I think it depends on how you leave each other, if you leave each other both still kind of still liking the other person, then a friendship will quite often not work or end up being more than just as friendship. But for me the one relationship that ended with kind of an argument and a lot of silence is the one that after a while I now get on with quite well and she comes and visits me occasionally and we are friends. Do I still find her attractive? yea does she still find me attractive? Probably but she has moved on and I have been with other people since her as well and like I said there was a long gap. With my other ex's there is quite often still either some kind of hate or grudge or maybe in some cases still a bit of feeling for the other person. All in all I think the hard thing about being friends with an ex is that unless something big changes or there is a long gap/you had a bit of an argument and then talked properly, you mostly either still love ur ex at least a tiny bit or hate them for what you did that made you stop loving them, thus in the majority of cases I feel it is very hard to be friends with ur ex
I'm not friends with any of my exes. Either because we broke up in a bad way or we tried to be friends and it didn't work out.
One ex though, we tried to be friends but it was making it hard to move on so we stopped talking. Then a couple years later we became friendly again and got back together
damn i've never seen so many poll answers before.
I know right. Me too 😂😂
I am really good friends with my ex and have a good relationship with him and his wife. Just the other day, I spoke with his wife on the telephone for a good hour or so and it was about personal stuff.
I tend to talk to her more than him if I am asking them both a question (like want to get together, are you guys going to so-so's party, etc) since I feel like that is more respectful to their relationship.
I call him if I have specific question for him (car questions, birthday wishes, etc).
But I have known my ex for over twenty years and I know his wife too since we are work colleagues and I would say his wife is now my friend too.
We socialize together, we talk on the phone and they have even stayed the weekend with my boyfriend and me.
It is doable as long as both parties are respectful of each other's new partners and do not harbor any ill feelings or unresolved romantic feelings.
My ex is one of the best men I have met in my life and he is very dear to me and I will always love him and want him in my life as my friend.
Not really friends like we hang out or anything, but i am on good terms with all of them. I dont hate any of them and i assume they feel the same. Have to forgive and move forward. It wasn't always that way though. I used to totally despise one ex. I had to get a restraining order to make him go away. I dont hate him anymore even though he still does nothing for our son. Can't make anyone be a good person esp someone with so many personal issues. We haven't been together for close to 12 years now. He mistook my kindness for interest earlier this year when his dad died and i made it clear that wasn't happening. As far as i know, we're still cool, i haven't talked to him since though.
my most recent ex and i are still on speaking terms. i don't know if i'd call us friends, since we aren't as close as we once were, but perhaps that's for the best.
the dude and i were very good friends who tried to be romantic and it didn't work out, so we just went back to a platonic relationship. there were no hard feelings, so we'll stop and chat if we run into each other (it's a small town). but, for the most part, we don't keep in regular contact.
as for my other exes? hell to the no. let's just say that, if they were on fire, i would just keep walking.
Opinion
119Opinion
u There are two primary problems with maintaining contact:
1. The dumpee will have some hope of reconciling the relationship and will agree to remain friends just to keep the lines of communication open. However, when the dumpor starts indicating that they have found someone new, the dumpee will become jealous and potentially disruptive.
2. When the dumpor starts dating, the dumpor's new partner will say, "Hey, WTF is up with you hanging on to your ex? Are you still in love with him/her?"
I used to be, but not anymore. It's not a hatred thing or dislike. Just parted ways without talking about it. Lives went in different directions. Like i'd say only 2 of my exes that if I called right now we'd be able to be friends again. To me being friends is knowing their soul and they know yours. It's not dependent upon time, proximity or even knowing everything that's going on in their lives right now. You know them and you can feel it. You both can.
