Why Did My Ex Partner/Friend Block Me?

[IngonitoGirl]

I used to be in a situationship with this guy in 2022. I first followed him and he followed me. We started chatting and I showed interest but he wasn't ready for a relationship, since he was cheated on months before. But we continued to chat, sometimes til 3 or 6 am. He'd call me and tell me to come over. I told him not to do that again. An ex friend had went out drinking with her boyfriend and friends and invited him. That night they got drunk and she told him I was in love with him. This broke my trust in her. She's blocked on everything now. But he and her still follow each other on IG, FB and snap. She has a boyfriend, by the way. I lost my virginity to him some months later, though I wanted to wait. He ghosted me for 3 months before he replied. This led to me falling more in love with him. I felt like he took advantage of my feelings and just wanted me for his sexual pleasure. I unfollowed and removed him a couple of times. I even told him why I was doing so. But once I accepted our outcome, I followed him back and had him follow me. I'm thinking everything's ok now. But 3 months later he's in Spain. I told him I was happy for him, especially since he expressed last year about how he wants to go to Spain and how he misses his sister who lives in Spain. I remember encouraging him to go to Spain and see his sister. And he even made a post. The quote I made on his post when he said to insert motivational quote was this, "We can run and hide from our fears, but we can't run and hide from ourselves. Someday, we're gonna have to face our biggest fear... the person within that we need to hear. Only then will we learn to heal and conquer the world around us. But only with time can the truth be revealed." the next day he blocked me with no explanation. I'm just hurt and confused as to why he would block me! I've always been there for him virtually. I supported him and encouraged him and he just blocks me. I gave him space but did I do too much?

Updates

3 mo

He blocked me on IG, which was the only contact we had. I know his FB, but I'm gonna leave that alone. He has my phone number, I don't have his. And the girl who was involved in this triangle, who has a boyfriend, I sent her a virtual letter before blocking her. The next day, she checked out my TikTok profile and I blocked her on that.

[bobalife]

Well, it’s very confusing and nothing makes sense. Fact is you didn’t do nothing wrong. So, it’s him. I am thinking…. He has a side girl and he blocked you to be more serious with her. I’m sorry, it does sucks and it’s hurtful. But honestly, he ain’t worth the heart ache, tears, and stress… sometimes we fall in love with the wrong people and we gotta learn from this experience that we deserve better. He seems unhealthy for you tbh. I’m sorry girl…

[IngonitoGirl]

I don't know what makes him think that blocking me would solve his problem? Ome of the last conversations I had with him, I said I didn't want a relationship with him. I finally accepted our "friendship" and said I've moved on. So I don't know why he would think I would try and interfere if that is the case. He moved to a different state and he blocked me, but he didn't block the other girl.

I know he's not, but he was my first everything and he knows. Do you think he might unblock me? I mean, it was pretty ridiculous to block me when he could just communicate or set boundaries with me. Maybe this was his boundary? But I don't think I did anything wrong!

[bobalife]

I don’t know the whole backstory, so I can’t really give the best advice. However, what I can advice is that when someone blocks you… they’re trying to move on or move forward with their life. It doesn’t make sense at times and most of the time only they would know. Sure it may be what you want, but he doesn’t wanna be in communication anymore.

If he has another girl, then, he probably wanna bring security and reassurance to her. It’s not always about rather you will try to intervene or not, but a new relationship needs to build a good solid foundation of trust & security. Also, it’s uncomfortable if you’re starting to be serious with someone who still engage or friends with someone they have a deep past with that may still means something to them or it could cause potential problems. I know it doesn’t make sense now and your feelings are validated. But eventually you’ll have to learn to accept that he removed himself from your life and you also need to move on in order to let this guy and situation go. I’m not sure why you’re worry about this old friend of yours that he still friends with on social media, but that problem is between you and her. Not him and her.

[bobalife]

Never wait for someone who cut you out of their life. If he wanna come back, he will. Just focus on you and the important people who’s still in your life.

