Girls, it is ok to have high standards! (Page 3)

[Anonymous]

I think your take is less about having high standards and more as an emotional outlet to frustration in your life. For the most part what you described as high standards are quite average, at least in America. You do sound quite bitter but then maybe that's the point. In the overwhelming majority of first world countries men are still socially expected to pay for women. It sounds like you are quite butt hurt on an extremely slight role reversal. And as much as women like to bitch about the word goldigger it is still socially reinforced that the man pay for the woman. Your anger stems from entitlement of what you perceive as the operant social contract, a contract that is no longer valid as a form of enforcement. I might have taken you seriously has you not regressed to shaming tactics (for compliance) and ad hominem attacks.

[SakuraChii]

I somewhat agree with this take. I don't like role change either but sometimes you have to to make things fair. I also agree with @QuestionMan. If a guy has money to his name, is confident, lives by himself, has a nice house, car and good personality then he's going to want someone who's similar. I've noticed that some girls who want that are not on that level. I think most guys who have all that would want someone who is attractive, confident and probably has a good paying job as well (she would less likely be dating him for his money and would be independent). I'm not saying that people can't have high standards im just saying that you have to accept the consequences or what you get in return. I'm also just saying that girls who have dream guy goals should at least work on their life as well because I'm some situations dating can be like a job interview so it would only help you if you were to work on your 'resume'.

[QuestionMan]

Thanks for the mention :)

[alibaba42]

high standards are fine, but arrogance is not. you are arrogant and looks like you have been told by too many people that you are amazing. The most able good looking and accomplished men will not find you attractive because of these traits.

you will attract lots of guys, but the ones you want won't come until you fix your personality. I agree that you should not sleep around with guys when you see no future with them, that is honourable.

but if a guy is in a similar position to you (i. e. he has his money, he is handsome and intelligent) then he will go for a girl who has all that you have but a nice personality too. he has that choice.

[Kawaiigurl1234]

You're right there is nothinng wrong with having standards that are high. However, if you are just gonna throw a man to the curb because he doesn't make as much money as you, your "standards" need to be re-evaluated. Honestly, I want a man/ woman who respects me and others. Yes, he/she has to be ambitious, but he/she doesn't have to a millionare. It seems to me your head is so far up your ass you can't smell your own sh! t. You want a bunch of materialistic sh! t, and that's not what a relationship is about. I understand that men (and women) can be assholes. Believe me I experienced it too many times. However, the zeroes in there bank account doesn't measure the character of the person. Personality may not pay the bills, but it sure as hell will make you happy in the relationship. I understand that settling is bad, but as long as I get jewlery, shoes, and materialistic sh! t it's fine right?

[TheGamingOne]

hehe,
Pay my bills, pay my meals, treat me like a princess, he must adept to everything of yo
BUT WE WOMAN DISERIVE TO BE TREATED EQUAL
i only missed the part where guys MUST come to you

If you have this additude about it then you probably dont diserve a guy,
How it should be in my opinion is that you move towards each other instead of the guy doing everything like you want it

Geus my approach of finding someone i respect and treat with nice and respectfull with the only assumption that shell adept to me and me to her so we meet omehwere in the middle with adepting to eahcother is completely wrong

And geus you're only a man when you can provide income?
i simply find this take rude.
but its your opinion and your free to have it, only a goodlooking guys with money have too much convidence and choice to be pushed around by girls, so with this additude you won't find your handsome providing boyfriend
I wish you luck with it though

[QooLipBite]

Seeing that many men from where you come from behave and conduct themselves this way, sometimes sicken me. I agree that men should and must have ambition, strength, stability from finance to emotions.

I myself am confident enough to know that I am ambitious, chivalrous and Honourable (I would never ask to borrow money from my lady). I am the exact contrary to the men you are bashing.

However, your take seems to have 2 purposes, one is to vent from your anger and bitterness towards the boys you've dated, and the other which is to inform other girls.

Your attitude seems to be foul by observing the way you right, just be aware that those men (not boys, men) that you want to be with, will have no tolerance towards such attitudes.

