Top 5 Things Guys Can Do to Guarantee a Second Date

Fathoms77
Top 5 Things Guys Can Do to Guarantee a Second Date

The date's over and you're driving home, agonizing over one question: "Will she really want a second date?"

Sure, you parted on good terms; the obligatory "I'll call you" probably passed somebody's lips, there may have been a couple smiles and even a hug. For about fifteen seconds, you were convinced you'd nailed it, that a second date wasn't only probable...it was goddamn inevitable. You were that good and there's no way she'll give you the cold shoulder, not after that stellar performance, which she'll gush about to her friends the instant she gets home.

After a minute in the car, though, the doubt starts to creep in. By the time you're lying in bed that night, you've convinced yourself of quite the opposite: Not only will you not get a second date but chances are, she won't even talk to you again.

Well, here are 5 ways to avoid the agony and doubt.

5. Make eye contact (but not too much!)

Top 5 Things Guys Can Do to Guarantee a Second Date

This is becoming harder and harder for the digital generation, which consists of individuals who are increasingly afraid of their own shadow. Psychology tells us that meeting someone's eyes is one of the most intensely emotional and personal acts humans can do, which is why it's essential in the dating process. The guy who can't make eye contact comes across as insecure or shifty (or both) and neither plucks at a female's heart strings.

Just remember, don't go overboard. Staring at her like a lunatic may trigger her built-in flight response. ;)

4. Smoooooth conversation

Top 5 Things Guys Can Do to Guarantee a Second Date

The art of conversation isn't necessarily dead but sometimes I feel it's at least on life support. Unfortunately, even those who believe they're conversational wizards actually turn out to be absolute train wrecks. They think talking a blue streak or simply remaining mute while the other person spins out a complete life story is, you know, "talent." The ebb and flow of good conversation is what makes it appealing and even intoxicating. Not only must the tonal quality shift about (naturally, mind you) but the topics should shift as well.

If it's getting a little dark - which can happen if you start discussing exes - tactfully shift gears to something brighter. If you're still on banal and trivial topics when the entree arrives, it's time to take things up a notch. But a notch; don't climb the entire damn ladder all at once.

3. Find the common ground

Top 5 Things Guys Can Do to Guarantee a Second Date

I know "opposites attract" can be an accurate maxim but for the most part, you really need to be more alike than not. During your pre-date conversation on the phone, you probably were smart enough to determine the lack of major red flags or deal-breakers; had you spotted any, you wouldn't be on the date, right? Well, now's the time to dig into what both of you enjoy, what you agree upon, etc, because this facilitates closeness. Here's a great chance to get her to laugh, especially if you hit on something that most people don't like, but both of you do. On top of which, she'll appreciate your interest in her interests.

And by the way, if you haven't figured it out already, this is a springboard to future encounters. "Oh, you like hiking? Me too, I love it! We should plan one."

2. You're attracted without being overtly sexual, you're interested without being obsessed, you're close without being all over her, you're...obvious and mysterious at the same damn time

Top 5 Things Guys Can Do to Guarantee a Second Date

Okay, so it's a challenge. It might take some practice. This is the art of body language and non-verbal communication, though not necessarily seduction. A first date really is no place for seduction, in point of fact; it is, however, the perfect opportunity to convey your interest in her without sending the wrong message or making the wrong impression. You touch her arm or shoulder occasionally but you're not awkwardly trying to hold hands. You're intrigued by her stories but you're not begging for sequels. You're taking her coat, holding her chair, opening the car door, etc, but your hands are all sorts of appropriate, and your actions are simple, smooth, and not ambiguous in the slightest.

At the end of the date, her mind should be filled with the possibilities of being with you.

1. Shy? No. Cocky? Nah. CONFIDENT. Oh yeaaaaaah.

Top 5 Things Guys Can Do to Guarantee a Second Date

Confidence will always be #1. I'm sorry, shy guys, but it's just the way of the world. However, let me add that far too many people mistake confidence for cockiness. Shy guys always say things like, "oh, what am I supposed to do, just act alpha all night?" No, that's cockiness and generally a colossal turnoff for most women (well, most non-frat girls, at any rate). Or the insecure man will say, "I'll look and sound stupid if I start bragging or acting all tough." Again, that's cocky. And stupid, I might add.

Confidence is simply you being you. That's what confidence is. There are no masks or acts or veils in the realm of confidence; the instant you start hiding behind something, or inventing something, you've left confidence behind. We all have flaws and we've all got problems. Insecure, nervous, extremely shy people can't accept them, believe they'll be mocked if they simply put it on the table in front of another human and go, "this is me."

Yeah, well, do it anyway. Not only is it immensely attractive (and you don't have to take my word for it; just ask any woman), but it also sets the stage for a successful relationship. Why? Well, because masks, hiding, acting, etc, has no place in such a connection, of course. ;)

Top 5 Things Guys Can Do to Guarantee a Second Date

One final test:

If I end this myTake by saying, "Class dismissed," is that confident or cocky?

