I kept texting him while he was busy, he later said "I cannot stand you". Is it over?

[Anonymous]

I don't know what happened, but he basically said to leave him alone just because I sent a few more messages after he said he is busy.

He started yelling and telling me I'm hard to deal with.

He won't be talking to me for now... and maybe even forever. Is there anything I can do?

Updates

+1 y

I apologized twice over text and he said "what apologize... you keep doing it every single time"

[DoggyDude]

You crossed a line, and it will be hard to recover, but not impossible.

What you need to do most of all is give him a lot of space, also you need to look at how you've been acting and try to determine why you've bombarded him with messages when he's let you know clearly he's busy?

If you can figure out why your behaving they way you are, you can try to find better ways to deal with whatever is causing your needieness (which is what sending a lot of texts inapporopiately reveals).

I find often girls get needy when they are worried about their relationship; Maybe the guy is getting a lot of attention, maybe the guy isn't giving enough or the right kinds of attention; Maybe your just very young and feeling insecure in general about yourself and feel you need to be in touch more often; Maybe you've fallen more deeply into the guy and your trying to make sure he knows too much.

So you need to figure out which it is, and it might be none of the above, we can't know.

It is also advisable to spend time with other guys, casually; Don't do anything that might give them wrong impressions like you like them or are single (unless you are of course) just get used to now being so dependent on the guy your texting so much. Then, when you've given him a goodly amount of time, send him ONE text, saying how your feeling... possibly "miss you, would love to talk if you get time" and then don't THINK about it once, until you get a reply (give it a week if needed). Then once you DO get the reply, show your first consideration is his schedule, reply "that would be GREAT if you can find the time"; Keep reflecting a new respect for his time and that will really help.

The tricky part here, is working out why you went mad on texts to begin with and getting a handle on yourself, and making sure that this guy isn't the only guy in your life (though, keep him the special guy, thats important).

Anyway hope that helps, good luck.

[Asker]

Thank you! The reason behind my neediness is his lack of understanding and attention. If I don't call him, he can go days without reaching out.

[DoggyDude]

Yes. that can be a concerning sign sometimes in a relationship. It can be hard sometimes to distinguish a lack of care from someone who's just really on the very very manly spectrum. A friend I had ran into that with a partner, she loved his independence and capableness, ability to run businesses and get stuff done (on the one hand) on the other she continiously felt there was a hidden side to him she kept trying to bring out (because she wanted to feel special, not just another thing he managed in his life). The trap there was this was him, he was just like that end ot end and there wasn't a hidden emotional element, though there was a different kind of emotional communication there.

So basically, in the end, he felt uncared and not seen as Liz was trying to find this 'hidden man', convinced he was bottling up emotions etc, and she kept trying to position everything he did in the agenda when really she was just not feeling special, or when she did feel special she could see it was his professional ability, rather than a special connection to her.

I'd say in your situation, figure out if anything like that might be going on... figure out if you love this guy 'as is' and are feeling your needs met (or feeling like he's trying to meet them in his way). If you can't honestly say thats happening then opening yourself up to the world more, and see what happenes will be good. Either the guys going to realise he's dropped the ball on a relationship thats more important than he's understood, or you'll meet some stud who gets you way better.

[JacobJordan]

If a guy says he is busy don't keep pushing him he will message you when he no longer busy. But if you push it gets annoying as fuck. Unless you are able to learn and I do mean that in the most literal sense then yes it is over. If you apologize for something and then keep doing it you were not sorry

[Tiptoetamm]

As women we need to understand and respect that men feel emotions differently. Most men are not so clingy. I got lucky to have a clingy man but most are not. Even with a clingy man he asks for his space I give it to him. Not everyone agrees with me but the way I run household is the man is in charge. It is what it is. I obviously have my boundaries and if I really put my foot down he will listen but he asks me to go something I do it. I don't wait I do it now. He needs to know he can rely on you. You will do what he needs you to do. How can a man protect and provide for a woman who resists that shit. Your just pushing him away with how clingy you. Just think about it

[Tiptoetamm]

I just want to be clear. I'm not saying whatever he says goes. Do not neglect your beliefs why it's so important to find someone with similar beliefs and interest

[sheikalana]

There's nothing you can do other than give him space and do not contact him at all. Respect his wishes it's as simple as that. If you had respected his wishes the first time he said he was busy you wouldn't be here crying for a second chance. I'm sure you appreciate when people respect your boundaries that's not asking for much.

