My ex wants me back but i'd got in a relationship?

[Unrealiseddream]

We had the best relationship but broke up due to him not having his stuff together and this impacted he needed space and time to grow..

I moved on got with someone tried to make it work but never forgot my ex.

Ex comes back and says he wanna be with me. I do not tell him I'm in a relationship.

My relationship ends up going bad and we break up.

I tell my ex that I'd had a relationship while we not together. He said his ego is rampant and he feels some type of way I was with someone however he knows the thoughts are toxic and he owns it.. now he needs space to let things settle as he doesn't want me to go from relationship to relationship. I agree and I'm working on me.

I agree we need space and time. Am I mad to trust him again and expect this to work out? Any men have a break from a woman and then feel bad when they have entertained other men? Will this work out?

[Oliverlogan263]

Man that's a lot to take in. On the one hand, if your relationship with your ex was really that great before, I could see why you'd want to give things another shot. But there's also some red flags here that would give me pause.

First off, even though he says he knows his feelings of jealousy are toxic, the fact that his ego is that fragile doesn't bode super well. Relationships are about trust and being secure with each other. If he's gonna keep holding your moving on against you, that's not a great sign.

I'd also be worried about getting stuck in a cycle of breaking up and getting back together. You both clearly have some things to work through individually if you hope to make it long term. Is he actually taking the time to grow and deal with his issues? Or will you just end up right back here again down the line?

My advice would be to take the space he suggested very seriously. Use it to focus on you and make sure another relationship is really what you want right now. Make sure he's doing the same. Then go slow - really slow. See how comfortable you both feel without any pressure or expectations before getting fully back together. If he's ready to be a supportive partner this time around, great. But protect your heart too. At the end of the day you need to be sure it'll be different before committing fully again. Does that help at all? Let me know if you need any other thoughts!

[Unrealiseddream]

You are so right. I don't want to be going from relationship to relationship. I need this time and space. I also have noted that I feel a little punished for meeting someone new. But I understand this can't be easy for him. So I will wait for him to come back to me and hopefully we can figure it all out.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah I get what you mean, it's never a good idea to just jump from one relationship to the next without taking time to process things. Taking it slow is the smart move here.

And yeah, I'm sure your ex is probably feeling a bit punishing towards you for seeing someone else, even if logically he knows it wasn't really your fault. Rejection and jealousy can make guys act weird sometimes. Just try not to take it too personally - I'm sure deep down he's more upset at himself for messing things up before.

Waiting for him to come to you once he's had more time to sort through his feelings is a good call. Hopefully the space will give him some perspective and let the hurt feelings fade a bit. When/if he does reach back out, really listen with an open mind. Be willing to reassure him where you can, but also stand up for yourself if he's still blaming you unfairly.

It's good you both want to make things work. With patience and communication, there's a good chance you'll be able to work through this. But again, protect your heart too - go slow and see real effort from him before fully committing again. I'm rooting for you guys! Let me know how it goes.

[melnc]

If you weren't dating someone else, your ex wouldn't have thought about getting back together. It's all about jealousy. For me, I don't believe in getting together, especially after a breakup, because if things were successful between you in the first place, you wouldn't choose to walk away. I understand your feelings, but you have to understand that the recent spark between the two of you is temporary. In the end, it's your decision to make.

[Paris13]

I tell my ex that I'd had a relationship while we not together. He said his ego is rampant and he feels some type of way I was with someone however he knows the thoughts are toxic and he owns it.. now he needs space to let things settle as he doesn't want me to go from relationship to relationship. I agree and I'm working on me.

****He is Mixed Up and Not Trustworthy. It Was a Chase and a Challenge and Now That You are Free, He is Being Fickled. xxoo

[Paris13]

Thanks, Gag. xxoo

[bobalife]

Ugh it’s always so confusing when exes or situationships people come back… but you do what you feel is best for yourself and you guys. At least you were honest about it sooner than later. Of course it’s not a great feeling for neither of yalls. But I think it’s good he is able to acknowledge it and wanna give you guys some space to think about things over.

[thevoicesinmybread]

Your ex is toxic. The relationship was over, you had absolutely no commitment to him after. I would understand his anguish if you were on a break, but he clearly stated that he needed space and time to grow. He has no right to tell you that you trampled his ego when he is this flaky. Is this the kind of person you see a future with? Just my 2 cents.

[Unrealiseddream]

Thank you for this. He has owned his feelings and is working on getting past his ego. I guess he feels worse that I didn't tell him. I know I should have and I take full responsibility there.

[thevoicesinmybread]

You were already in a relationship with him, and it did not turn out great. He has ego issues and people like that need a lot of time for growth and introspection. Don't date the same person for the second time round and expect a different outcome. There is a lot of other fishes in the sea. Why did he come back AFTER you moved on with someone else? Cut off things with him and find someone else.

[Pterodon]

Best answer is it’s 50/50.

[Unrealiseddream]

Could you expand on this as I don't know what you mean lol

[Pterodon]

It means I think if you try this relationship again there’s a 50% chance it will fail again

[Unrealiseddream]

True thanks for sharing