About 3 months ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years. We lived together, and our relationship was anything but perfect. We often fought about how he didn't care to find a job and help support our total income, how he refused to take daily showers, and most importantly we fought until it got violent. Things breaking, us screaming... he would often take things way too far. But I invested a lot into our relationship and when he told me he would change- I believed him. The fact that he was loyal, and made me feel special, like I was the only girl for him, made me feel like 4 years was worthwhile. But I was wrong.
It wasn't until the day that he left me stranded at the side of the road, during a routine fight- that I realized we were done. I changed the locks and let him take his things and he moved out for good. He was angry but left. After a few weeks apart, he came around and apologized stating that he loves me, wants to marry me and wants to continue our relationship. Although I missed him I wasn't ready to forgive him and told him that I want to be with him but just need some more time. A month apart however I discovered the real truth about who he was.
1. He went onto Tinder right away
My girlfriend was over at my place comforting me, a month into my ex boyfriend moving out. She was swiping left and right- when all of a sudden she stopped and showed me that the man who I spent 4 years with, who just apologized and told me wants to marry me- was looking for a sex partner on a hookup dating app. I was speechless.
2. He could live without me
After finding out about his Tinder profile, I was very hesitant to communicate with him... and 4 months have passed and he messaged me a handful of times. As if to show me that after all this time together, he can live without me, and my absence doesn't mean a thing.
3. He was angry and self entitled
During the times that he would messages me throughout our breakup, he was angry and demanded that I apologize to him for kicking him out... when he was the one that needed to recognize it takes 2 to make a relationship work.
4. He was a liar and a manipulator
To tell a woman you love that you want to be with her and marry her, and then jump into a hookup app less than a month into the breakup, showed me that he valued sex more than he valued me or our 4 years together.
5. He wasn't the one
I realized that although I thought I knew him, he isn't the one for me. No man that loves a woman would treat her like that, but it was only towards the end that I realized that his priorities weren't me. The breakup truly saved me from a lot more heartache by showing me his true colors.