[ArtDent]

Upvoted solely for the last sentence. Sums up the reality quite nicely

[Nuqood]

27, single, bragging about her accomplishments.

Oh yeah, you're going to make a great 30something year old unmarried career woman. You're even blogging early, so that'll help with your bitter blogs about toxic masculinity and girl power.

[myTake Owner]

And why does it matter for a accomplished career woman to be married? What is a husband going to do for me exactly? Lol

[Nuqood]

@Starfishlover Well for starters a husband will stop you from making these bitter ass takes that you love to make since you'll actually have what you desire and will actually be happy.

Why do you think you're miserable and super picky? You define yourself by your career and think that your value is higher than the average schmuck, and you think 'you have it all', so there's no room for anyone else.. but you're also lonely, but no guy will 'measure up' to your level, and you won't 'resort' to 'bottom feeding', so you're caught in this endless cycle of mental masturbation and convincing yourself that 'I'm single and here's why that's okay!" even though you want a man deep down.

Textbook shit.

[myTake Owner]

And who says if I married a jobless schmuck that I would be happier?

[myTake Owner]

Love ain't going to pay the bills, son

[Nuqood]

I'm not saying that you should let someone piggy back on your money, but the comparison between his loserhood and your accomplishments is where I get my bitter vibe from. Do you mean to tell me that everyone who you go on dates with are jobless losers? If not, then why are you still single? Right, it's because your success and your hypergamy are colliding and making you think you're higher status than you are and that if he isn't 10.0 GPA with an 8" cock and a 10 figure salary he's not worth your time or pussy.

[Nuqood]

No, you merely stroked your ego. Keep insulting me, baby; I love seeing serial daters with 'dignity' getting mad at the truth.

https://cdn.sheknows.com/articles/2014/10/DWTS.gif

[jessicorn]

omg this needs to be top comment

[Quacken]

Thats your problem right the whole "what is he going to do for me" attititude he's going to be there. When you need him thats it.

[myTake Owner]

Need him for what? What is a gold digging fuck boy going to do for me when he relies off my money just because he saY's three irrelevant words? Boy, get your stupid argument in check

[meatballs21]

If you want to talk about standards, how about the fact that someone who has supposedly earned Editor status posting an inflammatory, sexist diatribe like this and having it *promoted* by the site? And then attacking anyone male who dares criticise it and calling them 'fuckboys'? I bet the site's advertisers would be delighted.

[Touglyforfemales]

she's female they get away with a lot of crap on here.

[Monsters]

I agree😕 . Seems stuck up to me. My boyfriend is in the army does not make a lot of money and yet i am proud of hjm.
Her mistake is this
True love is soul to soul
Love is not physical
Love is not bought and neither is respect.
I love my boyfriend he loves me.
And we respect each other.
This take makes me mad

[ImSoSozzled]

Not that I disagree with this take because I think everyone deserves someone who treats them well, but if a girl ends up in a string of relationships with terrible guys, she has to do more than just raise her standards. Not learning from your mistakes (and always blaming guys as the source of the problem) means there are internal issues to work on before you're ready for real commitment with a "high standard" person, because those types of people can see a potential train wreck relationship from a mile away and steer clear.

[needsanswers100]

I think this is an interesting take and has a lot of good points. I come from a family with means and intelligence in North East U. S and my family has high standards for both men and women in the family so I can relate to a lot of the advice. However, I would like to hear your opinion about a guy who doesn't have much money but is a great boyfriend, is amazing at sex, and never asks you for money. I think women find it harder to make a decision about a guy when he posses a mix of good and bad qualities.

[moistycakes]

I was really excited to read this because I do need to learn to have higher standards and not settle for less than I deserve but damn... this is some bitter self praising stuff.

[Calex]

You took the words right out of my mouth.

[moistycakes]

@Calex Shocking isn't it?

[Calex]

Indeed.

