What does it mean when at moments I almost call my boyfriend by my ex's name?

I really like my boyfriend: we have more compatible personalities, similar tastes/hobbies, and he's much nicer with me then my ex was (and in life, I don't mentally compare situations with my ex anymore). HOWEVER sometimes I almost call my Boyfriend by my ex's name: let out the 1st syllable, and mask it with some other word... its very embarrassing for me, but I haven't been caught yet :p. Why would I associate my Ex to my Boyfriend like that? I was with my Ex for 4 years almost and we broke up 8 months ago, and I've been with Boyfriend now for 3 months: does it mean my Boyfriend could be only rebound guy or I'm not over my Ex actually? Is it common to do this and what is the signification to this!?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I actually don't think there's a problem here, and here's why. You were used to calling your boyfriend by one name for 4 years, and now suddenly you have a new person in your life and it IS a transition for getting to know your new boyfriend in your old boyfriend's place.

    Yes, he may be a rebound, but it isn't simply because you call him by the other guy's name. I think it would do you well to explain this to your current boyfriend as well (not the rebound part, the he was in my life for 4 years part). This will open up the dialogue and give him a chance to tell you how he feels. If he openly tells you that it hurts his feelings, you will make even more of an effort to try and get past the name issue.

    I also think you are not completely over him, how could you be after 4 years? And more than likely, not to put you out there or anything, he was your first sexual relationship too or at least the most long-term one. This plays a LOT into how deep your affection was for him. That is completely normal.

    As they say, it takes half the time you were together to get over a person. That doesn't mean, however, you have to be alone for 2 years after you broke up with him. It simply means that the feelings still linger on but finding someone you care about and love will help you get through that. It's good that you have acknowledged this guy might just be a rebound, and if you feel that way, don't hold onto him if you don't think you could ever truly love him.

    • Thx for yor analysis! You are right, it woudnt be human if I just forgot my ex on a snap of the fingers, so I guess it has an impact . The weird thing though is that before my Boyfriend and I dated, I had no problem with his name. However abit after we dated, the name mix up started... (message to be continued due to space limits)

    • Yes because, before, he wasn't in your boyfriend's place. Now he is in that spot and so seeing and being with him reminds you of your past relationship :) which isn't the worse thing, I think at the very least it shows you see yourself possibly loving your new boyfriend as much as you loved the last. I'd really say just talk about it with the new boyfriend and make sure you're not hurting his feelings. Feel free to message me anytime if you need help :)

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