Want to Know Why Men Stare at Women But Never Approach?

The reasons why men stare at women but don't approach!!!

I have seen a lot of women ask why men stare but don't talk to them. A lot of it comes down to how many women treat us when we do talk to them. We often get called "creeps" just from saying "hi" to a woman, we get told to "fuck off" and SOME women start massive drama just from saying "hi" to them. It is not an easy task approaching women.

The following video shows how a lot of men get treated when just saying "hi" to a woman. Now I know this video is on the street and I would never just talk to a woman on the street but the women in this video are treating these men how a lot of men get treated when saying "hi" at the coffee shop, library or wherever.

Put yourself in men's shoes. If you got treated like this just for saying "hi" to a woman you would lose your confidence in approaching as well and we all know when something happens people will automatically believe the woman even if she was in the wrong.

Now before anyone goes off in some rant about how I am bitter or whatever I am not. I am just saying how society is. All I am saying is stop falsely accusing men of being creeps just from saying "hi." It can and does destroy a man's reputation and if he has done nothing to deserve it then that is very unfair. If a man really is being a creep then by all means put him in his place, as I understand some men are creeps but please stop falsely labeling men as creeps that are not creeps. A man is NOT a creep just from talking or approaching a woman. SOME men are creeps; just like SOME women are creeps but NOT all men or all women are creeps.


Men and women are designed to love each other not hate each other.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Excellent and truthful take! I've actually seen females treating guys like dirt for no reason. Maybe it's an ego problem. Whatever it is women like this know they're wrong for what they do... they're just jerks is all. Good take! #speakthetruth #truth

    • Thank you my friend. You are the first woman to comment so you get the extra point as well. I know what you mean about women treating men like dirt for no reason I have seen women do that as well. I think some women have such a massive ego and act so entitled. I am pleased you like my take.

Most Helpful Guy

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What Girls Said 8

  • I like your take, some women's behaviour towards guys who approach them is uncalled for and its disrespectful. I actually prefer guys to have a more straightforward approach by saying hi to me. But I just seem to attract guys that lurk around and never talk to me. I was once shy and know how it feels, but none of my crushes ever took me by the hand. So I had to learn the hard way and overcome my shyness.

    • Yes, thank you. You see women like you I have more respect for.

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    • It just makes me mad when some women say well men need to grow balls or man up and just talk to us when most of the time it is those very women that abuse men that do talk to them.

    • Yeah, that makes me mad too. The bunch of hypocrites. But put a shy guy and woman together, no one acts on it and the men say the same about shy women. Haha man up. That's what I was told many moons ago when I was shy. But, I did it and I'm proud of myself for doing so.

  • Thanks for the link, and I definitely think the responses from the women were uncalled for. I actually hate feeling like I'm being mean, so if a guy approached with hi, I definitely tend to stop and shyly and embarrassingly muddle through lol. But what I don't stop for, but still usually at least give a thanks to are the guys that holla' some comment about my body lol. I say thanks and keep rollin. Good take! = )

    • I agree some of the women's responses here are just trying to turn it around to make it men's fault when if a woman acts that way she is the bad person not the man. They just don't want to admit a woman is doing something wrong which I find immature. Yes, I can understand you not stopping for a comment yelled about your body and I am pleased you like the take it is just sad some people are butthurt so easy.

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    • @BubbleBoy69 There are people out there who rape, murder, abuse people but that all of the sudden make those things okay because "this is life". Anyway, I've said all I have to say for now.

    • Well the thing about rape, murder is that their are clear guidelines put in place that it is wrong and no matter what you look like your going to go to jail for the action.

      However, when it comes to creep shaming or cat calling. It always depends on whether the woman find you attractive and is receptive to it. We can't create a law punishing a men for cat calling because it would be a bias law where only average/ugly men would be punished and good looking guys would get off scott free.

      A perfect example of cat calling being appreciated when a girl is in a party, and a drunk, pretty frat boy says words similar to what you mention ealier. Many girls are not only receptive with it but would smile and play along. A less attractive male would be met with scorn and girl giving him mean look.