I don't feel as if I know all my exes. Maybe if I talked to them in person I might feel differently, but that connection is broken and we're not talking so the actual state of being friends is not the case at this time. One ex i'm sure I could be friends with, because we always were friends even before dating. The next ex I don't think i'll ever fully trust again, because she actively tried to hurt me emotionally. So there's always that barrier for me and her because I always feel like she has some type of ulterior motive with me. The following ex I left on bad terms with and wouldn't want to be her friend lol. The following ex I don't doubt that we could be friends again or even more if I could get over some of the things that happened, but I doubt I will because they were dealbreaker type situations that honestly will probably never go away. Maybe down the road something will change, but right now I can't be friends with her either.
But I can easily be friendly with all of them or have friendly conversation. I'm just a transparent person about where they stand with me so I won't pretend. I won't be an asshole or a jerk, but I won't act as if we're close.
You have To give it time because me and my ex we stopped talking completely for I believe a year... the. we just one day texted and ever since then we call each other and stay on the phone for hours at a time how we used to when we were together. I couldn't see myself getting back with him so were legitimately friends
I think if has a lot to with your feelings for that person as to whether you guys can be friends and you have to genuinely care for that person in order to make such a thing work.
its so stupid to stay friends with your ex,. although there are some people who would stay good at all
something like bond and friendship, but its better to let it go than to still have that connection
cause of course, present relationship will always ask about something with your past,. so if he knew he is much closer to you
it will became threat for your present one
no other people would understand what connection you have with your ex, even you explain it to everyone that its not something important all
but of course those doubts will always take you there to the possibilities of going back together
So my answer will be NO! Never stay friends with your Ex, Maybe acquaintance but not friends
I seen no reason why, given we had two fine kids together and i was always a good hands on dad, we shouldn't have at least remained civil. But no, that wasn't good enough for her. She lied about me, stole from me, ostracised me from my kids and my family. Done everything she could to try and make my life a misery.
But the truth of what happened will come out in the end, it always does. Then she will depend on my forgiveness or she will be ostracised.
Will i forgive her? Of course i will. There is no point in letting anger and hate consume your life.
Tried it recently. I've since dropped her out of my life. I just woke up and realized that it's really strange that people want to remain friends with their ex. Either way, one person is going to want to be with the other and the other will already moved on. What's the point of remaining friends with someone you were once in love with or had intense feelings for? Unless, of course, you didn't, I could see why. Other than that, it's literally irrational and one of the few times giving into emotion over logic would be a really stupid thing to do.
My opinion though.
Kinda sorta I hear from her from time to time. She broke up with her boyfriend and tried warming up to me and although she's gorgeous and I do like some things about her personality she can't ever seem to own up to any mistakes she makes and it irritates the hell out of me. Any time our breakup got brought up (it didn't make any sense she just faded off like an asshole and had a different reason each time she explained why in the future) she would say I was whining about it etc... when in reality she did me wrong. I've been trying to figure out why she left me and what the real reasons were..
I voted dropped all contact, technically I'd be voting the last one but I've talked to guys and I never stay in contact when things go sour. I tell them if things go bad I never want to talk again because I don't see the point of keeping the past alive.
Some have been former friends or acquaintances but I never stay in contact. I just can't, it's not necessary left on a bad note. I just don't see the point anymore. It's like taking a wrong road to the store. I don't keep taking the road , I learn from it and never go there again.
I feel like if I had an ex I'd never want to have contact again. I mean if I happen to be passing in public by consequence then I'd say hi to be cordial but I wouldn't catch up
I ran into one of my exes a week ago when my friend that I was with knew his friend that he was with and they stopped to talk to each other. Me and my ex just waited for them to finish the conversation, literally did not say a word to each other the entire time... and that was perfectly fine by me.
Please don't update your question with nonsense.
It's not nonsense. I'm thanking people for participating. It's called being grateful and appreciative :)
I talk here and there to two of the past guys I've dated. We aren't the closest where we'd hang out and such, but we don't avoid each other when we're both invited to the same social gathering and we're able to stir up a good conversation. However there's one where the relationship ended in a bad way so I've cut all connection with him completly.
