Society Needs Us To Be Obsessed With Sex

[pavlove]

Does it ever feel like you're set up to lose in certain areas of life? Like there's this "dream scenario" that's so hard and so far from what the truth of reality is like? And no matter how unrealistic you logically realize it to be you still wish for it year after year?

Society conditions us to want sex all the time and it does so for a reason. Think about how as a consumer you are supporting the economy. Then think from a producer's standpoint how they get you to consume more products than you need to survive? They need you to have desires and besides food and shelter sex is the ultimate desire most people have.

Let's consider what is gained from a male who is has a very high desire for sex. He will work hard to have money and to a lesser extent power over others. These two things he reasons are necessary for sex with women. Obviously, each man has a belief that these things will bring women which is distinct as well as a distinct ability to get them for himself but whether he admits it or not a big big part of that is his desire for sex. He may want to just get married but if he didn't have sex with her at all his desire to get married would be dramatically decreased. If women did not like powerful men and if "masculinity" was not entrenched in power over others he likely would not care as much for it or pursue it with as much tenacity.

Further, society needs him to have a high drive for sex because he needs to reproduce to keep the species going. This is an obvious one but of course its the reason asexuality is so uncommon. Society wants him to want to impregnate as many women as he can for his best chance of offspring.

Then let's consider the woman with a very high desire for sex. She often gets it when she wants it, true, but it exists in even higher amounts. She will work hard to have money and status so that she can "dress the part" to attract as well as be valued enough in society to attract "the most/best" male partners. From there, she can choose the one or few who she desires most based on her own sexual needs and goals. Go outside and see how few women seem entirely unconcerned with sex, money, or status. I would argue its far fewer than men who walk around unconcerned with how much they're attractive to women. Consider again how even wanting to get married is a desire to have exclusive sexual domain over one person.

THE ANSWER?

But what if none of that mattered. What if you went to the grocery store and you saw that beautiful girl with the really toned butt and you realized she's just a signpost for your own manipulated desire for sex? A desire SOCIETY ITSELF GAVE TO YOU and which you have little to no control over. You were given a desire you were sent out into the world and then you were met with desire objects you had no idea why you felt you needed so badly to be happy. What if instead of being consumed with that desire for her you simply recognized it as a desire you were set up to have but that you won't allow yourself to be manipulated by and treat her just like a person rather than a desire object. You would free yourself from being manipulated into "selling" yourself to get sex with her.

Or if you're a woman/gay and you see a man you desire. Instead of feeling like you need to be high status or that you need to look a certain way to get him to walk over and talk to you, what if you just let it go. You recognized that this man is just a signpost for the sexually desirable "alpha/high status" mate that you're programmed to want to want. What if you recognized that you're equal to him just as you are and that deep down he actually is looking for the you that is equal to him intrinsically instead of the you that is "sexy and high status."

We have to reflect on our sexual desires and ask ourselves if they are truly serving us and if they are healthy. Sure, they're not perversions, but that doesn't mean they're serving our lives in a positive way. If they do not help us value ourselves as equal to others without having to do any work or buy anything or learn any skills then they are distancing us from ourselves. Just food for thought.

[jacquesvol]

It's good for business: sex sells.