He and I talked on the phone every day and even 3 hours two nights ago. Then today he ignored my call. Why the sudden change?

[Anonymous]

So my ex and I broke up about three months ago. Long distance so mutual. I went no contact for a month. Then reached out and things were going well again as friends. He is currently in my state for work. He was suddenly really responsive and like I said, talked on the phone for hours.

Yet today, he let the call go to voicemail which he never does, then when he called back, he was very short and had to go.

Just confused.

Updates

1 y

THANK YOU everyone so far! I appreciate the non-judgmental responses.

[Anonymous]

While I do agree with everyone about not panicking and maybe he’s just busy, I wonder if it’s deeper than that. I’ve never overthought my boyfriend (I know he isn’t your man, just generalizing here lol) missing a call unless other things transpired previously. You said you two broke up, then it sounds like you’re the one that caved and reached back out. If he’s really just a friend you wouldn’t worry like this, so I don't know maybe you still want more? Maybe this fear is like concern that he’s slipping away and you don’t want to lose him. Especially if you didn’t really want to break up in the first place. My whole point is it’s probably a good idea to have a talk, get your mind cleared. Then you won’t be worrying about these things.

[Opinion Owner]

Also excuse my anonymity I’ve got a weird stalker under my posts otherwise lol.

[Asker]

You're right, I will always want more with him. Maybe not always, but for now. haha However the long distance will never change so there was nothing more to do in the situation. He actually reached out first. And I didn't respond for the first few times thinking maybe he was just lonely and looking for an ego boost. When I saw him putting in effort over the last month, I figured he truly wanted to be friends again

[Opinion Owner]

Gotcha, when you said ‘I went no contact for a month. Then reached back out’ it sounded like you caved first so i made the assumption lol totally fine if you didn’t. Anyway, I’m sure he will contact you soon but if this is for any reason him trying to take a step back, you may want to as well. If you think about it, how many friends do you talk to for hours on the phone and every day? Especially with work and stuff that’s a prioritization given to someone you’re dating or in a relationship with. Otherwise it’s hardly anything of the sort. I think by maintaining so much contact, it becomes hard to just be a friend. I couldn’t imagine trying to be friends with my current boyfriend if we’d newly broken up, that’s too painful. I guess there’s the aspect of like it’s better to have some of him than none of him at all, but at what cost, you know?

[IAmAzzurra]

He could have missed the call & that’s why it went to voicemail. If he is there for work, maybe he was caught in something to do with that

[Asker]

You are so right! I guess I got caught up in overthinking. He is there for work.

[goaded]

"He is currently in my state for *work*." Maybe he was busy.

Like @Iron_Man says, ask him, when you're sure he's got some time for you.

[Iron_Man]

Thanks

[Asker]

Yes, you both are right! And I was overthinking. If it were "just a girl friend of mine" i probably wouldn't have even thought anything of it.

[TheMadLad]

Don’t be clingy, clinginess ruins great relationships.

If you want a long distance relationship then you have to stop being clingy.

[Asker]

I needed this. We ended the relationship already, but I do truly miss the friendship.

[TheMadLad]

Correction: you missed the relationship.
Give it another chance, life is too short to not give someone a chance.

[Anonymous]

you said he was visiting your state for work. could he be busy with work? ?

[Iron_Man]

Why don’t you ask him?

[Asker]

I was caught up in overthinking! haha But you're right

[Iron_Man]

Thanks