Break Up & Divorce

Is she not ready for a relationship/avoidant/not interested?

Anonymous

I’ve been seeing this girl from work (we still have to talk everyday) and things were going well. We talked loads about our future together, I stayed at her place, her friends and family knew about me and I started catching feelings.

She recently broke it off unexpectedly saying she isn’t ready for a relationship because she’s scared it will end badly but agreed to meet me for a talk. She said I make her feel so nervous, giddy and safe and hugged me for ages looking at me with those puppy dog eyes before leaving so I know she likes me. She said before meeting she hadn’t been able to stop crying and feels bad about ending it with me.

It turns out her ex from last year is still bothering her and she says she doesn’t feel anything for him anymore but he has been threatening to kill himself if she doesn’t get back with him - even though she won’t and she offered me her phone to show that there is no one else in the picture.

Since then I’ve asked for a chance to take things slow, I’m happy to not have labels and just want to see where things take us but she outright shut me down again saying she doesn’t want to make time for someone at the moment so I said I’ll leave her be as hard as it is.

Just a few days ago, she called my mobile while we were both at work (this could’ve been an email) and I got my hopes up thinking she was going to ask to see me but it was only a question about work where she seemed completely fine and shut off. She stated it was easier than calling me on teams (video).

I’m very confused - does she just not want a relationship? Is she scared of how she feels about me? Does she want to keep me stringing along while she figures it out? Is she a head fuck? I have told her I cannot go back to being her friend due to how far this has gone.

Thanks for reading!

Is she not ready for a relationship/avoidant/not interested?
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