Oh Christ no the ex has made my life a bloody misery for 3 years until I completed ended it.. so the dumper got dumped right back
I was used as his emotional punchbag whatever the Fk was goin on in his life I was the one gettin the abuse the catfished
No real what that man put me through..
Other exes from before him I don't kno I was younger back then so don't see or hear of them.. n don't think of them n I'm sure I don't cross their mind either...
I'm friends with guys I dated for a very short time period (like 6 months or less) but other serious relationships have many more emotions involved and being friends in my opinion would never end well, so many bad things that can happen, there's a reason their an ex so should probably keep it that way! Lol
In the past I tried and failed. Now I'm able to and practically bff with my most recent ex. It takes a lot of emotional maturity. If you really loved someone and love yourself, there won't be jealousy and you'll be able to see your ex with someone else and be happy. It's great to have a friend who knows you, and can give you honest dating advice and tips.
I am friends with people I had flings with - and they weren't little flings either. They were borderline relationship, but too complicated for it to ever work out. I'm still fairly good friends with those guys though. However, my real ex's I'm not friends with any of them. I tried to be with one of them and then realized what a mistake I was making and cut off contact.
I'm extremely close to one of my ex's. He helped me through the worst times of my life with my families divorce, mum walking out, my depression/suicide attempts, sexual assault. He was always the one picking me up. So when we split didn't want to lose that. It is hard. I mean it's still hard at times now. But we had a year apart before we talked as we needed that breather now it's better than ever
After the tension died down, I'm kinda on a respect level, like we're not friends, but we're not enemies and we don't ignore each other or anything. It's because we're both part of the same friend group with two other people. We just kinda got over it all, I mean it was months ago.
I have been friends with several ex's but not with all. It all depends on the breakup and whether you were friends before the relationship started. If you weren't then there really is no reason to remain friends after it ends unless it was a very long term relationship.
This depends on the people involved. The circumstances of the break up. Me and my ex were friends for years before we were a couple. He was deceitful after we broke up so I took away the option to be friends in the future... He showed no curtesy or care to me so he gets nothing from me now, and lost everything we ever had.. It totally depends x
Majority of my breakups didn't warrant a friendship being possible. I mean my last ex dumped me on Whatsapp and refused to see or talk to me again so there's no point in being friends with a asshole like that. The same was for the previous previous ex. For some reason I just never had peaceful breakups with the exception of 1 when I was 16 but he chose to not be friends as I left him and I respected his wishes.
I tried remaining friends with my then first boyfriend but it failed. He was the one who wanted to be friends despite me having feelings for him still. I wanted more but he didn't which is why it failed. We weren't good for eachother because he'd mostly try to hurt me and put me last. When it was over for good, he disrespected me to his friends, put me on a pedastole to get laughed at, etc. I'm glad it didn't work out now but I don't hate him or wish any bad on him in any way
I've only really had one girlfriend. We broke up because she finally admitted she liked her best friend of several years and just wanted to be friends. (perhaps ironically my first emotion was excitement, because I know he's a nice guy and I was super happy for her).
I purely hate him for reasons, I'd never want a friend like him. I tried to be civil with him for a while but I couldn't stop feeling uncomfortable around him, and I certainly couldn't get over the resentment for what he'd done. So no, I am most certainly not friends with that pig.
I am with my first boyfriend now so I haven't had a break up. I have been heart broken by guys though and out of like 4 guys who did that to me, I am only friends with 1 of them. I am still friends with him because after he broke my heart, I met my boyfriend so I got over that heart break and I am now able to talk to my friend as a friend.
u I guess we could say I'm friends with one of my exes. She helped me through a VERY rough spot a few years ago. She was already married at that point, but she was a good ear to me. We haven't talked much lately. She's now busy with her husband and three kids.
For me its a no, I have tried in the past to stay friends but it just never worked, they either wanted to still act like we were together, or when I started seeing someone knew I was called names. Thankfully I no longer have to worry about all of that.
