Why would my ex tell me he’s lonely and depressed?

[Anonymous]

He broke up with me months ago and I’ve begged and I be tried my absolute hardest to get him back but disregarded my feelings and my efforts.

He always has these random low points where I’ll just ignore him and cut contact with him and he will tell me how he’s depressed and lonely and like I feel like we’ll hello? I’m here but I don’t think it’s me that he wants and he tells me it is but if it is why can’t he commit to me?

Life should be easy no he has someone in front of him willing to be the best for him and it’s like I’m nothing.

Any ideas why he goes up and down with his so called depression..

[Screenwriter]

Your ex tells you he's lonely and depressed BECAUSE he IS!!! It sounds like he has CLINICAL DEPRESSION and needs therapy and medication.

Depressed people are not concerned with anyone else's feelings but THEIR OWN. They can't SEE or DO anything for anyone else. You need to understand this.

Life is NOT EASY for anyone with a mental illness. He DOES NOT SEE YOU. He only sees his personal problems. Find someone who will appreciate you and stop hanging around for this guy who is USING YOU.

He goes up and down because he is going through cycles of depression and it is untreated by a medical professional and he refuses to get treatment. You can't help him.

Help YOURSELF and find new people to be with who are healthy. He isn't. Good luck.

[Asker]

This makes so much sense thank you but can I ask why he lies to me and tells me he cares and only wants me when that is not the case?

[Screenwriter]

It isn't because he doesn't care for you AT ALL. But his caring involves his illness. He cares for you because you're enabling him by being a substitute therapist. You listen to him whining. He cares and wants THAT from you. That's the most love and care you're going to get from him because he's ill.

Let's flip this script. Imagine he's an alcoholic. Would you trust ANYTHING he said to you while he's DRUNK? It's the same with his mental illness. He'll say anything to keep you ON THE HOOK and at his beck and call.

Cut him off and get happy with new friends and a person who has a true ability to love you fully.

[Asker]

I appreciate your reply and I know your right. He only cares about him self it’s not that he tells me his problems he just tells me he’s tired constantly. I really hope one day things will look up for me. As the past 8 months have been so brutal and it’s hard to see the light while it seems he’s living his best life care free. That’s what’s really bugging me but I suppose time heals everything

[Asker]

And I don’t believe he’s Ill at all. I think he’s just moved on in life as to why he texts me the odd time maybe it’s him checking in to see am I still alive I don't know

[Wise4myage]

He's looking for some sympathy.

[Asker]

Sympathy for what tho he broke up with me

[Wise4myage]

No, he realizes he made a huge mistake.

[Asker]

No he doesn’t as I told him I wanted to be with him and he said he wanted baby steps and I said that’s not fair and he sees that as him being good to me

[Wise4myage]

Then maybe he just wants someone to talk too?

[Asker]

I don’t know as he’s plenty of other females he talks too I just wish he leave me alone I’ve asked him too so many times because all he’s doing is hurting me

[Wise4myage]

Then block him.

[Asker]

I know

[Screenwriter]

So, he has a BEVY of therapists!! BLOCK HIM and get on with a happy life. Grieve and cry in your beer and talk to a therapist. You are Far too invested in this sad sack who's not only using YOU, but every woman he knows. UGH!!!