It's confident if that's who I am. If I believe I'm a dating or love guru of sorts, and I honestly think I could teach Will Smith's character in "Hitch" a thing or two, then yes, it's confident. Otherwise, no, it's cocky because it's an act, a facade. And in my case, it is indeed nothing but an act and hence, inanely cocky. :)

Top 5 Things Guys Can Do to Guarantee a Second Date
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Most Helpful Girl

  • pooper89
    One thing I've noticed is that a lot of guys just have a hard time being themselves because they're so nervous. Be yourself enough to where you reveal your personality the girl can get to know you. Otherwise you're just like another frog in the book
    Is this still revelant?
    • pooper89

      Skip to 04:06-04:53

    • Loll lol One of the funniest things I've ever seen!!

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guy

  • OlderAndWiser
    Good style, good content. Ends with just enough self-deprecating humor to tell us that the author is not all ego. I'll give it five stars!
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

1019
  • Puppylove94
    Yeah I'd agree with this take. I will say tho that most of the things you can't really "do". They just "are".

    A guy can't make the conversation flow. If the chemistry is there, it will just happen.
    • abw121290

      I agree with you! You either can or can't make conversation flow and be natural

    • Fathoms77

      @abw121290 Chemistry is part of it. Conversational skills is another part. Discourse ability isn't entirely about chemistry at all; this would imply that a romantic connection means the conversation will flow easily and in fact, that's not always the case.

      For the most part, I can make a conversation flow with anyone, regardless of connection.

    • Rahdle

      I agree with @Fathoms77. I could have total chemistry with a girl and easily still manage to have the roughest comversation ever. There's definitely a skill there and I simply don't have it yet. Workin on it though

    • Show All
  • 10dsw
    Oh man paying for the date was not included here...

    Uh oh, open the flood gates, the tides of butthurt are about to blow!
    • Unit1

      WOOOOOOOOOOOooooooshhhhhhh came the entitled gold digging princesses expecting free meals :P :)

      But for reals, in my opinion the one, who organized the date is usually the one, who is supposed to pay and you can take turns, or you can always go on cheap/free dates, which I highly would advise.

    • 10dsw

      @Unit1 I have always gone on free dates. It's 2016, I ain't paying for anyones' food =P

    • Unit1

      Hi-Five ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)/

  • feminismisnarcissism
    good mytake.

    i'd add - read signals. you must know your audience. if she's nervous, you make her comfortable by smiling and doing most of the conversation work. if she's excited about a topic-roll on that topic. be natural, but effective and the most important thing is-make it FUN. girls love to laugh...
  • ginger569
    I agree with most, and perhaps I'm old fashioned (47 years old) but if I guy doesn't tell me to text/call him so he knows I made it home ok... he won't get a 2nd date. So that's on the list for me too.
  • TripleAce
    You forgot probably the most important top 5. Cover all the bills for that night

    Most women go home thinking it didn't go as smooth because he didn't pay

    One girl told me she judges how her date has went by if he covers the bill Or doesn't. Im sure she's not alone
  • Unit1
    About that confidence, that was necessary :) Glad I'm officially confirmed confident now hehe.

    About that "act alpha" thing, that was also very true ^^ I personally see that as being insecure.

    Aaaand of course the paying is, which makes the real deal for a second date. It's almost inevitable I guess.
  • Guy83
    I mean if you have any chemistry it will be evident and she will want a second date if you do. But if you seem like you're stressing it, she'll probably feel that too. Women are fickle, they can sense insecurity. If you aren't naturally confident, then I think it would complicate matters. You almost have to play a mind game with her.
  • vishna
    Be nice, ask questions, show some humor (if that's you), don't go dark and negative and ask about sex/be creepy.
  • Frankie1G
    Too bad i dont know what to say or do.. But at least i am not so ugly, girls usually just come up to me and i just take them home after some drinks ayee
  • RedHood7
    Got a question tough. Once I saw a post (not even sure if that's true or not) saying that the japanese believed everybody has 3 faces, one we show the world, another we show to people we trust, and our true face/identity. Even tough it's probably BS, I thought the idea to be pretty accurate. How deep should I go with your "be yourself and confident about it" advice? I mean, I think everybody tried actually being themselves at least once, and in all likeability you end up showing deffects and weaknesses that will destroy your entire attractiveness...
    • I mean it's a concept that's been pretty well established in psychology. I mean, we all act different (for the most part) when we deal with friends vs strangers vs alone... Like, I don't call my parents cocksuckers nearly as much as I do with my friends. I'm gonna blast that new 1d song by myself, but sure as shit won't tell anyone else 😂 ... Anyways, it's has more to do with how comfortable you personally are than, what level you should be at in terms of how you act towards your date. No one likes everything about a person so it's a bit more nuanced and feeling out the person you're interacting with

      For example, you might think farts are funny, but you probably have enough common sense to know not to fart around her. And if you want a sure fire way of making sure she clicks with you, just ask her the most basic open ended questions imaginable. That way, you don't have to risk turning her off and she's telling you everything she finds interesting... She's basically doing all the work

    • And I was kidding about the 1d thing... Or was I? 🤔

  • Zinkr7
    Yea, and I'd need to get a first date first. Something which would never happen, lol.
  • bloodmountain1990
    I don't know if guarantee is the right word but they do help.
  • Afrochick
    And pay for the date LMAO
    • Rahdle

      I'd think that goes without saying, but it really doesn't these days haha. But yeah, if you want a second date, pay for the damn first one. Duh

    • @Rahdle unfortunately it DOES have to be said.