[IngonitoGirl]

I know your words are truth and real, it just hurts if that's why he blocked me 😔

How could he treat me as such? I was nothing but good to him and doesn't care. Do you think he's seeing someone?

[IngonitoGirl]

I'm trying it's just painful. I'm gonna try therapy every week until I can stand strong on my own. I hope he realizes what good he could've kept in his life.

[bobalife]

Trust me, I get it… it stings a lot and doesn’t feel fair when it’s someone you care about deeply, invest in a lot, and gave a lot of love to… it will take time to process and heal.

Not sure of the whole story. But girl, you gotta be real with yourself, why do you keep giving someone like this another chance when he doesn’t seem to understand, apologize, nor acknowledge what he put you through? Plus, you did told him… you moved on. If it’s that easy for someone to walk out (twice), like why do you hold onto him so strongly and want him in your life so much? If someone walks away that easily esp when you gave them a lot of love, of course it’s disappointing, but it’s like fuck it, someone else deserves what you’re able to offer… and you know who that is? 1) yourself 2) someone more worthy of your time/emotions that’s willingly to stay and fight for you. I hope you’re able to love yourself enough to know you’re enough and he’s NOT enough to give you what you deserve because he’s not willingly (plus, no communication is a no bueno… he just blocks you🙄)

As I mentioned from the complex story and details you shared so far, he possibly has a side chick he wanna pursue.

[bobalife]

I think processing it in therapy will definitely be helpful. I hope so too. Sometimes, they do realize it and takes someone for granted and might regret later. Sometimes; they do not realize it and will continue making the same mistakes. But that’s HIS problem.

[IngonitoGirl]

Yah. We never were in a relationship, but I gave so much to him, sacrificed my virginity, my time and love. I was just blindsided by how attractive I thought he was. My old friends told me when they net him that he was either ugly or not their type. And recently, another guy friend said that he's mid lol that made me laugh a feel a little better but it still stings cause he was my first an the knew it.

He even did say many times that I deserved someone better than him. The last time he said that over a few months ago, I said to him "No... you deserve someone like me and I deserve better than me!" So I hope he realizes that I am enough and I really hope that the only reason why he blocked me was for my benefit or if he did have feelings for me that this is his way of healing and moving forward, knowing that he's not deserving enough!

But I thank you for everything you said, whether it stung or made me laugh or made me come to the realization that this is probably what was meant to happen for my benefit, which I did realize but seeing other people saying that just echoes and makes more sense. I hope this never happened to you or will ever happen.

[IngonitoGirl]

Yup that's his problem. I'm heard he stopped drinking, which I'm glad he did, but he could always relapse if he doesn't take care of himself! But I won't be there for him because he blocked me out. I won't be there rocprovide comfort, reassure and support! I did my part. But thank you once again. I can tell you probably been through something similar or experienced because of the insight in your words.

[bobalife]

I hope you know even though you weren’t in a relationship, it doesn’t take away how you felt and what he meant to you. And that’s completely validated. Even though he may not look as attractive or personality isn’t as appealing to others… but he meant a lot to you and no one needs to understand that other than yourself.

Tbh if someone says that you deserve someone better, believe them and just agreed that you do deserve someone better than what they’re giving you. You deserve someone who will try to be the best for you! I think we all get blinded by feelings and don’t always realized the walking red flag someone may be. I hope you’re able to take away from this experience that if someone treats you the way like how he does; then, he’s not really deserving of you and your love. It’s okay to care for him, but you’re caring about him more than your own well-being and when he removed you out of his life. He’s a douche… let him go and let him learn what he missed out on a loving girl. Frfr.

Thank you for your kind words. We all get hurt and all we can do is grow from it. I just don’t want you or anyone else get more hurt by people who mistreat yalls… sometimes, being strong is all I can be and do through my own experiences and I would just hope I can bring that change for others who needs that empowerment, compassion, and wisdom. It’s going to hurt for now and maybe for a long time, but someday you’ll look back and be thankful he left because it’s a blessing in disguise~

Hope you surround yourself with positive friends and family that you may trust. Let yourself heal and move on from this situation.

