Guys Don't Play Games, Girls Just Think They Do!

[amandaschwartz]

Guys are pretty simple from my experiences, if they like you - they won't play games. If they want to see you, they will make time. If they care, they will show it. At the end of the day, if you're getting the sense you're part of a hot and cold game, chances are that he doesn't like you that much.

Think about it...

A guy knows that if he waits it out too long, another guy could make a move on you

This is so important to realize. When we get bogged down thinking and analyzing what his actions or lack of actions mean, we spend a lot of time with this back and forth mentality. In the meantime, it is vital to concentrate that the longer he goes without being clear, the higher the chances that your attention could be swayed by another man. If he really wanted you, and saw your value he would be worried that his lack of action, could mean losing you!

If he cares about you, why waste time and play games?

Not many men who cares about you, would rather waste time playing games than being with you, holding you, creating memories etc... it just seems so counter intuitive to think that a man who cares would put you through the pain of not knowing.

Real men don't play these games

SIMPLE. If he is playing games, then he is not a real man that cares for you. A man that has respect for your time and efforts isn't going to act like that! For every game player, there is a good man that could make you happy.

So if you're ever sitting there dissecting whether he likes you with a group of friends, just keep in mind. Men are pretty simple, and as much as we like to think that they hold the traits of mind games... most of the time they are pretty straightforward. If he liked you, he would be with you.

[lumos]

I'm not gonna sit here and say that women never overthink or overcomplicate things, because a lot of us do that. However, neither am I going to pretend that there aren't guys who play games... because there definitely are.
A lot of guys do behave in insecure ways even if they like you. That's usually what playing games is all about. An insecure person who's testing the person they like, simply because they're scared of being hurt and a part of them believes that they're not worth this other person.
I have met so many guys who behave like that: who would ignore a girl's text because they're scared of replying and making a fool out of themselves. Who would cancel last minute, say weird shit and behave in weird ways, just because they were afraid and wanted to see how far they could push the girl and still have her come back. And then if they ever went too far and they managed to chase away the girl, the self-fulfilling prophecy would be complete and they can confidently whine about how the girl was never worth it and that she apparently didn't care just because she had a limit to the amount of bullshit she could take.
I've had a couple of guy friends who would do that, and I would watch these scenarios unfold multiple times. I've also had girl friends be treated in that way by guys they liked.
Men aren't always pretty simple; men can still have baggage, men have feelings, men have insecurities. Just like girls do. And sometimes these things are stopping them from being able to pursue a healthy relationship.
Did you know that most narcissists are men? And narcissists are like the best mind game players of the world.

[lumos]

And what's sad is that you're categorizing men as these simple creatures who are unable to fuck things up and are always straightforward and easy to read... this only perpetuates the idea that men can't be complex humans with (sometimes) contradicting thoughts and emotions. And then because men feel so forced to act and behave "simple", they end up bottling their feelings up and committing suicide.

[Djaaay]

Or she's just talking about mature , real men , not boys like your talking about. Dont insult us mature men and call us abunch of insecure boys. Most mature women hardly have a story such as yours.

[HaveQuestions]

And, she's back. www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a36246-what-i-learned-from-being-a-cheater

[Fuentes]

Lol damn you just explained me in a nut shell, good job i do this too, to test waters sometimes i know it can be cruel but is it worth getting hurt in the long run? Need to make sure she could hold me down

[lumos]

@Djaaay you can call guys like that whatever you want, but they exist. You saying that they're not "real men" does not invalidate their existence or what they feel/how they behave towards girls. I think it's extremely frustrating that people think it's just regular ol' "female behavior" when a girl is kinda acting like a dick by being hot and cold, testing the waters, showing her insecurities, overreacting/overthinking and playing games. Like this is apparently how the majority of girls work. Yet when guys behave like that, apparently it's an isolated issue and something "real men" don't do. Uhh yeah, real men do that shit whether you like it or not because even real men can be illogical and insecure.

[Djaaay]

Your a work of art. Your 22 and bitter as hell preaching about life to a man almost 3 times your experience and age. Since you want to tread down that road , I can tell about some f.. up women and some of their stupid behaviors. Instead if rather refrain from speaking bad about women because I understand most more than you might think. And I don't really have a poor out look on women or life in general. We all go through disparities in life , your not the only one. Maturity solves this...