    • LMAO, I just love the butthurted guys downvoting your comment. To those guys, do not complain when your date ghost ur cheap ass.

    • Show All
  • Alex88F
    good i'll keep that in mind when i'll get to the first
  • Castleguy25
    Totally disagree. You can like a tool and get away with it.
    • Zinkr7

      Totally disagreeing meanings that this wouldn't guarantee a second date.
      Another method getting a second date sometimes would not disagree with this.

  • SarahsSummer
    Well said. Good mytake💟
  • Sara413
    Can't disagree with any of this!
  • RainbowFanGirl
    Good myTake. :)
  • Manindark
    And i farted thats 6.
  • Travonjones
    F--k her right in the pussy.
    • Or in the ass and then in the face. Then make sure she doesn't try to hijack it for 18 years of indentured servitude and financial rapage.

  • Anonymous
    Pay the diner.
  • Anonymous
    To all of those guys that talk about how important it is to pay for everything on the first date or to be a gentleman. Just bear in mind that many of those same women have at some point, received a late night text from a man and have gone over to his place for some fun. What ever way you look at it, you are only dating her to convince her of something. Why didn't the other guy need to do that?

    So all of you guys going on about paying and being a gentleman are just being taken for fools. In this day and age of hookups, promiscuity and double standards, not to mention the ''I'm an independent and powerful woman (but only when it suits me) that wants equality'', there is no longer anything worth paying for.
  • Anonymous
    And don't call her a dirty whore when she's giving you the end-of-date blowjob. On a first date, women like to be seen as a good girl and hard to get. Let her think you respect her and shit.
  • Anonymous
    Im confident and well hung so I don't worry about the need for a second date I just slap my large and thick meat pole out on the table and then its back to mine for desert, why would I want a second date when bitches can't resist a booty call
  • Anonymous
    And 6) be yourself and if girl doesn't like you for that, its her fault. you're handsome , don't read butthurt women on here. Most of them sad and lonely and make up shit on intetnet and probably gonna downvote this
  • Anonymous
    So confidence is basically being vulnerable and allowing yourself to be such? I like this outlook. I'd never thought of it that way before.
    • kind of-it DOES mean you can be you and you're not scared but proud of that. it means you're "take me or leave me, but this is me". But if you are confident, that's just it-you're not really vulnerable. because if she DID reject you, it wouldn't phase you. it means YOU define you, and you're proud of who you are and can warmly share that with her with minimal fear ABOUT rejection. it also means you're comfortable enough WITH yourself that you can engage HER and who SHE is while offering yourself.

    • Anonymous

      @feminismisnarcissism Ohhh, I see. Yeah, I like that. XD

  • Anonymous
    "4. Smoooooth conversation" This is where I always mess up :(
    • Women can't conversate for shit outside of lame social trends/irrevalent minutia. Try to get them to pry their God aka the smart phone out of their hand.

  • Anonymous
    Thoughts on this matter please.
    Assuming that the first date is the result of a long phone call relationship, can we assume that this couple would have better odds of hitting it off and scoring a second compared to the couple who has not really established a chat history?
    • i would agree completely. phone call history is a requirement. i'm not taking a girl out based on how she LOOKS alone if i actually want to see her. And if i just want to fuck her, I'm not taking her out to dinner lol, fuck that-maybe drinks. if the phone call shows a connection-you bet, i want a real date and that definitely works. connection on phone leads to a great date usually.

    • Anonymous

      @feminismisnarcissism do you find tho that there is a sense of disconnect when meeting for the first time even with the person whom you have been talking to? Or does this hurdle quickly pass upon meeting?

    • Historically I would say yes to some degree-I mean in person IS a whole new ballgame. I used to think a relationship was harder-you know, like 2 puzzle pieces that ALMOST fit together, but we both gotta do some shaving on some edges to make it fit-ie yes, disconnects guaranteed.

      But recently (about a month ago) I met a woman that seemed perfect... like we are perfect. And from the moment I met her (in person) the connection went to 100fold, literally, she took my arm immediately upon us meeting (and hugging, we'd talked on the phone for maybe 4 days) ... like we'd both "come home". There was zero disconnect, she was nervous, but she was adorable. I was nervous but she was totally taken with me... So maybe there's a disconnect UNLESS it's really the right one? tough but good question.

    • Show All
  • Anonymous
    Spot on
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