[bobalife]

And yeah I’ll admit, a lot of guys always try to come back to me after their mistakes and fall out, or the situations. But typically I’m unbothered and don’t think twice because I know what I want and need, it’s not that… I guess I have a couple exceptions in the past, but it’s because they recognized it, maybe grew from it, and tried to do better.

[IngonitoGirl]

The girl I used to be "friends" with told me the other day that, "he's not your ex because we never dated". And I told her, "I know, but I call him my ex because we have history/situationship". And she was like, "As long as you know". Wish I could slap her! I feel like she has it out for me or something. But she'll get hers, too, one day! I told her "what you put into the earth, the wind will bring it right back".

To me and to my ex friend and some people, he's a good looking dude. But to my old friends, they think he's mid or ugly lol which I find funny! They understand what I'm going through and not judgmental.

I do deserve better, and I even told him that on occasion and he told me the same thing. So we both agree. I knew about his red flags but I totally and completely ignored them. I wanted him and wanted him to be mine. He had suffered with addiction and was healing from his cheating ex. We talked deep stuff, and that's what no one can deny. That other girl was like, "anyone can have deep conversations with anybody". And I said "yes but not really because there was something there, like he trusted me enough to tell me". She's toxic. I'm glad I blocked her everywhere. After sending her a digital letter the other day and blocking her number, her IG and FB, she had the nerve to check out my TikTok. I'm glad TikTok let me know because I blocked her there too lol

He is a douche. I told someone else that he's a dog without a leash just wanting to hump around. I betcha one day, he'll look back and realize but I won't be there because he has me on block! He may think he has the power, but in reality, all he has is control over the block/unblock button and access to me. As for me, I have the power! And as twisted and painful as it might be, it was a blessing in disguise, though it's hard for me to wrap my mind around it. I hope I surround myself with loving and positive people, too. I hope the same for you. Keep the bad aura and people out of our lives!

[IngonitoGirl]

Maybe he'll come back and maybe he won't. I'm hoping he will but then yet again it's more likely he won't. But who knows for sure, but him!

Have a year of your exes or any people came back after blocking you or cutting yoy out of their lives?

[bobalife]

I'm sorry, your friend sounds very insensitive, her communication is just very direct, or she just wasn't very supportive of you liking him.

It's okay to be upset at him, but I think it is important to also work on letting him go and stop waiting/hoping for him. You gave a lot of good reasons why he is bad for you and you admit he is a red flag; therefore, you gotta let yourself see him for who he is and the situation as it is. Do you want a boyfriend/friend like this? Its a bit unhealthy. If another person did this to your friend, what would you tell them? It will hurt for a while, let yourself grieve and move on at your pace. You deserve to let yourself heal and find peace within yourself.

[bobalife]

The key is stop waiting and focus on your happiness, your goals, do what you want in life, and let yourself be open to others who are willing to give you what this guy would not. You gotta think about your worth and what you deserve. Do NOT settle for less. He already said you deserve better and very clear about it. You are only hurting yourself sis. I know it will take a while to move on, it may not feel okay now but it will be okay over time slowly~ I'm sorry you are hurting and it is really a messed up situation.

Well I dont usually have people blocking me lol. Just a few I guess, but do they come back? Yes. Does exes reach back out to try again? Yes. Is there others that we didn't work out/they ghost/I ghost and they came back? yes, plenty. But I dont wait nor count on it. I focus on my present and look forward to my future, not my past. If they wanna prove things will be better, maybe I will think about it and reconsider it. But 9/10 I leave the past in the past. I am sharing this only because rather or not someone comes back, what is most important is YOU and your happiness. 9/10 I look back and am thankful that things did not work out with the WRONG people. Everything happens for a reason and you learn from those experiences. Hope this helps~

[IngonitoGirl]

I am starting to accept it. I am at acceptance. I don't know for how long I'll be grieving and going through the motions, but the healing has begun. I was even looking at our past conversations and analyzed them. I was very persistent and direct with him, as well as loving and caring. I am a pretty blunt person myself, so I can see where I might've been too much or forward and how some of the things I said could've been offensive, but I was just being truthful in how I felt and think. But he was being avoidant, quite passive and clueless. I made sure to delete the selfies he sent me. But I still have ways to go.

