Do you think it would help you heal from what happened?
Would you take the chance to speak to your ex and talk about things?
They should've apologized after hurting me and I would forgive them to help me heal. Few weeks ago, my ex started a huge raging argument with me which ended up him physically assaulting me that day. He never reached out to apologized but instead moved on quickly in a new relationship which hurt me really bad. I heard from mutual friends that he denied doing anything and think he did nothing wrong. Even one of our mutual friends told him he should've apologized, but he said no. That made me feel more hurt. His new girlfriend can deal with what I had to deal with him even though he's acting like the nice good guy, but his true colors will show months later. If he tried to apologize to me years later, I wouldn't care since I moved on from him and don't want to speak to him ever again. I even had another abusive ex who apologized to me 3 years later and tries to be nicer to me now. I am not buying it and wished he did that years ago for me to heal. It says a lot about a person who doesn't apologize. So, I would just move on and never look back.
Oh damn I’m sorry to hear about that. I guess you didn’t really lose anything.
I don't think either will ever fully heal tbh, we rlly fucked each other up. Even just seeing her again recently she's physically different in ways I influenced, n I am from her too. We had some closure type apologies, brief catchup on family, partners & kids since we split, n agreed we shouldn't ever see each other again in future just to be safe.
I don't rlly feel any different about her or myself. It was nice to know we both still alive & doing better tho, glad we didn't totally destroy each other. So in that way it was healing ig.
What would there be to heal from? If there was going to be that moment or closure and they could have given it to me, that would have happened during, or shortly after the break-up. Given cheating, betrayal, or just straight nastiness I remove that person from my life like a tumor.
I'd assume there's some ulterior or completely selfish motive if they somehow got in contact through someone else who knows where I live, or my new number. If I'm being completely honest I'd most likely respond with hostility and violence. Even more so if I ran into an ex where things ended in an unfriendly way all these years later in the here and now.
I've got a family, they can eat shit and die for forgiveness compared to the possibility of putting my family in jeopardy.
Yeah I agree with you haha
My first ex-wife was an evil woman. We divorced, and had years of separate lives. We never had kids together.. about 14 years after our divorce was final, she found my work number and called me and crying without wanting anything from me, apologized for having been so evil and cruel mean to me during our short marriage. Now we have a cordial friendship she has an expertise. I have an extra Deas we share information and we wish each other the best. I want the best for her and she wants the best for me. It’s genuine it took a few years to heal, but it also took someone admitting that they were wrong and causing so much damage. . So yes.. it is possible but it takes humility from the one who caused the damage defined the admit it and seek healing there after.
Wow…. can’t believe that happened. She really grew during the time you were separated.
Out of respect I won’t give the details, but she had some trauma in relationships after me. She recovered.. we both had some healing to do.
And we are both better now than we were so we can have major regrets in a life but the real challenges did we learn the lesson and did we make ourselves better she has and I have. I wish I didn’t need that lesson but it seems like I did, but I’m better for it and so is she.
Well you know a lot of people get on with life with zero self awareness. It’s good that she eventually developed some self awareness and was able to develop a friendship with you.
Opinion
15Opinion
I've had several exes really hurt me. Some of them have come back into my life. There's no more closure whether they do or not, end result is the same: we're not together.
I can talk about it with less emotion after about a week. There's no more "less" to have after that. Zero is zero.
Some of us have spoken about it, some of us haven't. From my side there's never been anything to talk about, but if we're going to be friends and they need to talk then I'll listen (briefly, I don't owe them War & Peace live reading).
I also think closure is a fairy tale that too many people spend too much time chasing.
I doubt it. I don’t think an ex apologizing usually does much to help learn from the failed relationship, or to move on from it, or to avoid being cynical or fearful about potential future relationships. In some cases an apology, even if made with good intentions, can lead to the rekindling of a bad relationship. If you have forgiven an ex, which is not the same as there being no consequences or boundaries but is more a way to avoid their having power over you, then their apology is really more for their own sake (coming clean is good for the soul) than yours.
The only single apology I would accept from my first ex boyfriend (a narcissistic-sociopath) would be if I get my money back that he scammed me with. If he pays back those $1,300 then my final words to him would be ''Thank you. Now get lost''.
Other than that, no amount of apology would do it for me. None. The only apology is my money back and him to continue being out of my life.
He already apologized.
But why do I need his apologize?
Words without the actions mean nothing.
It’s his loss honestly. When someone loves you the way I loved him, you should be smart enough to cherish it.
He can as well apologize to himself for losing me.
I agree 100% with what you said. That's why I think "closure" is stupid. It doesn't change anything. She still left me, he still left you (or whatever). "I'm sorry" is hollow most of the time, and even when it isn't, STILL changes nothing.
Nope. Bad behaviour always leaves an impact, even when you want to look past the bad things done to you, you will still stay cautious to what was done before. That being said, there's a limit to how much can one tolerate before losing it all. But for your own good, you should learn and make yourself better and your ex should be so irrelevant in your present that their apology shouldn't make a difference to you anymore.
I wouldn't carry it that long and what was ever done to me it's done and it's over and it happened a long time ago and I probably forgave them just because I didn't want to feel but they're going to feel I would accept it and I would move on there's no way I would let something hold me back for a long period of time like that
Could I forgive her? Yes. Would it change anything? No. The fact is while I wish her well (because she is toxic AF and needs all the well wishing she can get). But it is impossible for me to trust ANYTHING that comes out of her mouth again. I've already forgiven her in my own mind.
Yea but no lie I got things to apologize for as well but I don't think the opportunity will even come and it's not like I really care anymore tho
Time and being able to let go of the past helped me heal.
Not heal, but I would feel smug about it somehow. Like there you go, you missed out you son of a bitch
No the cheating ass could die for all I care.
What I need closure for?
If someone is unwilling, it simply won't work.
I think I had my closure. But if a crush came back I might give them a chance
At that point, I feel it wouldn't even matter anymore, as you would most likely be healed already
My ex turned into a Republican and married a schmuck from Texas. She'll never heal from that, and anything she has to say to me doesn't matter.
Yes I forgive but I never forget
Same tbh
Good that's the way you should be
That will never happen.
nope she was a cheating bitch
No, damage is done.
Nope!