I'm friend-ly with all my exes. We don't talk regularly or hang out but are on good enough terms that if one of us needed something, I'm sure I could call on them or vice versa. I don't think being friends with exes is healthy for future growth. But I dont think being enemies with an ex is good either.
We met once a year for a coffee and talk about our lives and what changed. He was my first boyfriend and cheated on me, I refused to have any contact for two years, then my new boyfriend encouraged me to talk with him and I was surprised how much he learned and changed from our relationship. We had a lot of common interests so he keeps me updated on this. If i would need anything I know he'd help me out. Still he's not a friend I see or contact regularly
I'm friends again with my previous ex. We didn't break up because we were fighting but rather because we drifted apart. Then we had a huge fight a month after we broke up, didn't have any contact for a year & now we're friends again since last month. xD
Which is amazing, you really don't have to be ashamed for anything- We've seen each other naked, can't get any worse than that. xD
Nope, they both long long.. I tried to be friends with no but she broke all contact with me.. LOL.. Her number got turned off, and I never heard from her after that.. The other one was back in fifth grade, and I didn't take that one seriously and we never official broke up... But she was coo.. She transferred schools though.. Never saw her again.. LOL..
I have given no answer in the poll because no answer match my situation. If I had considered my exgirlfriend to be a friend during the relationship, I would have tried to keep the friendship, but she has never been my friend, why would she be my friend nowdays?
I wouldn't be friends with my first ex girlfriend cause
are relationship ended poorly and I'd rather leave things
the way they are and my second ex girlfriend things didn't
end good cause she lost my class-ring. So see I'd rather
leave things where they're at and not be friends with my
ex girlfriends i think a ex is ex for one reason or another.
No in my case and many other people in this world it doesn't work. I'm a jealous guy and it's just pointless move forward. The last person your new boyfriend wants to do is meet the Eskimo bro that was making sweet love to you before him. Every guy wants to be the first, not in today's world but at least not the 16th 😂
I'm usually capable if it's a mutual breakup, but she most often can't without stirring up her feelings and trying to get back together. Once she got another boyfriend, she's never to be heard from again other than a casual hi when we bump into one another.
I am not , kinda.
I will talk to them if I run into them, I also have no problem having a conversation with them or being in a social event too. However I have no interest in getting involved with them, nah.
I had to cut my last ex from life completely because it wasn't gonna work out. It was too hard with her.
I have not seen my one ex since we split. I am sure that in a small town, where he works in the centre, I will bump into him, especially now that I am home from uni for the summer. It will be awkward, I am sure, as I will most likely have my boyfriend in tow.
I've only been friends with one ex as we broke up for reasons outside of our control. We didn't long, and the more time I spend with him as friends I realized how incompatible we would have been as boyfriend and girlfriend lol. The last guy who dumped though was seemingly perfect. I did catch feelings for him and I tried to be his friend but couldn't as he turned out to be liar.
I would rather fade into a distant memory. Though i did make the mistake of seeing her with another guy. As long as she's happy that's good. But i dropped all contact with my ex's the moment they chose to do something bad for the relationship or we didn't work out. Believe me, it's so much easier this way.
she broke it off and then refused to talk to me for a couple weeks. it wasn't until after i found out she cheated on me and tried to hook up with my friend that she tried to communicate. by then i wasn't having it.
@IARedThunder why did it go up in flames for you? jealousy or just couldn't stand to look at each other?
I'm friends with one of my ex's, mainly because she was able to take the breakup maturely. It was hard on her, and she was pretty sad, but she was mature, and we still cared about each other's well being.
Not close friends, but I was friends with dudes I dated and I have one ex where if we ran into each other it'd never be awkward. Because even though we were once lovers we were still friends. I think it's possible sometimes but it depends.
I wouldn't piss on my ex-wife if she was on fire she is a manipulative cunt. and has refused me access to my son for the last four years. So like I said she is a waste of piss and a work shy lazy bastard!
