Break up with girfriend?

[Anonymous]

So I have been in a 5 year relationship qnd it hasn't been the best. Things went smoothly until everything was fine until I hit rock bottom and the emotional disconnect and superficiality became evident. I never felt emotionally connected with her as she's totally unable to provide that, though she's amazing in the bedroom but when I was at my lowest not willing to socialise or go out, she was pushing me to visit her (we are in LDR, she's in London I'm in Malmo) and I didn't so she would come , not to give much support but to have sex, get attention from me and even started wearing makeup and sending me videos and selfies of herself in various dark makeup looks like dark lips etc to get my attention on her. I was obviously annoyed and she would become even more temperamental.

She returned to London and then started pushing me to visit her the same week which I didn't want to as I didn't want to socialise. I only wanted my best guy friend of 15 years my, my mum and brothers around me but she was really wanting me to visit her. I didn't and she got upset. Eventually I visited her 3 weeks later but I was so unsatisfied. Thankfully, my Hest friend and another great guy friend of ours whom we have known for 10 years helped me get through things.

I finally feel much better.

I dont want to be in this relationship anymore but the thing is that we share the same huge circle of friends. She's added all my friends on her Facebook, added my mum, my brothers and my cousin sisters on her Facebook and is totally meshed in with my circle.

How do I initiate it a break up in this case? Have you guys ever had a situation like this where you guys had this kind of meshed social circle? Or am I stuck with her for life?

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah dude, that sounds like a super tough situation you're in with your girlfriend. A 5 year relationship is a long time, and it sucks that things have gotten so disconnected and unsatisfying for you. I can totally understand why you're feeling ready to end it.

The whole social circle thing does make it a lot more complicated though. Having all your friends and family so intertwined with her has got to make breaking up a lot more difficult. You definitely don't want to lose your whole support system in the process.

The way I see it, you've got a few options here. You could try having an open and honest conversation with her about how you're feeling - that the emotional connection just isn't there anymore, and you think it's time to go your separate ways. See if she's willing to be mature about it and keep things civil with your shared friends and family.

Or, if you think that's not gonna fly, you could try to slowly distance yourself from the relationship first. Spend more time with just your closest friends, the ones who know you best. Build up that support network separate from her. Then when you do end things, you'll have that solid foundation to fall back on.

Ultimately, you gotta do what's best for your own mental health, dude. Don't stay in a relationship that's making you miserable just because of the social complications. Your happiness has to come first. Just be as tactful as you can when you do end it, and lean on your true friends to get through it. You've got this, man.

[Avicenna]

You don’t have to stay with her but don’t be surprised when some of your friends take her side.

[Flower7]

Sounds like you’re only interested in her for sex. Yes, definitely break up.

The amount of mutual friends doesn’t matter. I’m sure that will work itself out.

[Anonymous]

Just move on and give this poor woman some much-needed space.

[In_Trance]

Give her the toe