Boyfriend ghosted me and went back to his ex. Crying. What was so wrong with me?

[Anonymous]

We've known each other for years and were getting really serious. We both wanted marriage and children. I never cheated on him or any other man. I loved him.

The ex cheated on him and dumped several times, always treated him poorly and manipulated him (we were friends before dating and I've seen how she treated him). Insulted him, flirted with other guys in front of him then dumped him the last time to be with the guy she cheated with. That guy fucked her over, and then she wanted him back... and he took her back, even though she knew we were dating. Within six months, they're living together and engaged, and getting married in four months on top of that.

The worst part was that we were together for a year and a half. I know she was trying to get back in his life, but I didn't know he wanted the same thing. We were supposed to do something special for my birthday which was a month ago, he cancelled and didn't reschedule. That was the last I heard from him until finding out today, when I started working at a bridal shop and the two of them walk in, and she tells me all the details.

I'm just so hurt right now, and I don't understand what was so wrong with me that he would rather be with someone like her who treats people the way she does. I treated him well and got the short end of the stick. I really thought he was one of the good guys.

Did I deserve this or does it just sound like he was never really over her to begin with? I just don't understand why anyone would ever love someone who treats them that way.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a great person that was always there for him and treated him with respect! The fact that he is gone back to this woman that has treated him so badly before might have something to do with his own low self-esteem or she has some weird control over him. Don't blame yourself, you are better off without him in the long run! The fact that she rubs it in your face shows a horrible side to her but karma will get her😉 I also got screwed over my boyfriend who also made excuses and ran back to an ex and left me in complete shock. Also claimed there was nothing there between them and how he can't believe how lucky he is to have found me, blah blah blah. As hurt as I am too, we need to be strong and remember there's better out there and things can only get better. Delete everything about him and start the slat clean. Wishing you the best x

[kk123help]

He was never over her I really sorry this happened to you and you deserve way better than that peace of shit he isn't worth your time I say just help him find out what he needs for his wedding when you are around him act like you don't care about him or what he did to you say that you are happy for them try to look tour beat but don't over do it and maybe he will come to his sinces and try to go back to you when that happens or if that happens just say no just act like you have moved on

[peppermintpatty]

Honestly it sounds like he deserves her because he's not much better. You're fine honey, it's him who's messed up and you should instead see it as dodging a bullet. Let them deal with their toxic relationship and don't waste time being sad over a guy who isn't the one you need to be with. I know it's easier said than done but don't fall into the trap of thinking you deserved to be treated like that.

[TFXNYC]

Sorry for your situation. It's obvious that he was never over her. When men break off in such a way he was never truly committed. He was just telling you what you wanted to hear while he was 'monkey branching' behind your back. It will be rough for a while. Eventually you will get the closure you seek. His answers won't ease the pain because it won't change anything. Just be sure not to grovel. Accept his explanation and walk away. Stay strong, rebuild and move on. You have no choice. Walk away and don't look back.

[Asker]

He didn't even give me an explanation though, just saw me and ran. I only found out because she bragged to me about everything. It was horrible... one of those moments you have to fake being nice to keep your job.

This is a good answer though and believe it or not I'm glad they walked into my store: it hurt but it also gave me the closure I needed. It just hurts because I deserved at least an explanation. Thank you though.

[TFXNYC]

No worries. You're the one with the honor and dignity in this situation. Move on and live well, best way to show this didn't break you. He's her problem now. I think she just did you a favor. Good luck.

[Dreku]

He was caught up in her because she was toxic, his mind wants her to be what he has built in his head, I know it hurts but, you are better off, he doesn't truly love her, for lack of better words he needs to "conquer" her as the way she acted hurt his ego, she will likely do the same again

[Asker]

Wow I never thought of it that way. I just assumed it was either me or that he was never over her, but this makes sense too

[Dreku]

I've made a similar mistake as he is over 10 years ago and feel the repercussions every day, not you at all, infact he may feel exactly how he said he did to you, apparently is a weak like i once was, if he comes back dont talk him, he will see you as disposable stability

[babygirl646_2012]

Sorry to hear that happened to you. You’ll find the right guy with time don’t worry. There’s plenty out that!

[babygirl646_2012]

there

[iamnash]

I hope that never happens to me it will be ok find someone better and he’ll come crawling back

[NerdInDenial]

He was never over her.