      The double standards are there. Attractive guy gets away with it and therefore more confident. Unattractive/average guy is demonize to express himself and so is less confident.

  • I have been guilty of this ( I make eye contact, smile and say 'Oh no thanks... I have to go') but to be fair I am guessing those guys don't get hit on like that numerous times a day and they don't have to worry about her being able to out power them if the situation takes a turn for the worst. I've also been screamed at and followed because people felt entitled to my time. If I don't know you I don't want to stop and talk to you on the street, I don't feel comfortable or safe. If something ends up happening to me the court could say I asked for it by dressing or talking in a certain way or just from "putting myself in that position". I just feel more comfortable not being put in that situation so I try to just get as far away from that situation as possible. Yes it maybe not the nicest way to deal with the situation but I haven't found a better solution yet. I'll be 30 next year so hopefully this starts to die down a lot with age.

    • I guess the making eye contact and smiling and then saying "no thanks" is because you are shy? If you get hit on a number of times a day you don't have the right to treat people like shit. I can see how you worry about a guy being able to out power you but treating some men like shit will put you in more danger. Having said that the screaming at you and being followed is very wrong. I have already said in my Take I used that video because it shows how women treat men when not in the street to. I made that point very clear SMH… I don't believe the court would ever say you asked for it for any reason it is usually men that have trouble proving they are innocent not women. I don't consider the way you treat men to be acceptable to be honest.

    • You are the one with the bad behaviour so don't complain about men being shy to approach women if you are going to treat men like that. Also don't tell them to "man up or grow balls" and just talk to women. You are just not taking responsibility for the poor way you act towards men. You are wrong and there is no need to treat men like that. Smh…

  • Great question

    I have a situation maybe people can comment opinion?

    Me and my best friend S we go bowling every week there's two guys we think are attractive Who work there (Recently found out there brothers) anyway when we bowl apparently according to S they look at their phones then will constantly look at us, phone us , phone us throughout the night. We gone there so many times they practically know us. Anyway so they will look or stare when we bowl and my friend S always looks and catches them. I look at them too but not as much as S anyway when I look they do look at us. Towards end of night they will bowl in a different lane and will look at us according to S (honestly don't know how accurate she is) there's time they look at us and seem interested but there's other times they will stand and flirt with other girls. Or not be joking around with us like normal. Also one of the brothers who I like when I "bug" him for stuff he "acts" at least I hope so annoyed with me and will roll or shake his head and smirk or laugh and will say what do you want?

    Mixed signals!!!

    All we know about them is:
    There brothers

    We don't know if:
    There ages
    If and who is into me or S or even into us at all

    Any input helpful thanks

  • I know exactly what you mean and i do agree.

  • All they did was ignore him though?
    I try to do the same thing when I'm alone.
    I'm not interested nor am I obligated to say hi back and chat with every single guy who approaches me on the street.
    But then again I don't complain about guys not approaching.

    • That is not true. Saying "fuck off" is rude. It is not needed and the other women were rude to. I agree no one is obligated to talk to a person but they don't need to be rude like those women to men that have not done anything wrong. If the man won't leave after being told to I can understand but for that to be the first thing a woman says is rude.

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    • Yeah, so it is no surprise men have lost their confidence in talking to women if that is the very first thing they are going to get back.

    • Yup.

  • Well thats a nice myTake - but answer me this then, I dont call guys creeps or tell them to fuck off. But guys just STARE at me like I have 10 heads but NEVER approach. Why? Im one of those girls that will actually talk to them (no im not desperate), a conversation would be nice on a bus if a man is staring.

    • Lol don't worry I don't think your desperate. The problem is those women that do call men creeps and to fuck off. Men don't know you would actually like to talk to them so they just give up because they know if there is drama then they won't be believed. The women that are so rude destroy it for women like you. They stare at you because they really want to talk to you.

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    • so what happened to you?

    • I'm still a guy who would chance it I am looking for a best friend /friend possibly love of a lifetime and time is still moving on so always open to the chance at a love of a lifetime... Hugz so hi smiles n hugz. 🍀🐶🍀

  • lol ya i know how men get rejected im a tom boy lol


What Guys Said 27

  • I'm sorry, I just stopped barfing rainbows.

