I got ghosted by this guy a week ago out of the blue. He came on pretty strong and was nearly telling me everything about himself. The first thing he mentioned was that he had a son and introduced his friends to me. I won't lie i wasn't into him at first because i had broken up with an ex one month ago. Feelings changed and i became into him. What made me became into him was, we were hanging out one day he smelled and looked really good. But shortly after this day it went downhill. I wouldn't say he stopped talking to me out of the blue because the day before he ghosted, he stopped texting me mid day and was taking too long to reply back. So i could tell it was coming. I dont know what happened and im afraid to text him back. I already seen him in person recently and thought he was going to talk to me but passed me up. Well i haven't heard from him since a week but his friends still crowd around me to talk to me. Sometimes he sees his friends talking to me and i can see him trying to avoid coming over where we are. Its like he hasn't told his friends he ghosted me. i dont want to tell them either cause of how embarrassing it is.
What you "should" do is for sure closing with him in your mind.
Ghosting is anyway a psychological abuse and it reflects the lack of responsibility of the ghoster, in general, who doesn't have the minimal maturity to tell you how things are and to face possible discussions. A comfy solution that is also very well known to be painful, but somehow socially accepted by some who share the same cowardice. The fact it's diffuse doesn't change the fact it hurts and makes people overthink, and it gives a bad impression of you (ghoster) anyway. So for me this is a red flag already that speaks about someone's ability to face situations that could lead to conflicts (and this is a crucial feature for any relationship).
Second thing is: if a man wants to proceed with you, they really let you know that. Don't fall in the trap to think he is playing hard to get on purpose or that he is too shy. He didn't have any reason to play hard to get, because you ended up meeting anyway, and he has friends and came strong to you so these aren't definitely the cases: he changed his mind about you and doesn't want to continue with you. So you should not continue in your mind as well.
What made him change his mind? When a guy changes all of a sudden without any reason you can pinpoint, most likely he is focusing on another girl and things got more engaged with her in that mid day you mentioned. You're not exclusive to each other and potentially any guy you date has also other female contacts ready they're chatting with. If they choose you, you won't notice, but all the other active female contacts will notice a sudden change, silence, lack of interest. This time you were one of these.
The chosen woman could be even an ex who came back to them, or an online-only contact, and whatnot. Were they better than you? Not necessarily.
Of course there could be also the chance that he lost interest for other reasons like: you became suddenly very clingy and granted to him, displaying all strong symptoms of a desperate crush on his regards, or, he got to know something really bad about you through someone else, really really bad to the point he got completely turned off for the dealbreaker. But if you can't pinpoint, most likely I'd go for another girl scenario.
What should you do with his friends? If you enjoy their company, they are just new people to talk with. They're not "his", not his property, you can totally develop bonds with them independently, as if he doesn't exist, if you vibe well together. Just don't use them as a way to shittalk him or get small revenges of this sort.
Also, a rule for the future: guys who come pretty strong, leave also pretty strong. If they are so "comfortable" to tell you all their life all of a sudden, probably it's not such a big deal for them to talk about that, afterall, and they're not "investing" with that. As easy as leaving... And as easy as coming back when they see you moving on or dating someone else, sometimes. Don't let him, if he does.
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i'm gonna guess that it has to do with the mother of his son? maybe?
anyway, you can continue being friends with his friends but if it's too much of a reminder of him, then you need to protect your mental health and just remove yourself from that friend group.
also, another thing, you NEED closure from this ghoster. you need to know WHY he is doing these things in order for you to move on. so ask him what's up and then say you'll part ways after he gives an explanation. he needs to be a man and not take the cowards way out.
Sometimes things don't work out as we hoped. To cut the losses and move forward is often best.
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Date the friend?
Hit on his friends, lol.
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