Did I overreact and break up over something stupid?

[onikage]

for a while now I've had this break-up in my head and it just doesn't make sense to me in the least. essentially me and her dated for 3 almost 4 months. during the argument that led to me ending it with her she said "i never really liked anything about you I just liked the way you made me feel". But my main whole issue was that the whole time we were together the only times she actually seemed happy with me was when I was spending massive amounts of money on her. the second I told her this she had a look of complete shock on her face and kinda looked like her brain completely shut down because all she did from then on out was repeat "my friends were right about me" yet the only people she had ever introduced me to was her mom, her moms b/f, her adopted brother and his g/f. none of which were the friends in question and she kept acting like I knew those very same friends that said whatever she was saying they were right about at the time and never answered the question of what her friends said. I mean I was dropped a hint about spoiling her by her own moms boyfriend but didn't put 2 and 2 together and was wondering if I helped feed the break up in that way by somewhat spoiling her and turning myself into a tool. its only bothering me now for a few ideas got put into my head by people around me and now I can't stop thinking about the what if's

[drjohno]

"i never really liked anything about you I just liked the way you made me feel"

this...

"the only times she actually seemed happy with me was when I was spending massive amounts of money on her. the second I told her this she had a look of complete shock on her face"

There...

Dude, let me congratulate you for your decision of breaking up with your ex. If you overreacted, then I wish more men were like you. I'll explain.

Men love idealistically, women love opportunistically. In other words, we could even die for them any time, they just couldn't do that for us.

When she said "I never really liked..." she was honest as hell. She didn't sugarcoated it because she couldn't care less about you. See, men don't need to possess stuff in order to have a girl. We just need to give the impression we do and that will create the perception that you're Mr. Right. Because It's not what/who you have/are what matters to her, it's what you can give her what she really needs: Feelings. Women love us for what we can give them, not for what we are. It's the same scenario for a wife who, after a life together with kids and everything, starts to question her love to her husband since he lost his job. From here, it's just a matter of time for her to file a rape accusation against him, take the house and custody of the kids, and go get a richer man: "I didn't love him any more, he changed, it's his fault. I deserved better. I deserved to he happy"

Women are just unable to see what is wrong with this (their) behavior . Any attempt to give them insight about the amorality of all of this ("the second I told her this...") is, and will be, taken as an attack on themselves.

The moral of the story is not to be mad at this. Hating women for how they are is just stupid. We are Men, we are smart enough to learn from this ugly truth and use it wisely.

[onikage]

i understand what your'e saying I just don't understand the motives behind her actions. I mean if she didn't find me attractive and liked nothing bout me then why date me in the first place and then say I dated you because you were "different". the only differences I was privy to between me and them were race, income and muscle build/overall size

[lghulm]

Sometimes we need to be more direct in relationships I think.

Girls often ask this of us but we never (or rarely) ask it of them: a simple "do you love me?"

I think that is the key here that you are wondering about, was it just the $$$ and love you gave that made her feel good that kept her with you without loving you or did she love you because you were kind and sweet?

They are two different things but we can easily confuse them because the girls emotions are different in each case.

From my reading of the situation it appears like it is probably most likely the first case, especially considering the fact that you are having a fight like that after only 3/4 months but it would never hurt to in the moment of the situation clarify things with a simple question :)

[Anonymous]

She sounds like a jerk. You are better off without her, and also seems a little strange that you met her mom and adopted brother but never met any of her friends.

[yopyopyop]

"my friends were right about me" I think you have the answer to your question here. Her friends seem to have told her that she was in it for the money, probably after she told them she didn't love you, but that you were amazing and spoiling her.

The mom's boyfriend probably didn't mean bad when saying this, as most women have become incredibly materialistic.

All in all, you did well. She seemed to be in a weird approach of a relationship, taking any "provider" she would find. As DrJohno said, better now than later, you would have ended alone, sleeping on straw in a barn with a woman like this.

[Anonymous]

I think you did the right thing by leaving her now you just have to work on moving on cause your way better then her

[onikage]

i understand what your'e saying but with the very few friends I have they don't make it feel that way. like a lot of them are shocked that I was the one to break up with her, I even had 2 ex's that had seen her tell me I was dumb as hell for kicking her t the curb because they thought she was hot and thought that me and her would make cute babies (another issue she seemed desperate about). I mean I know its way past the point of no return I just feel as though I really jumped the gun because of them

[Opinion Owner]

Forget what your ex's say it doesn't matter if she's hot or not if she's just using you then in the end your gonna lose your money and your not gonna be happy...

[onikage]

she got me for money (4 grand) that was part of the kicker for me and what made me make the final decision.