    Step out of your sheltered cave, put the memory of like the handful of girls that have just said "no" to what you wanted in life, and cope with what every child has to learn to cope with in life... not getting what they want.

    That's not reality. That's fear. That's catastrophic thinking. It's not real. Is it "possible," sure. Is it probable, no. Why?

    I had a client who had full blown narcissistic personality disorder with a side of bipolar I. He would actively seek out antidepressants to fall back into the high of being manic. He was addicted to mania, as many people with bipolar are. Because of this, one of the many lovely parts of his personality was his compulsive playing of the "Try and Collect" (TAC) game. The joke was, he was allergic to signing any document. In truth, he was allergic to being held accountable and responsible. Finally, a creditor dragged him to court, using his name as the first named defendant on the complaint. The plaintiff then scanned a copy of the publicly filed complaint, and linked it across the Internet. Now, every time someone searched his name, the complaint was on the first page of Google. It didn't take long for that case to settle. Why?


    Women, no matter how nasty any particular person may be to her core, are intimately aware and very cognizant of their reputation. Women will move mountains to protect and avoid damage to their reputation.

    So, women have to balance between the narcissistic reward of feeling desired and wanted by men, or the power trip of rejecting someone brutally, against the cost these actions will have of their reputation. The individual woman doesn't control her behavior because of the effect it will have on other women as a whole, and certainly not because of the effect it will have on men.

    If she develops a reputation for rejecting guys hard, or being "very picky," or being "a tease," then quality male opportunities will avoid or evade her, and focus their energy and resources on alternative female opportunities that present a higher chance of success and a lower risk of emotional injury or loss.

    Women know this, are aware of it, and act accordingly when a man approaches them.

    • Actually this take is exactly how many women treat men that try and talk to them a lot. I don't agree with your views at all. Many women are extremely rude and crude when men talk to them and yes they are like this to men that have done nothing wrong and have not been creepy as well. The video shows what many women are like.

    • All I am getting from you is another person not wanting to admit the truth because it is a woman doing something bad.

    • You go on about what you think is rude which is not but your opinion is very rude.

  • #1, the video is fake/setup with actors.

    #2, you are a creep if you just go up to a women and say "hi". Say something to start a conversation. Saying "hi" just puts the obligation to start the conversation on the other person which is an extremely rude and unattractive thing to do. If you don’t know how to talk to strangers take an improv class or something. Is a woman going to be interested in this conversation?:

    How are you?
    Good, how are you?
    Nice weather outside.
    Yeah it’s not raining today.
    Yeah that's cool.
    Can I have your number?
    Eww! No.

    Or is a woman more likely to be interested in a conversation like this?:

    Excuse me, which aisle is the Barbecue sauce in?
    What? Oh, sorry, I’m not sure I don’t work here.
    Are you sure? Just a minute ago I saw a guy stocking shelves wearing that exact same outfit.
    Lol, yes I’m sure!
    Hi, my name’s Jason, you look like you’re not from around here.
    Hi Jason, my name’s Ashley. How could you tell? I actually just moved here from California last year and…

    #3, approaching women in public is a skill that needs to be learned just like anything else. You’re probably not going to be a pro at it the first time. The more you practice the better you’ll get.

    • I do not agree with everything you just said.

    • This is why I don't agree with you:

      1. The video shows exactly how many women do treat men when men talk to them.

      2. Actually no you are not a creep if you go up to a woman and say "hi." That is not what creepy is. Saying "hi" is not an extremely rude thing to do, actually it is a friendly thing to do and people that find it unattractive need to be more understanding of the fact that maybe the person is shy. Saying "hi" at the start does not mean that the conversation is necessarily going to go bad and a woman saying "ew" is extremely rude. The behaviour you have listed here about what you think is creepy and saying "ew" is exactly what is causing the problem of men not approaching or taking to women anymore. The second conversation does have more confidence but as you saw in the video if men are treated by women how the women in the video treated those men they are going to lose confidence and not talk to women and that is only women's fault.

    • 3. The video shows exactly how women in public treat men a lot of the time.

