Am I in the wrong for divorcing my wife when she had an abortion behind my back while we were trying to conceive?

[Anonymous]

The question speaks for its self. My wife and I, she is 29, and I am 37, have been attempting to conceive for about 6 months, she told me that her major goal in life was to be a good mom. She got pregnant, did not tell me, and she aborted it behind my back. I only found out because I saw that my insurance paid for it. I confronted her and she lied about it, so I showed her the insurance paperwork. I asked why she did it and she told me it was none of my business. One week later I had her served with divorce papers. She's now couch surfing with her friends as I kicked her from my home (which has been mine since before I met her).

Am I in the wrong here?

[OlderAndWiser]

Dude, she aborted - most likely - for one of two reasons:

1. She really doesn't want to have a child and told you those things only because that's what you wanted to hear.

2. She aborted the pregnancy because it was not your child and she thought you would discover her unfaithfulness eventually.

Those are the two mosrt logical explanations. In either case, yes, she should have discussed it with you and if I was you, I could not imagine continuing to be in a relationship with her.

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[HighValue]

You are in the right.

1. She was being deceptive and dishonest. She possible didn't really want kids and is leading you on.

2. If you two were trying to have kids and she had an abortion, I'd suspect that she cheated, found out that it wasn't yours, and then had an abortion to hide it.

Those are the only two logical reasons I can think of. Either way I think it was a good idea to leave her over it.

[HighValue]

You may want to switch any financial accounts and property, vehicles, etc. into your parents' name temporarily until the divorce is finalized to protect yourself if you didn't have a prenuptial agreement in place.

[alice55]

No, you can literally divorce her for any reasons you want and won't be in the bad side but I'm really confused on why she did this.

[Asker]

I am as well, I can only guess that it might be from an affair she was having, but she gave no signs or red flags. I'm just lost here.

[alice55]

That's actually possible yes, maybe they were some but you didn't saw it? Majority of men don't see the red flag.

[LazerBean]

Nope, the whole woman goes into the dumpster.

[Asker]

Love your responses, always.

[Reaper1985]

sounds like she either got knocked up by someone else or lied about wanting children. because if it was something like a medical issue then why try to cover it up in the first place. seems rather foolish of her to put it on your insurance plan and not expect you to be notified as well. considering something like that is often not fully covered by most plans meaning she would have had to cover the rest or you got the bill for it.

[Sirenboobzilla]

I'm all for choice, but you're not in the wrong. Honestly to me it sounds like she either lied about wanting to be a mom, or cheated and got pregnant off of someone else and tried to hide it

[AviatorTom]

You are not wrong. What she did is despicable but more importantly, what she did (especially the "it's none of your business") is an indication that you and she did not have a relationship. It's good to end it.

[sw1916]

I would’ve done the same thing. You’re not wrong. And her lack of explanation is very alarming. She’s not an honest person.

[tzdc21]

Nope. I would have done the same exact thing. She screwed up by not telling you she was pregnant and wanted an abortion, and then I'm top of that lied to your face about it afterwards. You weren't in the wrong at all. She was.

[CA4444]

Wth… definitely not wrong…