No contact/absence makes the heart grow fonder? SOULMATE

[Anonymous]

We are both 40. We broke up or took a "open ended relationship break" last Thursday. He texted twice. They were more "functional" texts but indicates that he is still thinking of me. He broke up with me citing my insecurities and such like that. He was at the end of his rope and didn't have the will to go on. He was empty inside. He didn't think the feeling would come back. He said that it had to naturally.

We were together for two years. We both have 2 children each who get along very well although he hasn't taken to mine quite as well as I did his.

Why bother texting me, "hi how are you? I think you left your shoes here" etc. with no response to my reply. Then two days later, texts again with some almost stupid reason, "I can't find that ad on kijiji that was there. Is it still there?" I did respond to that as well again with no reply.

WTH?

He told me to spend time with my kids and "reflect".

I have been seeing a councellor to get it together for myself and the kids beause I am a mess. I refuse to contact him and am giving him space and time.

With harvest coming up soon and since I was supposed to be highly instrumental in that, do you suppose that may invoke some feelings of wanting to reconcille again? How can you just throw everything away if there is still a chance to make it work? It may not be the optimum situation where we can live together but we can work around that...

The councellor that we saw together twice, told us point blank that we do have a soul mate relationship but that as all do (relationships) it takes maintenance and work.

Is there a chance that he may soften his stance?

[knowmeyourself]

I think he still wants to be with you, but is overwhelmed with the drama created by petty fights, your insecurities (as he said), etc...

I believe that he tried to make things work, but you're still insecure or unhappy overall. He thought if he gave you space to sort things out on your own, then he'll come back to find a wiser woman- a woman who is trying harder to work things out. (I'm trying to analyze what he thinks).

Men, in general, hate drama. Insecurities create too much drama. I know you don't mean to bother him. I'm sure you love him and you can't help how you feel. But, I have a feeling that he's overwhelmed, tired and wish you could just ...change...because he loves you and wants to be with you, but can't handle you when you're like that.

I encourage you to forget about him right now and focus on YOU. Sit yourself down and think how you treated him, your positives, your negatives, and how could you be a better partner and lover. I'm not saying you're the one to blame. I bet he's thinking of the things he did wrong or how he could make things better. So, just focus on this and when you're finished, try to meet up and I hope he notices the change in you. :)

He keeps on texting you as an excuse to be intouch. It's obvious that he still wants you, but is forcing himself to stay away because, in his mind, he thinks it's for the better. He thinks if he's absent, you'll miss him and try to change or at least think of what happened and how you could make things better.

Focus on yourself. I believe he still loves you, but wants to see a positive change in you. I hope he does the same too. It's a chance to rekindle your beautiful love relationship. :)

Hope this helps.