I have been dating a man 12 years older the me for a year and few months now. In that time he has had little finanical stability, when we started he even asked me for rent money. I don't like the way he manages his money so I have maintained the boundary of not lending.
Income changes I understand that but this man lets bills pile up and important documents expire. He has no career, no continued education, and inconsistent work experiences (part of why I believe he's been unemployed for most of the year)
There is also a language barrier so I have to help him do thing like go to doctors or dentists etc. I have fed him when he doesn't have enough money for groceries but I'm getting tired of it. I am always truthful with him, I've expressed all these concerns, nothing really seems to change. I broke up once with him and he kept messaging insisting he wanted to be with me, he even heated up a knife and burned himself because of the break up.
He has however been the best relationship I have had communication and intimacy wise. He treats me respectfully and with patience. Because of him I have raised my standards of how I want to be treated in relationship but I want more. I want the communication, sexual connection, respect and financial stability.
Am I being superficial is 1 year a few months to hasty to end things. Should I consider giving him more time to organize himself?
Also (so one cam understand his prespective) when I met him I was still talking to my ex, which I had informed both of them about the other, ended things with my ex focused on him. There was no progress in his work or living situation (he has a literal roommate, 2 beds in 1 room) and now I have a old fling (who's 8000+km away) I met before him messaging me. I like to flirt and I am in no rush to start a new relationship but the idea of something different is enticing. This other man has work and private space, I have considered getting to know him better.
Income changes I understand that but this man lets bills pile up and important documents expire. He has no career, no continued education, and inconsistent work experiences (part of why I believe he's been unemployed for most of the year)
There is also a language barrier so I have to help him do thing like go to doctors or dentists etc. I have fed him when he doesn't have enough money for groceries but I'm getting tired of it. I am always truthful with him, I've expressed all these concerns, nothing really seems to change. I broke up once with him and he kept messaging insisting he wanted to be with me, he even heated up a knife and burned himself because of the break up.
He has however been the best relationship I have had communication and intimacy wise. He treats me respectfully and with patience. Because of him I have raised my standards of how I want to be treated in relationship but I want more. I want the communication, sexual connection, respect and financial stability.
Am I being superficial is 1 year a few months to hasty to end things. Should I consider giving him more time to organize himself?
Also (so one cam understand his prespective) when I met him I was still talking to my ex, which I had informed both of them about the other, ended things with my ex focused on him. There was no progress in his work or living situation (he has a literal roommate, 2 beds in 1 room) and now I have a old fling (who's 8000+km away) I met before him messaging me. I like to flirt and I am in no rush to start a new relationship but the idea of something different is enticing. This other man has work and private space, I have considered getting to know him better.
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1 y
He also frequntly asks me "when are you going to move me in" amd says its a joke but my gut says he really wants me to let him move into my space
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