HIM

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    • Lmfao!!
      That was really beautiful <3

  • Nope, if he was a jerk to her before unless he proves himself in some way she doesn't owe him anything

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  • If all he care about is her body, she doesn't need that shallow idiot!

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  • He. Is. An. Asshole.
    case dismissed

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    • Lol, not going to argue that.

  • Eww why would you want to be with a guy who rejected you because your over weight. My boyfriend still went out with me when I was overweight, and is still with me even after I lost weight. Now he's a serious guy, he liked me for me and not because I lost weight. Honestly I think you many want him because we all seek validation from other people. And having him like you give you validation. But he doesn't really like you just dump him

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    • You're right.

    • Also I wasn't seeking validation from him or anyone. He just decided to pursue me so I was like why not? If I what to feel confident I do it on my own terms

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