I've also come to the acceptance as to if he unblocks and reaches out to me or not is out of my control and it's something that is up to him. The ball is in his court and I have made my bed. Yes, I was balling earlier today, but sometime after that I was starting to accept the fact that I'm blocked and it may or may not be over, but how it's important to let him go. Something I should've done a long time ago, but didn't have the courage to because I felt attached to him. I'm sure he felt something about me, but that's his worries and it shouldn't be mine.

[IngonitoGirl]

Whether he reaches out to me is up to him. I told that ex friend of mine who I blocked all communication with that he's gonna have to reach out to me. Once he does, then I'll reach out to him. But I won't reach out to him unless he does. But if he doesn't, then he did me a huge favor!

Like how I mentioned before, we never dated, though I did ask him out twice and he canceled twice, we were involved emotionally, phsycially and sexually. And that can create some sort of bond or feelings, even if he never really had any for me prior. Probably why he ghosted me and probably why he blocked me because that quote made him feel a certain way. But that's something that he has to deal with, not me! If only people would communicate and learn how to things would be a lot easier and less stressful and confusing. I had told him in the past many times that I'm not gonna wait for him and there were times that I did tell him that I would permanently delete him, especially if he didn't respond. But, since I didn't have the courage to, he did so for me. I don't know if I'll stay blocked forever or not, but this is something that needed to happen, for both of our sakes. And in some sort of ways I'm quite thankful that it was him and not me, though at times it hurts. But Thank you for your insight and kind and truthful words. Much appreciated. I'll get through it and I'll heal, maybe sooner than later.

[bobalife]

It's okay to want someone and know that they are NOT good for you. Once you recognize this, you should not talk to them again esp if you know you will easily go back to them and go back to the same unhealthy cycle.

It's okay to not be okay and slowly pick yourself back up.

Doesn't really sound like he had good intentions with you... :/ I'm sorry. It appears you are very attach to him. Just know it is an attachment, but you need to detach yourself. I hope you take sometime to reflect "why would I wanna talk to him again if he reach out when he treat me badly and he is a walking red flag?" "what am I looking for in a boyfriend/what am I not looking for in a boyfriend?" and "what is a healthy relationship? what is an unhealthy relationship?" write all those things down to reflect.

It does not sound like you have fully accepted it and it's okay girl because it is still fresh; so, take your time and give yourself some grace. It is no rush. Take it at your pace to heal. Acceptance takes time... right now you are grieving and seem to still be in a bit of denial (with him coming back or not, and still wanting to be in communication).

[IngonitoGirl]

I've probably like 75% accepted being blocked. I feel myself getting better, honestly the more I had analyzed our past conversations, his actions and behavior and the more than likely reason as to why he blocked me. He's just incapable of communicating as an adult and as a man. He has trust and commitment issues. Knowing his avoidant style, I saw something like this coming, but still was caught off guard with the blocking. It just shows his maturity levels and his emotional capabilities. The quote obviously triggered him and hurt him, though that was NEVER my intentions to do so. But he's not adult enough to communicate with me, so therefore, it's not my problem and not my responsibility to try and reach out or fix. And I'm not gonna be that type of girl those goes on other platforms and tries to talk to him. That's gives creepy stalker and obsessive vibes, which I wish not to be! Though I need to stop checking online about his account.

But tbh I think I'm gonna get over this sooner than I know it and heal from it very soon to. I've been praying and talking and journling and doing research. I can't tell you the next time I might ball or cry, but I feel myself moving on and just fully accepting it, whether or not I remain on block. And I feel like soon, I'm gonna be 100% ok with that very soon ngl

But my experience with him in the past and recently has taught me a lot and I know I'll be actually ok. I'm taking measures and they seem to be gradually working everyday. Thank you once again. Hopefully this isn't the last time we chat!

