When your ex puts up a REALLY strong wall, how can it be brought down?

I'd really like to hear from people who have been on both sides of this.

If you are the one who put up the wall, what did your ex say or do to finally ease things up again?

If you are the one who had to break the wall, how did you accomplish it?

My ex and I broke up 4 months ago, not because the love was gone, but because his selfish, psycho brother threatened to kill me. But after the breakup, I did some passive-aggressive things, and now my ex calls ME the psycho. He ignores all kinds of communication with me, no matter how simple and nice I try to be.

Any advice?
When your ex puts up a REALLY strong wall, how can it be brought down?
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