      Your views have no logic at all and all they are doing is defending women, saying women in this situation are not in the wrong when it is. All I am getting from you is that you are one of these people that thinks women can do nothing wrong ever even when they do and I don't have any time for this.

  • Yeaaaaaah. The anxiety of that being possible makes me not approach women. I've only done it in the past when they give me a rather obvious look. I don't talk to them at all, unless it's in some environment where we're introduced or she talks to me.

    Although, as a male, you also have to be able to read their signs. If you can tell she's a bitch before you even try, then you can spare yourself some bitchiness. You can't approach them when they're on the phone or are ostensibly in the middle of something, either. I think a lot of men might mess that up by incorrect timing.

    The chick who dressed up as a dude is a good source, too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ip7kP_dd6LU

  • Men stare at women then don't approach because they get nervous. In my experience approaching only a small handful of girls are bitchy and they are not that hard to deal with, you just shrug your shoulders and move on. Call her a b**h under your breath if it really helps (I try not to even do this).

    As for me, reasons I sometimes stare but don't approach (I approach a lot, just not always the instant I see a hot girl):

    - I'm thinking about going over but then decide that this is not the best possible situation to go over.
    - This could be because: there's too many people around; she is with a lot of friends (especially if some of those friends are male, that's tough for me); she is on her phone (laptop I can deal with); she is in a rush to get somewhere; or she just looks busy in general.
    - Sometimes I do this if I think she is playing mind games (e. g. she saw me looking, then started playing coy, hot & cold whatever)

    I never stare for too long though - don't want to be seen as a creep.

    • I don't fully agree with what you're saying.

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    • most guys do not approach anywhere nearly as correct as they think but that's all I'm going to say now.

    • Yeah, well I am talking about the ones that do it correctly and still have women act that way. Anyway, I don't think there is anything more to talk about.

  • I would also say that the fact that their is no uniformity anymore in how to approach women also hurts. If you approach and are cocky you just want sex and are an asshole, you are reserved then your boring, if your respectful a pushover. If you try to pay your a sexist asshole, if you don't pay your a cheap asshole. If you hold the door your a sexist bigot if you don't hold the door your a jerk who doesn't know how to treat a lady. Damned if you do damned if you don't. Under the circumstances trepidation is unsuprising.

  • This is a good question and take. The girl got shot down a bunch of times and I would have probably as well, or maybe coffee date. But she's too aggressive, it seems not genuine... like she wants something from them, and that's why she got turned down so much in my view anyway. When it is fake... male or female, the other person can pickup on it. When it is genuine, you have a better chance.

    And that is where creepy comes in from guys... girls are insecure, easily threatned and get approached so much (some of them) they just reflex turn guys down. you have to do it the right way and it works. It can work as a routine for a guy... probably easier that way to keep the emotion out of it. Or genuine. It takes work to manage your emotions. Watching players will help you see what they do and how this works... definitely works male -> female, not sure that works as well female -> male.

  • Nice my take. Though it is not always that they have been hurt before. My I set my freind up perfectly to talk with on of my female freinds durring an event. They were both sitting alone. I suggested that she go sit next to him and talk. I told him she is next to him so talk with her. He just shyly stayed on his phone without even looking at her. She patiently waited about 4 minutes for him to at least say hi. However he never did. Now I did not set them up on a date or say that one liked the other. My freind just does not have the confidence to initiate a conversation. He does not have the experience to. I wish I had sat down next to them and started it. So they would at least have said hi to each other. Some guys just never got the confidence to initiate conversation with a women. I have had a lot more practice and have several female freinds to learn from so I'm confident enough from that. However I would still need a push talking to a girl that I'm infatuated with.

  • True

  • Thi is such an amazin MyTake. Wow! That is so so so true. That is the main reason why we dint approach because women like the ones we saw in the video act that same way towards us men!

    • Yes, that is very true and I am so pleased you like my take so much. It took about an hour to do this take because I wanted to make it good.

    • Man let me congratulate you because this MyTake should be read and seen by every single woman on earth so that they understand! Good job!👍

    • Wow! thank you so much. I needed a compliment right now after how I have just been treated.

