I am sharing my experience in hopes that this opens many ignorant eyes. I don't need a lecture on what is right and wrong, because my actions are my choice, and it is not anyone's place to just me. Everything happens for a reason.
My best friend of 3 years and also my roommate, Sandra was a funny, witty and stubborn girl. She exuded a sense of self entitled, and thought that everyone wanted her. In her eyes, she was perfect. Although she had an attitude to her, somehow she managed to attract some quality candidates when it came to dating.
She began dating this Polish guy, named Alex that she met while at work. Besides being a super cute guy, he was very sweet, shy, and had a big heart. I could tell from the way that he treated Sandra, to how generous and kind he was towards her- this guy was a keeper.
It didn't take long! 5 months into them dating, Sandra would b**ch at him in front of our group of friends, demand that he spend all his money and time on her, and consistently talk down to him like he was an imbecile. I remember telling Sandra to tone it down, but she would just laugh and tell me "he likes it".
Well turns out Alex didn't like it. When we talked during our group get togethers, he would confide in me and tell me just how cruel Sandra is. I suggested that he walk away, but he kept telling me that he cared about her and was hoping things would change. Sandra on the other hand, didn't take Alex seriously. It was a fun little game that she played with guys....
One evening I was at home, while Sandra went to see her cousin who lived at the other side of town. I received a knock at the door, and it was Alex. I told him that Sandra wasn't home, and he asked if he could come in and wait- so I said "sure".
We chatted about how things were going, and he reached into his pocket and took out a folded piece of paper. He let me read it, and it was the saddest yet sweetest note. It was essentially a plea for Sandra and Alex to start over, in hopes that maybe things will change. I finished reading and I felt my heart sink.
"Alex, she isn't going to change- you deserve so much better, you're great". I looked at him as I was talking. Alex smiled, and said "she tolerates me, who else would?". I smirked and said "anyone would be lucky to have you". "what about you?" he asked. "I would love to have someone like you" I replied.
It seemed like time was at a stand still, and I was feeling brave and in the moment when I blurted out "you should give people that treat you with respect a chance, I would never speak to you like she does". He was silent for a moment and then replied "would you ever give you and I a try?" I immediately replied, "of course". He was shocked and seemed content, and then said "ok".
I wasn't sure what "ok" meant, but 2 days later, Sandra announced that Alex broke up with her. She wasn't upset at losing Alex, but more agitated at the fact that she wasn't the one to break up with him. After all, who could resist her? I was surprised but glad that Alex had made a move.
I got a text that following evening from Alex, asking if I wanted to see him. I gave Sandra an excuse that my mom needed help with her laptop, as I snuck out. I drove to meet Alex for coffee. He gave me a big hug and was quick to get to the point. "I won't date anyone but you, and I don't want you to date anyone, ok?" I replied, "ok".
From there Alex and I met in secret for about a month, until we ran into Sandra's sister at the bar. No need to get into the details, but I moved out of Sandra and I's residence.
Haven't talked to Sandra since. Alex and I have been together for over a year now and we live together. He is absolutely a gem and a great boyfriend. I am so happy that I had the opportunity to meet him.
This whole situation enlightened me. Women/men don't know what they have until it is gone. They toy with people's feelings, mistreat each other, and take for granted things that other mates would appreciate and wish for, in a heartbeat. I hope that Sandra learned her lesson.