Boyfriend takes credit for everything I do... and never asks for suggestions?

I am very creative (my "to do" list is huge), have many interests (music, sports, computers, photography, cooking, painting, and fixing appliances!). I tend to be a perfectionist and have a good aestetic taste... my project are often a success. I am very modest though, and never show off. I rather have others compliment me for what I do, and even then, I would minimize my merits. My exbf is a very smart guy with a lot of interests too. But there was something a little odd about him... he used to take credits for everything I did.
He would reject my advices, and later follow them and even take credit for them. Or tell friends in person or on social media about the awesome things "WE" or even "HE" did, when in fact it was my idea. Or he would copy my projects (at least mine had a better outcome!). Or insist on doing the things I was good at (like cooking because he "had to learn". But what is the point since I was very happy and - felt *important* - to cook for both?). A shameless copycat without identity.
The other thing that was odd about him, is that that he never asked me for suggestions. Or never thought me anything. He would struggle trying to figure things out on his own, even though I am sure he was aware I often knew better and could give him advices. Why? At first I thought that maybe he did not want to sound needy. Or maybe he did not want to owe me something. Or share with me his success. And when I gave him suggestions, I always refrained from looking like I was lecturing him, because I did not want to sound pretentious and hurt his self-esteem.
At first I did not mind, I loved sharing with him. But then this became annoying. I felt invalidated, I lost self esteem (funny, huh? And I worried about HIS self-esteem), he made me feel unimportant, I felt I lost my identity. Can someone explain me what happened? Why did he behave like this? I do not know if this is related, but I got seriously depressed while we were together.

Updates:
By the way. When he broke up with me he erased me from his life. Acted like I never existed. But I am sure he is using everything he learn from me to look *splendid* in front of the girl he left me for.

0|0
14

Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like a classic case of the "look at me!" complex. He used your skills to leverage his standing with friends and peers. It's no different than plagiarizing an artist's work. Just because I can belt out Elton John doesn't mean I *am* Elton John, and if I tried to take credit for it, I'd be discredited easily. Most people would be shamed by that. Not this guy. He'd ride that train as long as you let him. Probably too long already. You certainly deserve better.

    1|0
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • you're better off. he's clearly still a child.

    1|0
    0|0
  • you should break up with him

    1|0
    0|0
  • If that were me in your shoes, I'd Rick James that nigga. Fuck Ka-You Bitch! I'm a dude. So, understand why I'd say this.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 1

  • He's just a glory stealing asshole. You get these people sometimes in life. Narcissists that want so much attention it just pains them to have someone else having the thunder of acknowledgement. If he makes you feel that negatively about yourself then maybe you shouldn't be with him.

    1|0
    0|0
    • "Glory stealing asshole" fits sooo well! And no, we are not together any more - he dumped me for someone else. He could not stand the "depressed me"... but he insisted on being friends and even offered help to get over the break up, like a friend would do!!! I think he just wanted to benefit from me like he did before, while enjoying a fresh new relationship with someone else... I avoid him like the plague. I feel so betrayed.

    • Then you're going the right way about it.

Loading... ;