My very close girlfriend and I broke up, and she immediately got drunk, and hooked up with another guy.

Yeah, I get it. "What does it matter!? You can't control her!" I get it, it's just that it's different. I don't feel jealousy, or anything, I feel heart-broken. We were together for about 2 years, and we were best friends before that. In the midst of the relationship, she was going through depression problems, and I was always there for her when she needed me. She had one boyfriend before me, and it lasted three days. It only happened because her friends pressured her into it. Anyways, I was maybe, one of the best boyfriends, you could ask for.. Reason for breaking up with each other, is because her family is big on jobs, and I didn't have one, and her family didn't want her dating me, although, I applied everywhere I could. Oh, and yeah, we're in high school. She's a sophomore and I'm a senior. When I say, I did everything for this girl, I did. She was going through depression. I've been hit by her, and she regrets every strike, but I always knew that she didn't mean it. We ended up breaking up, because we figured we were spending way too much time together, and that she needed to self-improve, so she could be a better girlfriend, and that, her family didn't want us dating. But it was almost like a break, because we still hooked up and sh*t like that. We really seriously loved each other. I still love her. She still loves me, but after about a month passed by, she went to a party and madeout with some dude she didn't even know. She got drunk. I remember when she went to a party, and she got so drunk, where she had no self-control, some guy kissed her and she couldn't do anything about it. He ended getting punched in the face by his brother. Got a black eye, haha. Sorry for this being so long, but she called me at 2:30 in the morning while I was playing Xbox with my friend, and I honestly felt very uneasy about the party. She lied and told me she wasn't going. I didn't believe it very much. When she called, I was in shorts, and a t-shirt and it was like 0 degrees out and I found her and brought her to my house. Her parents found out, and blah, blah, blah. The thing about her, is that she's easily influenced by others, and she does these things, and she regrets them. Again, sorry for rambling but straight to the point, we broke up she got drunk and hooked up with some dude drunk, and she cried about it, and regrets it. I just told her that it broke my heart, because, she's a very hard to get girl. And I had this giant sense of accomplishment when I finally kissed her. She said sorry, and I told her not to be, because we weren't together.. but I told her how I felt used, and how I felt like sh*t about everything. She cried. This happened about a week ago actually. So I'm sitting here, all out of tears.. I've spent this week crying my eyes out.. I need some words of advice, or anything to cheer me up. I mean there's sh*tload more to the relationship but I can't fit it all here.. but after that happened, I feel my life becoming emptier, and emptier..


Most Helpful Guy

  • "We ended up breaking up, because we figured we were spending way too much time together, and that she needed to self-improve, so she could be a better girlfriend, and that, her family didn't want us dating. But it was almost like a break, because we still hooked up and sh*t like that. We really seriously loved each other."

    The reasons you give for the break up don't seem very compelling.

    • I agree with this guy

    • I filled up the whole text space. There's a crapload more to it. But you're right. Her family I believe is what really brought us down. They loved me, but didn't like my lack of ambition. She ended falling for their opinion also, but it was stupid, 'cause we're so young.

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What Girls Said 2

  • It sounds like your ex has a lot of problems: anger issues, an alcohol addiction, and she clearly doesn't know who she is yet. Furthermore, she probably slept with that dude because she was heartbroken over breaking up with you. Yes, you sound like a wonderful, reliable, trustworthy boyfriend. But I don't think that you alone can provide her all the resources she will need to set her life straight. She needs to focus on getting good grades, maybe see a therapist, and find herself a good role model. Does she have any siblings?

    • She has anger issues, and she doesn't know who she is yet, you're very right! But she only drinks alcohol because of her friends, around where I am, that's all there is.. alcohol. There's no such thing as sober fun anymore. She didn't sleep with the guy I'm sure. She came home really early, and she's not that type of girl. May seem like it from the description, but she's a great girl. And thanks! I appreciate that comment. =) And yes, she has an older brother and sister.

    • Oh, and also we didn't feel the sense of being heart-broken when we did, because we were still so close, and there was a big chance we'd be together again. But again, it may not seem like it from my post, but she's an amazing girl. It's just that she's so confused about everything. I feel like her guide, you know?

  • first off, what she did was horrible and unexcusable, I'm so sorry you're going through a heart-break, but it's only understandable that you would feel this way. but I agree with luvbiddy, your ex has a LOT of issues that she needs to deal with and can only deal with those on her own, and it does sound like she needs professional therapy.

    and for you, it seems she is only doing you harm right now. you should put yourself first and move on from her. I know it's so difficult because you love her and want to see her be happy and do good in life, but your own emotional well being should be your priority. and you'll get over her with time, I promise.

    you sound like a very good man, find a good, stable, mature women who is deserving of your rare qualities.

    • Yeah.. I appreciate the nice comments. And yeah, we're still best friends, only because I know she has problems, and I have her best interest at heart. Besides, I'm not that type of guy. I think that should go for every woman, and for anyone that has a problem. I've been trying to get my mind straight, but it's impossible. The pain is too strong for me to conquer and ignore. Time is going to have to do it's job on this one. I'm just glad she knows how much she did wrong to me.

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    • jacquesvol, Unless I don't remember myself saying that I broke up with her, I didn't break up with her. We ended coming down to that decision ourselves. But even though, when you look at it from your perspective, sure seems like nothing, but you wouldn't know what it's like on my side of the story. Everything I did for her was shot after that. Devoting two years of my life into making her happy wasn't easy you know. Can't say everything I did here. I got extreme heartache for a reason, you know.

    • jacquesvol, I understand where you're coming from, but you're also getting the wrong idea, it wasn't like that. She didn't get "dumped". And you also made it seem like her drinking was normal. It wasn't at all. She shoved me away from her life, because her friend didn't really like me, because of my "conservative" personality I suppose. So she didn't talk to me for about 3 weeks. I never included when she tossed me aside in the question. Big part. Thanks for reading jacquesvol. Appreciate it!

What Guys Said 2

  • If she broke up with you, what's the point of her hooking up with another guy? Shouldn't she do that only to prove to herself she's still hot after YOU dump her? If it happened the other way around, what's the point?

  • sounds like you chose a classy lady. not.


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