Guys, He walks out after a year because he isn't where he thought he would be?

[Anonymous]

Been Dating a guy for over a year now. We had plans to move in together in June this year and he is amazing with my daughter and they get along so well. He left his job to start something of his own 8 months ago and it just hasn't been going as planned. He has had so much stress which leads us to argue now and then which isn't extreme and we sort it out almost straight away. Today he messaged me deciding to end things because he feels he isn't in a position to be in a relationship and putting time into our family is keeping him from work stuff and he needs focus. His life is "falling apart" and he can't put energy into our relationship. It threw me off as we know eachothers family, we share everything together and it feels like we have been together for 5 years. I havnt replied to his message and I am extremely hurt. I have been his support and dont rely on him for any finances so I dont understand how getting rid of your family and all we built is going to solve this issue? He is in his late 30's fyi. I feel if its what he really wants then I can't stop that and also apart of me doesn't want to fight for us anymore if he is just quitting... Guys, Men... please help me understand where he is at and if walking away for good is really what he wants or if he is just going through something.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like your boyfriend is going through a difficult time, especially with the stress of starting his own business. It's possible that he's feeling overwhelmed and believes that ending the relationship will allow him to focus more on his work. However, it's also important to consider if this decision is truly what he wants or if it's a knee-jerk reaction to his current stressors.

Since you've been together for over a year and have built a strong bond, it might be worth having an open and honest conversation with him to understand his feelings and concerns better. Express how hurt you are by his decision and ask him to clarify his reasons for wanting to end the relationship. This can help both of you gain clarity on the situation and determine if there's a possibility for reconciliation or if it's best to part ways.

Ultimately, only he knows his true intentions and feelings, but communication is key in navigating this situation and making decisions about the future of your relationship.

[ManOnFire]

Sad situation there. But I think I can understand what he's going through and how it's bothering him. He had a vision for himself and his future by starting his own business - that I'm sure obviously involved you, but to him things just don't seem to be going as planned. That was his vision of success, and it probably disappointed him that it hasn't been working out. So I think he's probably feeling depressed about it, preoccupied, and being determined to make it work.

I don't think he really wants to quit on you, I just think he's not happy where he is, and he's probably not satisfied with himself either. And it's not that he doesn't appreciate your support but he still wants to be the master of his own ship and be happy in a relationship with you that way.

You should try to talk to him about it, assuming you haven't already.

[Asker]

I haven't. This isn't the first time this has happened and I can't keep playing this game where he leaves us and then wants us back its exhausting.

[ManOnFire]

Okay. So if he's already done this before then no, you don't have to keep putting up with that. You don't deserve to have some guy walk in and out of your life like that. Let him walk.

[OlderAndWiser]

Has he previously been married or in a long term relationship/cohabiting?

[Asker]

No... I think he has commitment issues. He hasn't had a relationship longer than 2 years and he keeps starting new work projects and giving up half way.

[OlderAndWiser]

You probably don’t want to hear this, but. . . you can’t fix him and you can’t expect him to change for you. If you can’t live with this for the rest of your life, right now would be a great time to make s decision.

[jahaims]

He is using a relationship as the excuse as to why he is failing