Break Up & Divorce

Given this group of events, should I leave my husband or am I imagining the severity?

1. Threats of Physical Harm
First incident (Approx. 1.5 years ago)

He was disassembling a dining room table.
Turned to you with a table leg in hand, smiled briefly, and said:
“I have to go put this in my car because I just had an intrusive thought to bash you over the head and see how many times it would take.”
Later said it was a “joke” — you were not supposed to take it seriously.

Second incident (3.5 weeks ago)

You were talking to him about your day and a book. He interrupted with:
“I need you to stop talking please because I feel like I might punch you if you keep going.”
You responded calmly: “Okay, I’ll just keep out of arm’s length.”
He then insisted on a kiss before you went upstairs, and pulled you down on top of him.
Later claimed he “meant” punching something, not you, and referenced his own internal anger patterns.

2. Privacy Violations & Boundary Dismissals
Multiple incidents over time:

Shared your medical, sexual, and mental health history with his mother, friends, and others without consent. (Ongoing)
Told an unstable acquaintance about your travel plans — she offered to pick you up from the airport without your knowledge.(2weeks ago)
When you set a boundary asking him not to share your personal info without consent, he said:
“If I can’t talk about our issues with others, I won’t be able to filter what I say to you. That will cause more problems.” (This week)

3. Emotional Dismissal & Deflection
Praise & chores conversation (last 2 weeks):

He said you weren’t doing “your part” to change.
You noted that you had tried to praise him more (his request), but he said verbal praise didn’t count.
Asked for clarification; he said he didn’t know — then later said food makes him feel loved.
Said your emotions and depression “hang over the house like a storm cloud.”
Framed your mental health as a burden to him and the reason for emotional distance.

Updates
10 mo
“One-upping” incident (about 2 months ago): After a 14-hour workday, you asked for help cutting watermelon. He said he needed to prioritize editing a video and that his boss had a long day coming up.

Updates
10 mo
4. Disparaging Your Work/Energy
➡️ Housework comment (1 year ago)
* You asked for help due to working 50 hours a week.
* He said he has to “lower his expectations” for you.
* Compared you to his mom, who “could always keep up with housework.”
* Said your jobs “don’t count as work” because you sit at a desk.
* Later said he reminds himself you're “just an introvert,” and that’s why you’re tired.
Updates
10 mo
I left yesterday… I don’t know if it makes any logical sense or if I know what to do from here, but that was my first full night of sleep in a while…
Updates
8 mo
Update:
I definitely am right to be leaving… I just heard through the grapevine that he was once again reported to HR for approaching a young female coworker and not leaving her alone… the first time, she was 19 and he was 30, this time she is 20 and he is 33. He is officially on probation…. I can’t believe I married this guy… working on the divorce papers now…
Given this group of events, should I leave my husband or am I imagining the severity?
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