How can I heal from the past?

[Anonymous]

I constantly think about the mistakes I made in the past and I have a hard time staying in the moment, and I blame myself a lot, how can I heal from the past?

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah girl, don't be so hard on yourself. We've all made mistakes, that's just part of life. Beating yourself up about the past ain't gonna change it tho. Here's some things that help me when I'm stuck dwelling:

- Try journalling. Write down all the shit you regret, then write why you did it and what you learned. Getting it out helps.

- Talk to some close friends about how you're feeling. A good vent sesh really lifts the weight off your shoulders.

- Practice self-forgiveness. Tell yourself it's in the past, you did your best at the time and now you know better. We're always growing.

- Focus on the present by making plans - see friends, start a new hobby, work on personal goals. Keeps your mind busy.

- Think of your future self. Would you want her looking back still upset? No way, you gotta let that shit go sis.

It takes time but you'll heal. Be good to yourself - you deserve it. We all mess up, you're not alone. The only way is forward, yeah? So lift your head up gal, you've got this!

[Asker]

Thank u

[Oliverlogan263]

My pleasure

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Something I always found helpful is to reframe any negative thoughts I associate with them. I try to put the memories into conscious words and if there are very negative ones, I try to replace them.

Also a sense of humor helps me sometimes. If I have a vivid memory where I did something very rude or foolish, I might be tempted to feel down in the dumps thinking, "I am such a horrible idiot." Yet I replace that with, "I was such an idiot! How silly!" And even "I am" with "I was" can help as though I'm no longer that person.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Doing this actively with new experiences also helps to reframe your memories. For example, instead of telling yourself you had an "awful" day at work which might make you feel awful, you might reframe that to a "challenging" day at work which doesn't motivate such negative thoughts and feelings. Just the very words you use both inwardly and outwardly can affect the way you interpret both present events and past events in ways that influence how you feel.

[jaskin777]

I know same here.
It hard asf.

[laly520]

therapy