[lumos]

@Djaaay and you're a 56 year old man dismissing my opinion just because you happen to be 3 times older than me? Like what's your point? Not once did I even get close to saying all men behave like this, and I'm not trying to trash talk men as a whole. I understand you not wanting to associate yourself with this sort of behavior; men treating women like toys. I'm just saying that this sort of behavior does exist and you saying that those guys aren't "real men" is just shoving the issue under the rug and pretending it's not something some men do. If you don't associate yourself with those men then that's great - which is why I don't understand why my opinion seems to have struck a chord in you.

[Djaaay]

About narcisist , you've got it wrong. Try again !!

[lumos]

@Djaaay www.sciencealert.com/study-confirms-men-are-more-narcissistic-than-women-especially-when-it-comes-to-entitlement
:)

[Djaaay]

Those are someone's opinions. All people are different. I'm not narcisitic or entitled. Scietist are people who learn and continue an opinion or hypothesis from the one before them. How on earth do you asumme those scientist can come up with a accurate census on this subject? BS...4 billion people , 4 billion different people.

[bingbaddaboom]

The vast majority of your points are valid. Women, however, are typically more emotionally unstable and this spawns their insecurities. If you were to argue that, for the most part, men are more insecure than women, I would strongly disagree. Games are played by both sexes but only by those people that are insecure. It only takes 1 insecure person to start games, usually (but not always) this is the woman. Women also test men all the time but I don't always see that as derived from insecurities to be honest--- many of them are purely biological. A lot of these tests are to prove that the man is strong and confident because if the woman is going to have offspring, those are desirable qualities. There's definitely several angles about it.

[lumos]

@Djaaay because the research is pretty damn extensive.
"With over three decades of data taken from 470,846 participants and 355 academic journal articles, dissertations, manuscripts and technical manuals, scientists have made a pretty good case for men of all ages being significantly more likely than women to exhibit narcissistic tendencies."

[lumos]

@bingbaddaboom I don't see why you felt the need to go off tangent about women when neither this take nor my opinion was really about women. Move along.

[Unit1]

"study-confirms-men-are-more-narcissistic-than-women-especially-when-it-comes-to-entitlement"

Wow. If we believe this then i must be in the vast minority of it.
Or you know... Select the studies, that are at least credible or worth trusting. I remember studies suggesting, that conclude, that nicotine and alcohol are healthy. And studies, that conclude, that porn is bad and other studies suggesting, that porn is good. Same with masturbation.

I wouldn't trust the internet so much and less so inaccurate studies.

[lumos]

@Unit1 "With over three decades of data taken from 470,846 participants and 355 academic journal articles, dissertations, manuscripts and technical manuals, scientists have made a pretty good case for men of all ages being significantly more likely than women to exhibit narcissistic tendencies."
If you had bothered to actually look at the link.

[Djaaay]

Right now your political correctness and behavior is as a (narcissist.) . Stop generalizing while your at it , it doesn't define most people.

[lumos]

@Djaaay and where exactly did I generalize?

[Djaaay]

Your playing games too!!!

[ManOnFire]

Nice. Funny because I've been wrapping up my own Take about this to come.

[D_Bone_Steak]

In the short game I find myself playing games with women when I have numerous choices at hand, and she's not the most desired choice. I make the beggars jump through some hoops to weed out the non-dedicated. I would vote that females do this too for the same reasons... they shit test just as I do in the situation. It just seems like a female trait because more often than not, it's a female dealing with 4 or 5 salesman all trying to make the sale at once... Not very many dudes do the work (weight lift/diet) and prep like a guy has to in order to receive that kind or amount of attention, thus not anecdotally noticed as often.

In the long game, like a LTR, games might come into play to maintain attention. It's like playing with fire though. So a girl with a straying eye, might become soooo damn attentive towards me when she finds out I have a couple of her gf's trying to sneak around her back to get to me (or right in front of her), but when I happen to not be around... it can end up being her excuse to excuse her to let one thing lead to another without any real justification. All in all I still feel girls play this game more often... generally speaking, if the relationship is secure, established, and no threats to it around, I don't see the male counterpart begging for absurd amounts of attention like I've seen the female counterparts do.

Then again I could be wrong about that, because like I said, usually it isn't the male half of a relationship with excessive amounts of sales pitches being thrown their way. So I can imagine tons of relationships out there where the female is just trying to watch some youtube videos and chill, and he keeps being a demanding child to get her attention.

