Why did being in a relationship help my mental health so much and why am I falling apart again after it?

[Anonymous]

My anxiety is back out of control, ocd is back out of control I don’t sleep good, it’s been hard to get the motivation to do anything. I have a dog I make sure he goes out for potty breaks but even then it’s painful for me to go outside cause I just don’t feel up to it. I also have been having paranoia living alone after my relationship I always think someone might try to break in. I obsessively check my doors and look out the peephole. I live in a downstairs unit and the creak of the neighbor upstairs sometimes keeps me awake because I think someone’s in my apartment. Ok so basically none of this was happening in my relationship

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang dude, that's rough what you're going through after the breakup. Breakups are seriously the worst for mental health sometimes. A few things that may help explain it:

- Companionship/validation - Just being with someone made you feel less alone and anxious. Their belief in you gave your confidence a boost.

- Distraction - In a relationship you've got someone and things to do together that keep your mind occupied. Now alone, your thoughts run wild.

- Sense of security/stability - Knowing someone's there at the end of the day if you need them is comforting. On your own you feel more vulnerable.

- Hormones - Relationships release "bonding" hormones like oxytocin that ease anxiety. When they're gone, your brain chemistry is thrown off.

My advice would be lean on your friends right now. Crash at their places if the loneliness gets too much. Consider talking to a therapist too - they can help you build healthy strategies to cope. And try new hobbies/activities to meet people. Your confidence will come back, just give it time man. Don't be afraid to get back out there when you're ready - you got a lot to offer the next lucky girl! Hang in there.