Its hard to be her friend, she moved on easily. I remained single for the last 6 years , dating who ever i could trying to find someone who i wanted that wanted me back. But nothing has happened. Meanwhile she's had multiple partners. And i just smile and tell her im happy she is happy. But im really dead inside and i cry at night wishing that god could help me have happiness once again
@Poppykate thank you, i really hope it will be some day soon. I suppose i do it because she is the only girl i have ever loved. I wish life was as good to me as i is for her. she's also extremely good looking so it makes sense everyone would want her.
Yeah... it's kinda weird. I was best friends with my ex before we dated, best friends with him while we dated (like seriously, it was a super platonic thing...), then we broke up because of it and yes. Still best friends xD
my ex and I try to stay friends because of the fact that we were friends before we were ever lovers or married so yes we are friends I wouldn't say best friends in the whole world but she is one of the better friends that I have in this world
Well... he apologized and all and did explicitly state he'd like to be friends. I didn't really take him up on that offer but we're civil to each other and all so not really 'friends' but not out to fuck each other over, either. ✌️
I have never because my ex and I just avoided talking all together. Before that I tried to talk to him to make sure there were no misunderstandings but end up failing. His friend gave me too much negativity so I just gave up. His friend and I tho are on ok terms tho there's still a lot of name calling and things between me and him. I don't talk to my ex's friends like that tho.
No, I'm not, with any of them.
Personally, I think when ex's are friends, its usually because one person either wants the other back orrr still wants to be important to him/her and still wants the other party to not move on and stay attached.
One ex I'm his friend. The other I absolutely tried to be but I fell in love so I haven't messaged him. If I have an ex I usually get them out of my life because the past is the past, no point dwelling on it.
You could be friends with
anybody! You are a friendly outgoing person!
Can you be a friend with your boyfriend's ex lover? If you don't feel the awkwardness then you guys probably never liked each other much.
When you break up, it's over. You are at best: rivals and worst: acquaintances. You can never be friends.
Sort of kind of. We don't hate each other or have bad feelings towards one another. But we also don't go out of our way to communicate or make sure the other is okay. I'd like to be closer, but my ex is very immature and acts dumb most of the time.
I helped many of my friends become friends with their ex's.
Tbh, it was crucial that I did try to help them reconcile something, they were both my friends after all and I couldn't bare our group become divided every time a relationship broke down.
I'm friends with my most recent ex. We've been friends for almost 8 years then we dated which obviously didn't work out but we are still pretty good friends.
I wouldn't say friends, I keep in contact with one ex for a certain reason. (not romantic) we just share something and the other I don't speak to at all.
In my experience, being "just friends" with an ex doesn't work. If I can even stand to be around them after the break up it's because I'm hoping that there's a chance of getting back together.
There's only one that I properly hate. One that I'm still really good friend's with and had a house with for a while a few years after we broke up. The rest I'm on speaking terms with but i wouldn't call any of them friends.
One cheated on me... When I went on vacation with my best friend so dropped them and the other guy was cry baby and we were still friends for a while before I moved
How often did this guy cry in front of you? I only did it once in front of one of my exes (for a good reason).
@somewheresomeway
sorry for that... i accidently kicked him instead of the soccor ball
Lol, seriously?
@somewheresomeway yes... but im happy now and have a boyfriend and just had a baby so im doing better from the exs
That's funny. I thought he cried over some relationship issue. It's okay for men to do that in very limited scenarios (I hope)
@somewheresomeway nope but i dumped him and i think im doing better now with my life
Mine is a special case. She turned out to be gay and is like a sister now. The only way for ex's to be friends is if the breakup is mutual and neither have interest in the other romantically.
Used to be, until her new boyfriend destroyed our friendship. After she dumped him she contacted me back, but things never where the same again. It was great while we lasted.
me and my ex are actually kind of good friends. long term she gets annoying af and she can't own up to mistakes which causes a lot if other problematic byproducts. but af friend I can not give a fuck and just have fun.
I'm FB friends with some of them lol but haven't talked in years.
I used to remain friends with them in school, though, but the friendship wasn't like it used to, obviously.
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