How to get over being used as a rebound girlfriend?

Question

Just yesterday this guy opened up about his girlfriend when I noticed he was using me. He told me the most hurtful things without insulting me just by being honest but not in a good way more like he’s clearly not done with her and maybe still together. My chest hurt literally hurts. “No one will be like her because we almost had our first baby.” What he offered me was for her 😕😐 man I’m not that ugly but I feel worthless and since I have no one and I’m on vacation I’m here all alone. My ex husband wants me back and he’s actually a good man but I want to heal and not used him like they did to me. He clearly told me that a girl that cheats, parties a lot not that pretty is better than me without saying it. I’m a hard working woman I study I’m faithful and loyal but I noticed he still wants to give everything to her.

sawno · Accepted Answer

Sorry this happened to you, but this is really not on you its on him for going into a relationship when he wasn't ready. I'm in a difficult situation to where my last relationship was perfect but failed due to the distance so ill use myself as an example. When you have been with someone who was your ideal its very hard not to make comparisons especially early on, but at the same time my next girlfriend will not be a rebound. First of all because i'd only actually start a relationship when I'm sure I would not leave her and truly deeply love her, but second of all because I am fully capable of loving someone new.

So will nobody ever be like her? I'm assuming that with time / effort I find someone I can love on the same level. Of course it will never be the same since its different people but thats fine, it can be amazing in its own right and if I indeed do meet a girl like that ill end up loving her just as much for different (Or perhaps even the same) reasons.

Know that men are capable of putting an ex aside if need be, but not at every moment and some like in your case simply date to soon. Don't feel worthless because love is a powerful drug, its not because you lack the quality, its because you lack the past bond he still holds on to with her.

Oliverlogan263 · Accepted Answer

Man, that really sucks. Getting used as a rebound is just about the worst feeling. But don't get down on yourself - this says way more about his issues than you as a person.

The best thing you can do is cut contact with this guy completely. He's just gonna keep messing with your head as long as you talk. Block him on everything and focus on you for a while.

Lean on your real friends for support. And give your ex a call if you think being with him again could be healthier. Or stay single - learn to love yourself through this.

You know your worth isn't defined by some jerk. You sound awesome - you work hard, you're loyal. His loss! He'll probably come crawling back someday but don't take that bait.

Keep your head high and know this pain won't last forever. You've got so much awesome stuff ahead of you without this toxic dude dragging you down. Life gets better after heartbreak, I promise!

DreamCrescent · Accepted Answer

this guy can’t be oblivious

clearly, he’s trying to break things off with you without coming out and saying it. he’s a coward. he’s playing mind games, i doubt he’s hung up on the ex. he’s just trying to get your pity

it’s called emotional blackmail

please heal and recover from his BS. better luck next time