Why is my ex texting me if he has a new girlfriend? I'm still in love with him :( HELP!

I broke up with my ex of 1 year because he cheated on me. I am still very in love with him and he didn't want to break up but was treating me too casually. He got a new girlfriend within 4 weeks. It's been 3 months since we broke up. He met her after me. He put it all over facebook, pics of her and him. I deleted him. I still see comments sometimes about how "in love" they seem and she says "how lucky she is and how good he is to her" they live in diff cities and only see each other on weekends. In burns and burns and burns because all I ever wanted was for him to be good to me. I ignored his contact for 2 months, lately I casually reply because I don't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing I know he has a gf! But he texts I miss you, and here's a pic for old times sake, I have the best pics of you, you're hot and beautiful, get out of my head, can't stop thinking of you, hope you're doing well and similar stuff. I talked to him once and he said he can't say I'm not the one for him, he doesn't think we should have ever broken up. But that was a month ago but the recent contact is the texts. What's the go? If he has a girlfriend why is he still messaging me? And why is he treating her so well :( it burns :( I'm so not over it, I love him a lot but I've NEVER initiated any contact with him. He moves in a month to another city further from this girl and I wonder if they are so serious she'll move to be with him. Haven't gotten over it at all, I miss him and can't believe he went with someone else so soon though I made it clear at the time he'd cheated on me and I wasn't coming back. There's bad break ups and then there's bad break ups. He's the one who cheated but is now has a girlfriend and on facebook acting so in love! Well more so her. Please help, I want to feel better life is so painful right now. Thanks :) xo


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12

Most Helpful Guy

  • Several was to interpret this. So I'll give a list of what I think, you can choose from those, or maybe someone will think of something better.

    Some people will have animosity towards their ex because of the way things went. They were caught cheating, ex broke up with them, and now their pissed. Why? Who knows... its their fault, but they'll see it like their the victim, right? SO anyway... he "apparently" was able to move on by getting a new girlfriend. With that, he still would text you and such. I see this as a form of getting under your skin. Since it was all over facebook and such, I'm sure he knows damn well that you know he has a girlfriend, and by asking you if you have a boyfriend, its like checking up on you to see if you moved on, while at the same time, reminding you that he did. It can also be his way of keeping you from being happy. Playing mind games with you so that you're left guessing and are unable to move one, while he does what he wants.

    I doubt that he has any true and genuine emotion for you, after all he cheated on you, and was able to find a new date within the month. If he cared deeply, he wouldn't have cheated, nor would he have moved on so quickly. She could quite possibly be just a rebound, but that doesn't account for the fact that he still cheated.

    He cheated once, so he can cheat again, which seems pretty ideal in a case like this where he could still be dating his new chick and saying he misses you. He could have quite possibly realized that he f*cked up by cheating on you, but he still hasn't matured if he's expressing all of this while still with the other girl. He doesn't see her often as I think you said somewhere in the question above, so he might have interest on cheating on her with you, " https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdhhQhqi_AE !" which wouldn't make you any better if you went along with that. So it may be a form of dragging you down with him.

    There could be a number of reasons, but I can't think of a reason that would be "good" and "awww." I'd just stop talking to him. Move on and get over him, as I don't think he's worth it. When he says, "I miss you," you reply, "I don't." Then don't reply back. Keep your head up and eyes open for another guy that may catch your attention, and start over. One day he'll ask you if you have a boyfriend, and you'll be able to say, "yes, now if you don't mind, f*ck off. K thanks." (k, you don't have to be that rude, but it does feel nice sometimes >=D )

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What Guys Said 1

  • If you ever did get back with him could you trust him after cheating..? I know I wouldnt, I never would. Not matter how much you love him, If a girl cheated on me, I could never trust her ever again

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What Girls Said 1

  • I feel for you :/ My guy (who had cheated twice) I was dating for about 3 years. He never stopped initiating contact/flirty texts with me even after he jumped into a relationship with someone else. He never pulled away or indicated a break up; he never stopped being affectionate with me... a week after the last time I saw him, she tagged him in a relationship on Facebook and that's how I found out! After 3 months I finally deleted him because it was killing me, her posting pics all over him (and she doesn't even know he's still contacting/flirty with me every few weeks he texts me). Ever since then, he apologized, even wanted to hang out again, and has continued contact, "checking up" on me, saying nice things and reminding me of our good times. At first his contact felt good after how shitty he made me feel to jump into a "real" relationship with someone he hardly knew... the more I think bout it, it seems like guys just do that to make themselves feel better and to "soften" the blow toward us. Sure, they had great times with us and enjoyed our company; there's no reason to cut us off completely. The fact is, it's not healthy and only makes it harder for us to move on. He didn't pick you, he picked her. We need to pick someone else too--only one who cares as much as we do. There are still good guys out there who would never hurt us like this and will treat us the way we deserve. I still love mine too but realized just because you love or miss someone, doesn't mean they should be in your life. It was a learning experience. Guys like that will not change. Would you like it if you were his gf and he was contacting his ex like that? No! Just seeing how he's interacting behind her back shows his character. He will cheat again. As much as I miss him, I just remind myself the grief he's caused and how he is forever untrustworthy :( Even if he did come back, I could never trust him again. Hope these thoughts will help you too.

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