[bobalife]

Aw I’m so glad you’ve been journaling and praying! Continue to do what will make you feel better and process during this period. You love deeply and you deserve someone who will give the same love, if not more.

Yeah a fella who isn’t willingly / try / to communicate is a no bueno. Communication is not easy, but efforts and will is what counts.

I don’t really go on or post/comment that much on here as I used to, but I’m happy to be here if you need anything. I gotchu girl :)

[HouseMoat]

Why ex's think they can be "just friends", I'll never know

My parents aren't. They've been married 38+ happily

[IngonitoGirl]

They can be if they're mature about it. The thing is before we got together one night, I was there for him. I supported him and encouraged him. There were times he opened up to me and came to me. But why would he still follow the girl that pretty much sabotage any chances? He knows she finds him attractive, yet she has a boyfriend; they have been together for 6 years. She even told him that she would not leave her boyfriend for him. I wonder if her boyfriend knows about their "friendship".

[HouseMoat]

This is my point. Why should ex's be friends. If they break up, it'll be because they cheated, who wants to be friends with a CHEATER

I'm telling you EX'S CAN NOT BE FRIENDS

[IngonitoGirl]

No one cheated. And we didn't date. We did have a situationship, but I was his friend first.

[HouseMoat]

There's no such thing as a sititatioship. You're not jersey shore. y'all CHEATED

[IngonitoGirl]

Oh shut up will ya! No one cheated, end of story get over it!

[HouseMoat]

y'all CHEATED

[IngonitoGirl]

You're stuck on the cheating thing when no one cheated. He was cheated on with his ex prior.

[Avicenna]

Time to put this guy out of your mind

[IngonitoGirl]

It's hard to when you care

[KrakenAttackin]

This guy sounds like. Chad fuck boy who is spinning plates.

[IngonitoGirl]

I'm not sure if I understand this but it sounds like you're insulting him lol

[KrakenAttackin]

It seems he is a player.

[IngonitoGirl]

It's cus he is one. The girl I used to be "friends" with, she has a boyfriend. She's been dating him for 6 years now. But this guy went after her, knowing she was dating someone. Even she told him that she wasn't gonna leave her boyfriend for him. But the funny thing is I pursued him, and later on he did the same thing... wanting me to come over, calling and messaging me late at night/early in the morning, and canceled on our date, twice. He would even ask me to sneak out and out me to go out with him late at night. He once asked me to go rock climbing and I did go. That's only cuz he needed a belay partner. But yah, he played me and though I gave him that source of comfort, encouragement and support, he blocks me on IG after I made a quote on his post. But he's still following that other girl on IG and other platforms. Ridiculous!

[KrakenAttackin]

So, lesson learned. Chasing fuck boys never ends well. He has a thousand other girls lined up so no one girl will ever be special to him.

[IngonitoGirl]

I betcha I meant something to him. Despite our past, I felt like the only one he had to confide in. That's probably why he blocked me because of our past and the quote I made. Maybe it was too much for him. He probably didn't want to be reminded but my quote wasn't to attack him or embarrass him. It was to give him encouragement. And he's doing exactly the opposite of what I quoted. He runs and he doesn't confronts. He hass commitment issues and trust issues and is avoidant. I'm just basing off of what I know and knew. And if blocking me seems like the solution, though it's not, this goes to show that he probably will never change. I know it's not particularly my fault, but maybe my quote triggered him or maybe he really doesn't want anything to do with me anymore, which stings. After all I did, sacrificed and put effort into.

[KrakenAttackin]

Confiding is a method of getting women to let down their defenses, by showing selective vulnerability.

