Why does he always go back to her when she treats him like this?!

Not to sound completely self-centered, but I have been nothing but nice to this guy I like since I met him. He says he loves me, but he can't love two people at the same time.

However, he constantly goes back to this one chick who makes him feel like sh*t constantly, puts him down, and argues with him over everything.

When she doesn't get her way she stops talking to him for months, so we grow close. But then she comes back expecting him to love her more than ever, and gets p*ssed and tells him never to talk to me again when she finds out about us. He won't, but he still wants things to work out with her.

She was the first person ever to take him up and actually have sex with him, so she believes they have some 'special bond'. But all she does his guilt him and make him suffer for everything he does, then manipulate him.

She's a jealous bitch who does nothing but play on his insecurities, and makes him out to be a monster.

He even wants kids some day, she's told him she'd never have kids with him!

Why does he always go back to her when she treats him like this?!

He's even told me that if he were smarter and could make a better choice, he'd want me.

I realize he loves her but Jesus, any relationship with her is just destined for epic failure!
Oh no, I'm far far perfect. I'm not saying I'm better than her- he obviously likes her more for some reason. It's frustrating too though, twice I told him I've been asked out, I've been on one date with two people and both times he's gotten depressed...


Most Helpful Guy

  • You aren't perfect, but you're much better than her. He's like I am, I think. No matter how bad she would ever treat him, she held the ideal of how great she was to him at one time. He can't let go. What you need to do is to tell him to choose. Listen, he probably will choose her over you, but he's going to come back to you when she f***s him over and leaves again. Don't be easy. You tell him that you can't trust him and can't believe him again. If he really loves you, he'll do all he can to prove that you can. Don't give in or let up for a while, but don't play it out or push him away. Let him try and you be committed to him without telling him. Don't give him too much, but don't give anyone else anything. He will deserve it. If he doesn't, he shouldn't and you should never talk to or give him the same jurisdiction again. You just make sure that when he comes back you tell him that no one else, not even her, will ever mean anything more or the similar again. After that, he earns it and you don't give him anything he doesn't earn. YOU will be worth it your whole life. It won't be someone else deserving more because no one else does. Be sure, though. You'll destroy him if he tries so hard for you, like he tried for her, and you let him down. Be honest, be open, and be sure of what you say. Don't tell him something without following through. He'll hate you and think of you far less than if you were honest about your intentions and feelings.

    • Thanks for this answer. I talked him out of it today, I told him everything that was on my mind and he told her it was over if she didn't change. She told him he was 'interrupting her conversation with another guy' and quit out of the chat with him.

      I don't want to play games with this guy, thank you for the advice :)

    • Good, but you have to realize that he only left because of the way she did him and not because of you. There's a distinction. If she hadn't been a bitch at that time, would he have went back to you? More than that, if she wasn't a bitch and wanted him back, would he leave you for her? Probably. So, still, tell him upfront that there won't be more bullsh*t or he won't have the option to come back to you. Stand by it, too. Don't even give him friendship because he won't be worth it.

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What Guys Said 1

  • If you really like someone you want to work at it to change them, he must think she's worth it... She is clearly using him, but when you like someone and they say they want you its pretty hard to say no to that. I've dated someone three seperate times and I'd still date her even though she's left me for a guy who she used to like and had done other things as well, but I like her and deep down I believe she is a really nice person, I know she can be nice because I've seen it, everyone else of course tells me she is using me, but I'd do anything to spend time with her at all which is abit pathetic but hey that's what love can do to you.


What Girls Said 1

  • Why do guys always love the bitches? There's no tenderness and love there. Don't worry, it won't last. Next time she stops talking to him, do not be there for him. When you keep taking him back when they are on the outs, it allows him to keep the cycle going. Break the cycle. He already knows the difference between the 2 of you. I would tell him that you love him but have to think of yourself and your needs. Start going out...maybe date others. Once he sees you pulling away, he'll dump the Beotch and come to you for good.


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