Personally I think game playing out of the pictures is best. Like when their is no need to play games and both partners are not worried enough to play any game at all. It's rare, but I've seen it. It just takes one partner out of two though, and it effs everything up with the childish games.

[GoodManDave]

I don't play head games with women. Occasionally, the girls will play me. Many will TRY (and they're usually unsuccessful because I've started seeing "the angle" more often). But... most won't bother... I assume that if you can't show up to something you agree to, if you can't give me a call or text me unless you need something, then you're not interested. Fairly simple.

Now, all kinds of people (men AND women) try to play that with my work... and it's frustrating. They will sound EXTREMELY excited about having me work with them. I've been promised jobs, they "love my work," they often take me on tours of the offices to meet people (so I think I'm "almost" hired). And then suddenly disappear off the planet. Now THAT bugs me. But I've learned that words don't mean much until they actually back it up with actions. I have to wait until they sign on that dotted line to count them as a client. But I do still hate that they waste my time, even just making calls, writing emails, etc.

Likewise with dating. I'm not counting anyone as remotely interested until we're going out. And I'm careful about thinking of flirting or heavy flirting as a sign of interest.

[FreshOutaIdeas]

I can agree with this!

As someone who's often treated like a potential player by girls I'm flirting with (therefore interested in), and accused of having loads of them around me, "competing"... All the over thinking a lot of girls do does create unnecessarily awkward situations and guessing games!
And for someone who is such a player or even "male slut" (as said somewhat "jokingly by friends and girls you like), to use your work analogy, its even happened to me. Hot girl starts speaking and flirting with me, we agree to meet again, go out clubbing with a couple friends... She wants my attention and thinks she'll get it by dancing with other guys all for the classic (and archetypal immature) jealousy response. New too well what she was up to, didn't feed the pony. 2 weeks later no reply ro my mssg, out with friends, see her with some other guy. She then follows me round whole night with this other guy in toe, just to get a reaction/confession outa me!!

[FreshOutaIdeas]

Lol sorry for long ass story but you struck a cord in my trail of thought. Us guys, even us "players" are generally straight forward, it really is the girls who over think, over complicate everything, and are constantly going to stupid (and dangerous, sometimes, like in my experience) lengths to seek validation.. Rather than be up front! Yet they want"the man" to do all the walking and talking! Hypocrites!

[NJ_Casanova]

GUYS... don't play games... GIRLS MAINLY DO.

A guys only plays games if he "THINKS" the girl is out of their league.

A Punk-Ass/ piece of shit , will normally will ONLY spend money on the GIRL, if he thinks the is above him/speical. ( A GREAT, indication of that is he's with a few guys, more than 1).

Punk-ass Bitches are always in gangs. A REAL MAN can walk alone or with a good friend.

THAT's why any Piece of shit/DOG/gang banger type are NOTHING BUT BITCHES. IN a GANG if YOU aren't the leader you are a B*tch. Just like every drug leader/ PIMP on the streets (only cares about themselves).

A GUY THAT LOVES A GIRL... WILL ALWAYS, PUT YOUR WELL BEING ABOVE HIS PLEASURE.

If she's drunk enough to NOT drive/can't walk... SHE IS TOO DRUNK. he would make sure she gets home safe.

The worst part of the Female game... is that they don't say what they want. I know females that are "just friends" that flirt the same way that girls that want to hook up do.

The REAL SECRET FOR WOMEN -
Is DO what guys that are into you do.

Guys are physical animals... if you are interested... don't bat your eyes...(all girls do that). rub his arm/shoulders, etc. AND if you want to FK tonight whisper it in his ear.."lets FK" or I want you to do XXX"

Anything else will have a GOOD guy waiting... the BAD guy will jsut grab your ass.

[FreshOutaIdeas]

You know i *mostly* agree with this... But I have to giggle at the classic "REAL MEN don't play these games"...

Whilst its a healthy assumption/assertion to make that one of the many qualities a real man has, is his straightforwardness with all things women and sexy time. The hypocritical aspect of this is when it is said by a woman, who is part of a wider species of human that generally, as a group, are the ones who play the "games"...

There have been a few chicks I've liked before, they seemed shy but also to have liked me right... So I break through the unnecessary shit, and with a mixture of "suave" and "jack the lad", ask if they wanna hang out, name and number etc etc...

