If you happen to like and date someone whos divorced, is it wrong to ask them why they are divorced?

[Anonymous]

Yes it's personal

No I have a right to know

I wouldn't date someone who's divorced anyway

[Chris_7565]

It depends.
You have to understand that some people got hurt really bad. Marriages don't end well.
If I'm dating someone new the last thing I want to do is get into talking about 15 years of history with another woman. It's depressing, and most of the time there isn't just one reason that a marriage ends. There's a whole series of things that add up due to them being incompatible.
I usually just tell women that we had some great years together but the relationship ran it's course and it didn't work out. Now I'm excited to focus on us and OUR future together. I'm probably not going to go into great details about all the past relationship drama because I don't really want to relive it, and I do feel like some stuff is personal especially if it's between me and my ex and has nothing to do with my current relationship. Divorces are traumatic for some people. It's a delicate topic.

[OlderAndWiser]

It is not wrong to want to know but, if you wait, most people will eventually tell you. Be patient and your patience will be rewarded.

[LazerBean]

The whole point of dating someone is to find out if you two are compatible. If they won't disclose certain information then it's totally justified to move on.

[Lyndsielee666]

I’d ask just cause I’m not trying to be another abusive ass relationship

[Whatever2929292]

I don't think it is wrong but asking it too soon might cause a problem. Personally I don't like someone I just met asking me personal questions like that I just want to get to know her and her to know me and we bring this stuff up naturally when we feel ready to

[Asker]

Well it's better to know sooner rather than later.

[Whatever2929292]

I guess Asker I am just saying that I don't like someone I just met asking me super personal questions right off the bat. I don't have a problem with someone who is divorced (though it might concern me as to WHY someone got a divorce)

I have never been divorced though

[Asker]

If you're divorced and you want to take things further with a girl who's never eve been married I think she has every right to know some stuff

[Whatever2929292]

Yea if you are going to take things further... I am speaking personally. I don't like it and it makes me feel uncomfortable and might make me loose interest. Maybe not all guys. Later on down the road yea... That makes sense

[Asker]

If this makes a guy lose interest then so be it😬

[Whatever2929292]

I said later down the road it is fine.. But you aren't going to "take things further" on the first date most of the time unless it goes really well.

Yea I think you should know this stuff at some point don't get me wrong but

[exitseven]

I think that if it gets serious it might be okay to ask. I dated a girl who was divorced and I never knew why she got divorced. I suspect it was because he cheated on her,

[Guy13]

I would ask. And, I would expect you to ask…if serious about relationship.

[Asker]

Exactly

[maximumpower]

its a very personal question.
may want to bring it up if your relationship is going somewhere; however, asking prior to that is essentially prying. be prepared for the fallout.

[Asker]

What's the point of bringing it up later on.. after feelings get involves and you find out they actually cheated on their former spouse. Better to find out sooner rather than later.

[Asker]

*involved

[maximumpower]

ok - then go ahead and ask, but again, be prepared for the fallout.

[Asker]

I'm cool with it.

[maximumpower]

good luck.

[Chris_7565]

Maybe just ask specifically if he ever cheated on anyone.
That way you can get a straight up answer to what you want to know without pressuring him to basically analyse him marriage and explain it.

[Asker]

@Chris_7565 I'm pretty sure most guys wouldn't admit to this to a girl they're interested in lol.

[Chris_7565]

If he's a liar that's correct.
By that logic there's no point in asking a man or a woman's history because they can just lie.
You're always better off to pay attention and judge your partners by their current actions and how they treat you.

[AviatorTom]

You can ask, but don't be surprised if they don't want to talk about it... and you should respect that.

[jamesgoldman]

I probably wouldn't at least too early on but then I'd be more interested in buying their wedding ring, engagement ring and eternity ring if they have/had one

[ChrisMaster69]

It’s perfectly fine.

how you ask is important, also nothing wrong with asking early.

[altdbob]

You can ask anything, just be prepared that you may not like the answer or how it is delivered or even for them to say it is none of your Fucking business

[Stevefiveo]

I don't think it's an unreasonable question.

[JoyGirl]

You have a right to know why.

[jahaims]

Time is valuable, you can ask whatever you want