The father of my unborn child has a new girlfriend, do I have the right to be upset? (Page 3)
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You have a right to be upset. That is really awful what he is doing. But I don't think you should go complain to his work. If I where you I wouldn't even spend the energy on him anymore. You cannot count on him so you should try to be as independent as possible and if you need help then seek it in others.
Girl. You aren't together anymore. Your situation sucks and I feel for you, but you can't control his life. All you can do is make him decide whether he's going to act like a father or not.
Perfect answer :)
You have a right to be upset. If he claimed you as a significant other or what ever then yes you should notify the navy you and him are no longer together especially if your in navy housing. Definetly take him to court for child support. However he is not worth you being upset if hell get you pregnant and leave.
Dont go after his work, yeah he's a dick, but you dont go and destroy his life! Especially if he's in the military. You get a dishonourable discharge from the military, good luck. Not that he would over this but, yknow.
Dont be petty.
Get the child support payments, that should be enough. Its his perogative if he wants to be a dad or just the sperm donor.
I agree that she shouldn't go after his work, but he's military.. taht should NEVER be a free pass to be a bad person. We should expect more from those in the military, not less. We should never set teh bar lower because they are "just military" and can't handle being adults like normal people, they should be treated equally.
@scottalanmiller I never meant he's military as in this is to be expected, i mean he's military as in it would hurt MORE to lose his job, than if he were in, say, retail or construction
I see, I suppose, but still that's his choice and he should be treated equally, not get treated differently for taking a job that punishes people more dramatically. She shouldn't go after him in any case, but I think that he's military should simply be ignore. Treat him the same as anyone else.
I'm acctually so sorry to hear that... how sad. I'm sure you were hopig he'd give it another try when you were pregnant. Logically he should have tried everything to make it work between you. I don't think it's necessarilly wrong to call his work. I known a few people who've done that. The question is however: What would it bring? Try to think of that beautiful baby and yorself, and if your ex is gone, I''m sure you'll find another nice guy in time :)
You have a right to be upset but he also has a right to move on and get a new girlfriend. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being sad about that, especially if he's neglecting the baby you're having together.
She's not sad she's acting jealous. She has no ownership over him anymore.
@Caaarl Not saying she’s not jealous. She is. She’s also a scared single person about to have a baby. It’s less important to criticise her than to empathise with her situation.
@Caaarl I can't believe how many people think human brains work according to some book. So when your parents die you can't be sad, because you knew they were going to die before you. Or if you have a car accident you can't be upset, because you know the statistics.
@Amandaå123 There's a huge difference between just being upset and calling your exes work to get him fired because you're upset that he is with another woman.
He's your ex for what reason? Was the break up pre or post pregnancy?
I do believe you have the right to be upset , of course you do. But this is a complicated matter. Are you saying you might need an abortion? What does you mean you aren't sure of the baby's health?
WTF? he's neglecting you? He doesn't owe you any of his time!!! You aren't together anymore. Get that through you head, and now you call his work to what get him into trouble? Because you ruined your own health stressing over a man who isn't yours? This is jealousy in the worst kind of way. You should be ashamed of behavior like that. You made the mistake of getting pregnant just as much as he did. Stop acting like your a victim of tragic circumstances.
Um... no. he's your ex, he has no obligation to stay single just because you (his ex) are pregnant. The only way you would have the right to be upset is if he was seeing this girl while you two were still together. Also. Maybe the reason why he wasn't talking to you (that's what I'm assuming you mean by neglect) is because he's in the navy. Most jobs in the navy can be stressful.
You shouldn't bring his work into it, BUT you should think about getting into some therapy. If your baby dies from the stress or emotional whiplash and you know that its causing problems, then the death of that child, will be on you. Not the a**hat that hit it and quit it.
Be strong, hun, things can be treated for the better. But only with your effort.
who broke up with who? Not hat it excuses him treating his unborn child poorly.. But if are broke up, and he doesn't like you.. the worst thing he could do is the "Right Thing" and continue to be together for the baby.. its really the wrong thing.. I am sorry you are having a hared time, but you are much better off not trying to get back together. Good luck love..
No right but it's understandable in your condition. You guys aren't together so the only person he owes is the child. I suggest you proceed patiently reasonably with caution if you want him back or if you just want him involved in your child's life or if you need finacial help raising the child. You don't want to drive him away.
Many men wish badly to be in their child's life but the courts and mother make that impossible, they would give anything to be there. Once hostile it's unlikely she'll get much regardless of how much is deserved. However you are correct, he does share responsibility for raising the child and ideally she can find a way to have him do so.
Most importantly in my humble opinion is that the child's future is protected and secure. Children develop best with a stable nuclear family, this can be replicated even if they don't get back together but it requires that someone step up and take full responsibility for the child's development by providing a mother figure and a father figure, a split home is not ideal nor is a single parent as it makes it so much harder to properly raise the child.
Of all the responses yours is one of the best, softer and more empathetic than mine but also logical and realistic.
Well, my dear, it is okay to be upset, its understandable. That is your baby daddy and he doesn't want you anymore. Don't be the notorious ex girlfriend, his work has nothing to do with this. If you want some child support, take it to court. but he's moved on and he's probably not coming back, you have to accept it so you can move on too. Plus, you shouldn't want him to come back anyways! What a jerk!
Fuck you. Just because he knocked you up doesn't mean he has to stop his life and be with you. Go fuck yourself for even considering complaining to his work about this shit. You're a horrible person.
From experience. The navy is not gonna do anything. Because you are not married.
You have the right to be upset. But, remember you are pregnant. And your emotions are at a all time high. You have to figure out at away to not let it bother you. Trust me easier said than done.
The mother of my child and I broke up when she was 8 months. She started dating again recently. And our son is 2 months. It hurts. But I am dealing with it. You got this.
The Navy will assist in enforcing child support orders. She has to go through channels and she has to have a court order in place.
You have every right to be upset, and if you want to call his work, do so. The military doesn't take kindly to "running around", so to speak.
That said, remember to be constructive in your actions. It may be very easy to call them with a sense of vengeance, but please just stop first and think about whether or not doing so may benefit you and/or your child. If you find the answer is no, you're better off just letting go.
Sure you can be upset but if you weren't official can't expect a child to make it official or to make him settle down or prioirtize you. Focus on your kid and keeping him involved with the kid forget your feelings you can move on easily same as him but that child will always long for a fatherly love and care.
Pregnancy is stressful and challenging and it's a time when you need a supportive partner. Unfortunately, you two broke up long before you got pregnant. He has no responsibilities to you until you need child support payments.
What the f*ck are you on about? He's the father how did they break up long before she got pregnant?
What the fuck I'm on about is that I actually read the question. Try reading it and pay particular attention to the first sentence.
Yes they had been together for more than a year as she got pregnant
"I’m 6 months pregnant with my ex of over a year.", meaning they'd been split for over a year, but she got pregnant six months ago. If she meant something besides this, then yes that obviously changes everything. I don't know the original poster, I'm just going off of what she said
aa yeah if thats the case then its a bit of another story
If you two were broken up than it is normal to not like it (do you want to get back together and be a family?) but he's not really betrayed you.
If you were still a couple and he's cheating on you than yes.
That's revenge born of anger.
It sounds to me like he's no more than a sperm donor and should be seen as such.
You're wasting your time stressing on him.