Mental health moment?

[Anonymous]

I'm at a point in my life where I need advice. I've been to therapy and talked to close friends and nothing has helped. Maybe I'm not listening or explaining myself correctly, I'm not sure. I can't be the only one who has ever felt like this...

I was married and in a relationship for 10 years. It was awful, but I felt secure. I was controlled by a narcissist and divorced him. That was 2 years ago, I'm self employed and it's all I can do to function sometimes. I have a brand new life and I'm alone. I'm grateful and thankful for everything I have. I'm at a point in my life that there has got to be more than this. My brain doesn't shut off and I can't remember anything the next day. I'm super emotional every day. I've healed from the divorce, but now worry about the uncertainty of my life. I'm not disciplined enough to follow through with any goals. My body is slowly breaking down from all the stress and anxiety that I'm releasing. I try to meditate, but it's hard. I live life and do only the things I have to do and that's it. I have NEVER been this way in my entire life. I'm usually a workaholic and have a plan and get things done. I'm not like that anymore and I don't know how to fix it. Please help!

[teamvic]

Perhaps it's because you're so uncomfortable that everything, even your plans are getting affected. You even said when you where if that relationship, you were already comfortable

Now you're in unfamiliar territory and you don't like it at all

I suggest stop trying to focus so hard and just, live for a bit. Have fun, go out places. Obviously still get the work done so you don't become homeless, but you need to enjoy yourself. You are right live isn't just working yourself to death and that's it. You are meant to have fun and you find seem to be letting yourself do that. Go out with friends, if you don't have that, go places you enjoy alone. That's okay. Also it seems you're happier in a relationship so also allow yourself to find love again. Perhaps being with them will help you calm yourself

Also about the constant emotion thing. It's all about the mindset. You don't have to meditate but all you got to do is whenever you find yourself being emotional. Just literally think inside your head that you'll be okay and that there's nothing to worry about. You know that little voice in your head? Convince that mu fucka that you'll be good. Because right now it seems your emotional side of your brain has control of the reigns and thats why you're so emotional everyday. Find the logical side of you that always went through with your plans and get that side of you back in control. I know it may seem a but crazy but the way I look at it is this. I got multiple different versions of me. All inside my head. I got a logical side of me, An emotional side, an angry side, and a humorous side.

I purposely keep my logical side in front meaning, when I think about stuff. I use my logical point of view to guide what ima do. Like for example I want a relationship right. I haven't been in one for a long time and at times I feel lonely. But, I think , well me being sad about it ain't gonna change anything, so I just move on. If I let my emotional side think of that same scenario, I'd probably be sad and worrying that I never be happy. It's why people always say never make decisions if you're angry. Why? Because it clouds your judgment and you tend to do dumb stuff, like for example hurt someone's feelings. Same with being emotional. If you do something while being emotional you can overthink or even not see the truth because your vision and logical side is clouded by your feelings..

I kinda got off topic but yeah. Just do what I said haha😅😂

[teamvic]

Also, it seems your mind, is not currently built to carry this amount of stress. So what do you do? Train it. Just like you would if you're too weak to lift something that you want to lift

You weren't as stressed when you were married, so your mind was good. Now you got a lot of stress so now you need a stronger mindset. It's like if you want to run a car, would you use two double a batteries? No, you need an actual car battery. Just train yourself till you get it. Or, do stuff that'll reduce that stress

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm this does sound like a tough situation. It's good that you got out of that bad relationship but dealing with the aftermath has been hard. I know what it's like having your brain not stop racing with worries, that really stresses you out.

Maybe try going slower with goals for now, don't put so much pressure on yourself. Small wins each day help build back confidence. And cut yourself some slack - it takes time to fully heal from that kind of controlling relationship.

For the meditation, maybe try different types till you find one you like. Or go for walks outside in nature, being in fresh air can work as good as meditation sometimes. Meeting up with friends might help too when you're up to it, a chance to laugh and take your mind off things for a bit.

You got through the hard part by leaving that guy, so I know you have strength inside. It'll just take some patience now as you adjust to your new life. But you WILL get back to your self and feeling more like your old self with time. Just take it a day at a time, you've got this!

[rosemilk]

you need a vacation. a complete reset. your environment can easily wear you down like that.

[genericname85]

Did you try a few therapists or just one?