[Anonymous]

It's funny, you try to put this on man who worked at a super market. Honestly men can be whatever they want to be, is YOUR choice to get involved with an individual like that. Ruthlessness works great in relationships too, by been romantic and not not objective people tend to get into situations they later regret. You had to have that awful experience to learn what you don't want in your life and which are your standards. Either thank the guy for the help he gave you, or keep seeing him as the worse thing... I mean honestly, that guy has nothing more to lose.

[Not_A_Perv]

I agree with you about high standards. In gifts though, I think a man will invest what he feels is most valuable for him if he wants you to feel special. It may be money, but its not necessary. For example, I gifted my girlfriend with a self-prepared greeting card with poems that I had written for her all, and how much i love her written all over it. I'm not an art-n-craft person, so it was not easy, but I did it for her. It didn't cost me much but the effort and emotion I put into it is priceless for me. No readymade gift, no matter how costly, will, for me, stand upto the one I made for her. Maybe its only me who feels this way, but I thought I should mention it.

[THEALIster]

Be content... I want a man who is content. I work to live and eat, and have a few money on the side to treat myself, money is not my life, and it doesn't determine anyone. ... certainly I'll never take care of a man, and the thought of a grown man working at subway makes me wonder why he at least isn't the manager yet. His job doesn't determine my love for him.
As Alicia Keys would say
"Some people want diamond rings, some just want everything"
I don't care too much about material things, it's the principles behind a man's actions that let me know he cares.

[Anonymous]

If you always have such high standards then you'll never get a boyfriend. Sorry sweetie but money doesn't buy love. Spoil yourself and learn to be grateful that the guy who worked in a supermarket actually cared for you and probably wasn't some jerk that was trying to get in your pants. He may not be as rich as you but that doesn't mean he can't love you. Again, money can't buy love. Like someone said in the opinions, you buying them something makes you feel like a man but he should because you have a vagina. And you shouldn't because you're so rich despite that he could be broke. Tell me how that isn't sexist. I dare you.

[Marshmallowfighter18]

This is great. I love it. I do want to say that when people have high standards, I think they should be able to live up to their standards themselves. Obviously, you're doing great, but if Mr. Subway sets high standards, I think he needs to meet his standards. You see what I'm saying? Otherwise, it is just stupid.

[apexalpha]

I agree with having high standards but not to the point where it becomes an accountants balance sheet

so if a great guy comes along who earns a couple of grands less than you will you let him go?

"You know I might as well be a lesbian because some of you trifling ass males don't know how to be a man if it sodomized you." You also sound a bit snobish and conceited I'm sure no one wants to be a low paid worker some don't have the luxury of getting a degree for various reasons that life throws at them so should they be let down NO!

[Scrambledagain]

I love a good rant lol, I feel you and understand you. But I'm gonna throw it back and say this is the reason why good genuine, established, guys get really pissed at women because some dumbass had the beautiful starfishlover while the ambitious guy is jerking off to porn. the FACT of attraction and something that pick up artists use all the time is that what women are attracted to emotionally in the moment is different from their longer term wants. So all a guy needs to do is spark that initial want and once you attracted... you attracted. Doesn't matter if the guy is the biggest loser or not. You only find that out after the fact. Some brilliant guys don't know how to spark this initial attraction (I struggle) and so women miss out on these guys. True life example: my bassist friend is a dirty bastard (hygiene wise), lives with his parents at 32 (washed out druggie) vs me who is an established business guy, lead guitarist, healthy, have my six pack, and yet drug boy gets the girls.

[Anonymous]

Well I never wish bad shit on people but I actually hope that you go through some tough shit like your career being ruined because of some unfortunate twist of fate, or a medical condition leaves you destitute and on welfare. Your attitude and opinions are so off from reality and so pathetic that you deserve to walk in someone else's shoes- someone who really struggles with life. You would deserve it and need some humility badly. Obvouslly your lack of real intelligence will catch up to you. Good luck with your hollow pathetic misguided expectations in life.

[Chief16]

Lady, if you want a high standard guy, first of all, make sure you meet his standards. I'd rather dedicate my life in following my own path with my own conviction than live upto somebody's standards. Maybe you should follow this up with 'Guys Don't Lower Your Standards'.