My boyfriend broke up with my this morning after we got into an argument. So about a week ago communication had gone downhill with him. He wasn't contacting me and I had to call him. He told me it was bc he was extremely tired from working OT but haven't lost interest. But when he realized my concern the communication went back up. Yesterday he didn't call me in the morning while he was at work like always but I texted him which made him call me. We talked on the phone for a hour but I told him I was going out to eat with my mom. He refused to believe it was my mother and that it was another guy. But I explained it the best i could but I could tell he still didn't believe me. We talked before he got another call and had to go. He told me he was going to get back to me shortly after he got off work. I didn't hear him from him rest of day. This morning I was hoping he would call but nothing. About a few days ago I let him use my brand new Netflix account because he's paying for Hulu and other subscriptions. So I was nice enough to let him use it. He told me he wanted my account just to watch one movie and a few other things. So today, as a conversation starter, I asked him was he done with my account. He gets mad right away and tells me to take it cause since I'm rushing him and he hasn't been home in days to watch anything really. (But when I log into the account it does show some movies have been watched). So I asked him why hasn't he been home and he didn't say anything. Then I asked again and he just said he doesn't have time to argue with me. Next, I tell him since he doesn't want to be in my life im taking my account back and giving it to someone that does. He calls me and yelling at me asking what is he doing wrong and that he is confused on why I'm acting the way I am. He assumes that I'm making excuses to dump him to be with someone else and that he's going to do it for me. So he told me to lose his number and to never ever contact him again. Then blocked me.
I think I ruined the relationship, was it my fault?
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It sounds like he either has his eyes on someone else or already engaging with them. The biggest sign of that is when they are almost literally trying to convince you that you’re the one cheating or doing wrong when it’s actually them. Then his method of breaking up was to gaslight by making it as though you’re the one at fault and justify dumping you. Now look, you’re feeling sick with guilt and internalizing his talking points. Don’t do that to yourself. There were some clear fluctuations in his behavior towards you and I’m sure he notices but doesn’t take accountability. You can do so much better than that.
well this wasn't the first time. i accused him several time of talking to other girls and he thinks that since im accusing him so much that im really doing it.
Well, im definitely not a fan of finger pointing. Whether it’s you or him, without solid proof then it’s wrong to make such accusations. Maybe this break up is for the better, so you can focus on yourself and healing your past. No one likes being accused of this or that, and if you’re insecure to that degree then you don’t want to take that trait into the next relationship.
Your relationship sounds like it was dry rotting from within by lack of trust, forgiveness and truth. But without trust a relationshipis dead in the water.
You best run before you experience a repeat of this disaster. He'll calm down -> apologize -beg you to return - at least until the next disagreement or slight.
partially your fault, yes