  • you could reverse this and say why dont women approach if they are staring? there are reasons why women dont approach. they get scared of exactly the same thing us men do, and its called rejection. its not the so called norm for women to approach as its supposedly the mans job to do that, but as people have rightly pointed out imagine how many times certain women get hit on a daily basis? you just become another one of those random guys that have hit on her. then stereotypes starting getting involved.

    its the same thing on dating websites, imagine how many messages girls get from random guys then you hear guys moaning about how some dont respond.

    im going to be honest here but i would never approach a girl when theyre doing their daily routines. its definitely a higher percentage that you'll get rejected if a girl is in a rush even if they find you attractive.

    i think we think too much about these types of sitiations. i hear what you're saying but there are many other factors as to why a woman might not respond positively to a 'hi'.

    • I don't agree with your view.

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    • I just don't agree with making cop outs for how women behave. There is too much of letting women get away with anything because of their gender in society.

    • im not im just saying how i can see why women react in the way they do. that doesn't make it right. I've seen how some lads have been treated and it really isn't right. i remember tapping a girl on the shoulder about 10 years ago in a shop when we were in the queue. i knew her but she didn't recognise me and she just disappeared very quickly. i was like that was embarassing and awkward haha

  • i got told to 'do one' when i approached a girl. This girl was in my college and knew me a little bit, i asked her for her phone number one day and she said that, and then everyone in my college made fun of me. She spread this so much. It was the worst.

    I haven't approached a girl since. And it has given me a confidence issue. And women dont really care.

    • Yes, you see this is what happens. The women that do act this way act this way and then don't care how it affects the man and then just say the man needs to "man up, or grow some balls"

      @Reflexy this guy's situation is way too common.

  • You are so right mate, girls can be very cruel sometimes, great Take.

  • This Mytake pretty much tells it like it is. This is the reality. Although, I think it's mostly because women get approached so damn often. Imagine bums asking you for change constantly, that's how very attractive women feel after a while. But it's also this societal thing, women feel like they almost have to reject men; it's kind of odd really. But yes, the double standard, of we are supposed to approach women, but shouldn't approach women is a little ridiculous. That guy was pretty normal looking from what I saw as well.

    • Women getting approached that often does not give them any right to treat men this way. That guy was not being a creep.

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    • Do you approach unattractive girls? That's what I accused you of, nothing else. Look man, all I'm saying is whining about it is not going to make it better; it will make it worse. It's better to figure out creative ways to approach girls, then to be super upset because they reject you "hello, I'm another random guy that's walked up to you that's not diver ably different than the last twelve"

    • I do not approach any girls now. You accused of more than not approching unattractive girls you accused me of being self righteous which I am not. Women that are rude and crude for no good reason have bad personalities.

  • I agree, women are used to men's friendly reaction to approaching men. Women a lot of the time are hostile and vile

  • And some people wonder, why some men have confidence issues.

  • those girls in the video were savage lol

  • Im always a bit sceptical with these videos because they are probably cherry picking certain responses just to make a point. Personally I've never had much trouble making conversation with strangers. However I have walked up to a person on the street and asked for their number so I dont know about that.

    • Yes, but the point in the video is what actually happens in the real world. Like I said I used that video because it shows what really happens and what many women really do even when it is not on the street which I pointed out in the Take.

  • great take bro...

  • I'll play Devil's advocate however and address the elephant in the room: who even approaches someone randomly on the street anyway? That is creepy to begin with regardless of gender. Now a party, club, event, or somewhere of a more social environment is okay, but randomly on the street or coffee shop is just plain weird to me.

    • Ugg! I covered that "who even approaches someone randomly in the street anyway question." The point of posting that video was because it shows how women treat men at other places.

  • Well, nice that somebody said it.
    I only ever approach if im 100% sure she's cool.

    • Thanks mate. Sadly some got butthurt but I guess that is no surprise.

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    • I hear a lot of women making things up like well women get talked to all the time etc but to me that is no excuse.

    • They do from time to time. But the multiple times a day i think is bullshit. I have yet to meet a woman who gets approached 10 times a day. On the other hand, i do know some women who sometimes get approached and are nice about it.
      Yeah its not an excuse

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