[IngonitoGirl]

He has trust and commitment issues. His ex and his past traumas messed him up

[Roudyrebel8]

Move on life's too short for drama

[IngonitoGirl]

Easier said than done

[Roudyrebel8]

I know but you are beautiful and worth so much more and deserve happiness not heartbreak

[IngonitoGirl]

I'm hoping he'll unblock me one day and want to communicate and let me back in, but if I didn't do so like when my family wanted me to, I had a feeling he might. And I know it's probably a good thing he did, but I feel like he stabbed my heart with a sword. I did and gave so much 💔😭

[Roudyrebel8]

Well I wish you nothing but peace and happiness! And rapid emotional healing

[IngonitoGirl]

Thank you. I do hope he comes back, but one can only hope

[Roudyrebel8]

I hope for your sake that he does as well but if he doesn't don't blame yourself it's not your fault and guilt is toxic and only beats you down when what you need is to be built up

[IngonitoGirl]

I just hate that my so called ex friend had something to do with how it ended up. She already has a boyfriend, why keep in contact with something you know won't last?

Yah, I know I didn't do anything wrong but what I said could've impacted him in some way. I just wish he'd communicate that with me instead of blocking. I mean, who blocks? I didn't harass him, threaten him or stalk him, wait... I would stalk his profile, but not really much!

[Roudyrebel8]

Some people aren't good at communicating feelings so the run rather than express difficult feelings and yes many guys suck at communicating

[IngonitoGirl]

Yea, I think he did have some sort of feelings for me but was afraid or I wasn't enough for him.

He always had trouble expressing his feelings and communicating. I would push him into telling me back then.

[Roudyrebel8]

You've got to stop thinking you weren't enough for him quit beating yourself up and start picking yourself up so you can kick ass and take names

[IngonitoGirl]

I think I'm not enough for him, yet I think I was everything he needed, though he was too blind to see.

If you ever been through something like this, what helped you get over and move on with life?

[Roudyrebel8]

Not exactly apples to apples but I lost my wife in a car accident 7 years ago got remarried a year later then she ran off with her boyfriend over a year ago. I just keep reminding myself that things will get better and never settle for less than I deserve

[IngonitoGirl]

I'm so sorry you went through such a tragic yet heartbreaking experience. No one deserves that! Things will get better. I'm an optimistic person though I like reality. But I do know that things will get better for other people. I always had a feeling that you and others in this world will get a chance to experience love and hope than me. Yes and never settle. I don't think I settled because he was attractive in my opinion, but I settled and dealth with his crap for a long while.

Are you wanting to get into a new relationship or are you content?

[Roudyrebel8]

I don't know

[IngonitoGirl]

It's OK if you don't knownat the moment. Taking time to contemplate and actually analyze where you are in your life and how you feel about yourself will help you to come to a conclusive answer.

For me, although I am hurting and in so much pain that I feel numb but at the same time feel like he put a sword through my heart that it's bleeding out, I know that soon, may not be real soon, that I will truly be ok with everything and I will soon see him for what he really is. A dog without a leash that just wants to hump around!

But I also realize that though prior to meeting him, how much I wanted a boyfriend. And after all that mess with him, though we never dated, I got to experience how and what I should expect from a man within a relationship and how I should be treated. And now that I'm suffering from choosing to associate with this guy, I'm not ready for a relationship at this moment. I don't even want a situationship, never wanted one. But that I know once I can be ok with knowing that he's no longer in my life, whether or not he comes back, that I'm better off and I'll be alright. Only time will heal and only time will tell!

[Roudyrebel8]

I can relate after my wife died I wanted to feel anything but the pain and loneliness

[IngonitoGirl]

And a lot of times we cannot control how we feel or our emotions. We experienced something that we could not control or undo. But as for you, keeping her memory alive seems like something important to you and hard to do, which I can only imagine. I wish I had the right words to say to you, but all I can say is that it's not your fault. If you blame yourself. And she wouldn't want you to feel this way, would she?

[Roudyrebel8]

I did initially but I don't anymore. Not long after it happened I got some strange advice from a friend of mine. She said " go out find a girl and fuck her" while I didn't right away when I did it actually did help

[IngonitoGirl]

Well... I would've given that advice, but I'm glad some advice helped you get through. It's tough. Love is tough whether it's reciprocated or not or whether it has died. But she has always loved you and wouldn't want you to feel this way. That I do know!

[Anonymous]

Don't play those games. Just move on.

[IngonitoGirl]

Was it my fault he blocked me?