I initiated the breakup 2 days ago, and I want to essentially know when I am going to stop feeling regretful and horrible. I miss him now more than ever, even when we were still together but would go without seeing each other for weeks. I feel like I broke his heart and I start to cry when I imagine him crying in his room missing me, and I never intended for that. The day we broke up I explained to him that we are on really different paths and the things I want him to do are not things he is willing to do (go to therapy, get a job, be more romantic, etc). I feel like I had to end it because of too many small things piling on top of each other that it did not feel genuine to stay in the relationship. On the day of the breakup we both cried and he I noticed a new scar on him, and he admitted that he did it to himself, which made me break down. Seeing this on top of him telling me I am the only one for him and seeing someone I love so much breaking down in front of me shattered my heart and its all I can think about. I feel so guilty and full of remorse. I can't stop thinking of all the good memories and laughs we had which is making it hard to think of the bad times and all the cries I had within the relationship. He was my first boyfriend, took my virginity, and the first person I said I love you to and we have been with each other for 22 months. I want to reach out to him and check up on him, but I don't know if he wants space. I promised that we can still be friends, and I want to keep that promise but I don't know when is the appropriate time to reach out, so that we are both somewhat healed. How do I get over this pain, or at least learn how to cope with it. I wanted him to be the one for me and my person, but I just feel like he disappointed me over and over again.
How to stop feeling horrible after a break up?