[Asker]

Do you think that he will come back?

[sheikalana]

I have no idea. I wouldn't be expecting him to come back.

[Paris13]

Apparently, He is Being Rude and Crude Because it Became a Bad Habit. Move on from Him. xxoo

[Peridot25]

Are you serious right now? You seriously can’t see why he was upset? He straight up told you he was busy MEANING to leave him alone until he was able to get back to you. But, you kept pushing it.

[Sarahng]

After reading your update, you two don't respect each other. You don't respect that he needs his space by doing this every single time, and he doesn't respect you by being rude and hurtful. Without respect there's no relationship, so either you both try to work on that together or work on yourself in another relationship.

[Account]

Yes, there is. Don't ever text him again. The more you do, the more desperate you appear to him and the more turned off he gets.

[Anonymous]

you disregarded his boundaries. he said he was BUSY. you didn't care and made it all about you and kept texting, despite the fact. so yeah i can see and understand why it would be over.

[imjustcool]

what are you still doing with a crusty man who’s taking you for granted

[Asker]

You are right, he is taking me for granted... that's for sure

[imjustcool]

If he won’t
Another man will
Find better they’re replaceable

[Asker]

I don't want them to be replaceable, but it is what it is.

[DextroShade]

You are a simp.

[imjustcool]

Thanks

[Chelsdope0]

Yes, give him space. Stop being clingy and annoying. Huge turn off.


You should be doing stuff yourself not being on his dixk.

[DextroShade]

You didn't listen to him so next time submit, do what he asks, and don't be such an annoying bitch if you want to keep a man around.

[Peridot25]

Ok, that was a bit far on calling her a bitch. No need to be hostile.

[Peridot25]

And how you worded your first sentence doesn’t really sit right either. Literally, no one said that in the comment section.

[DextroShade]

@Peridot25 she didn't listen to him when he said he was busy and she kept bothering him.

[Peridot25]

I get that but saying that makes you sound like an asshole who’s on a power trip.

[Peridot25]

I don’t know if that’s how you talk to your partner.

[Peridot25]

Calling her names and telling her she must submit and do what you tell her to do because you have a dick between your legs.

[DextroShade]

@Peridot25 my wife does submit because she knows it is her role to do so.

[Peridot25]

@DextroShade What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you this way? Who raised you to be this way? I’m scared to even think how you treated your own mother as a child.

[Asker]

@Peridot25 please folks, don't fight...

[Anonymous]

People who no idea about basic communication have no business being in a relationship.

[Asker]

Of course

[laly520]

he is so done with u

also u dont need such jerk in ur life

[Aiko_E_Lara]

How could someone be a jerk if he just want some space? He told her he was busy but did she listen?

[laly520]

@Aiko_E_Lara he isn't jerk for wanting space
he is jerk for yelling, thats verbal abuse

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Except he didn't yell the first time. If it's true that she does that time, Each time she has done it, he may have never yelled at her. Just that once. That don't make someone a jerk. He could be in a stressful situation and he still trying to not be too harsh. Nothing in there said that he is calling her names or anything and if it's a done through text, you couldn't tell if he's actually yelling or not.

[Still-alive]

ehh i dunno i think you aren't telling the full story here. there's gotta be something you sent in the texts that prompted this.

[Booklover_90]

If he said he was busy, why’d you keep messaging him? Don’t you have things of your own to do?

[nawtee_me]

People need their space…. You would not give him his. You are clingy and needy it appears. Even self centered maybe.

[Anonymous]

Why would you want someone that said he couldn't stand you?

[Asker]

Because he could stand me just 2 days ago when he spent 5 hours on the phone with me... that's why.

[Opinion Owner]

I already answered you before because he's playing games. It's hot/cold push/pull games some loser guys play to attract insecure women

[Asker]

And what's the reason behind those games in your opinion?

[Opinion Owner]

Because they work on women who are insecure and like a challenge. Player guys know this.

[slatyb]

Yes, date someone more reasonable.