Now I'm also aware that ones smoldering looks, personality and body (LOL) can make you girlies melt, and panic when faced with such a scenario... But when a girl that evidently DOES like you, then turns round and says she can't with the usual (often bullshit) response of "my boyfriend" or whatever, expecting you to play along, and then getting upset when she then, 3 months later and long gone, sees you or hears of you taking out some other chick... Well...

This is when, the REAL men, with this additional experience, then realises that most chicks are simply a joke, a GAME... Thus they will be treated like one until THEY can prove to the MAN that they ARE NOT a joke...

Its not about "REAL" men *NOT* playing games, it's that we do also have feelings and emotions too, most chicks forget that. Best to be lighthearted about life rather than let time wasting, attention seeking, and ultimately insecure girls dictate what makes a real man!

[tyber1]

I'm extremely straightforward to the point of bluntness but I have to disagree with the idea that if a guy likes you he would already be with you. That is 100% complete bullshit. Most men will not make a move on the vast majority of women he is interested in. There are a number of reasons for this, including but not limited to:

-He isn't looking for a relationship
-He thinks other women are more appealing (let's be honest, chances are the majority of people you date are not the most attractive people you've ever had an interest in, that's just a reality and you need to accept it: there are other attractive people in the world and probably a bunch of those are more attractive than you, same thing is true the other way around)
-He thinks you already have a boyfriend
-You're one of a bunch of women he sees on a daily basis that is appealing and he simply does not have the time, patience or confidence needed to go out with all of them.
-He is shy
-He likes assertive women
-He thinks you see him as a friend
-He thinks you are out of his league
-He has tried to hit on you and got mixed or negative signals
-He is financially struggling and can't afford to buy dinner for two people all the time, on top of other relationship expenses
-He is interested in more than one person and suffers from decision paralysis
-He is socially awkward
-He is busy
-He got out of a relationship and isn't ready to date yet
-He doesn't know you and doesn't make a habit out of asking out strangers
-You have kids and he doesn't want kids
-One of you wants kids but the other does not
-Different values/culture

[Fuentes]

This is 50/50 we do test the waters sometimes because with woman im 2017 we need to know if your a thot or not, were not just gonna CUFF you because were SIMPLE lol not at all, and every GUY is different were not ALL the same, so each guy will have a one off situation in any encounter, just like WOMEN.

So it's ok for you to ask the question, does he like me? Is he interested? Cause why put yourself in the face of rejection? Because the guy you think is being so simple could just be real FRIENDLY and then you really think he likes you and then you get hurt lol. Nobody can read anyones minds, sometimes realtiondhips just happen, some people have to adk the other or have someone else ask, or a guy could just be way to shy to even make a move.

Also even if we do know there could be another guy some of us not all of us but some are in the mindset that we dont have competition so were ok with waiting it out. Or if he's shy he'll let that happen and regret it later but he'll still move on.

Just know every MALE is different, with a different mindset just like Every Woman is not the same

[Bleh-___-]

You haven't met enough men OP. Mind games aren't a gender issue, it's a maturity issue. Immature people play games in relationships and immaturity comes in all genders. The stereotype that all men are 100% straightforward, rational, emotionally stable, etc doesn't hold true for a surprisingly large portion of guys. I myself can't seem to find a boyfriend because almost every guy I encountered that liked me has either tried to make me jealous, or would try to keep me guessing by being friendly one day and cold the next, and so on.
The purpose of playing games is that it gives immature people instant gratification and validation that the person likes them, regardless of gender.

[Djaaay]

Now your talking !! True...

[Bleh-___-]

@Djaaay Thanksss

[Blake0048]

Ever think maybe its all in your head and you were just perceiving the situation wrong?

[Bleh-___-]

@Blake0048 no

[Djaaay]

@Blake0048. What part of ( immaturity) don't you understand?

[Bananaman177]

I have to agree. Most guys I know including myself are just oblivious to 90% of the games going on in girls' heads.

Women have this whole pecking order thing going on in their heads that is actually mostly about being judged by other women, and I'm telling you, over 90% of men are completely oblivious to it, have no idea what is going on or why, and just think, "Oh, women are just crazy."

Whenever you happen to hear men saying such a thing, chances are that's what they're referring to. They way girls all hate each other, but yet desperately need to impress each other, while having no actual idea what other women ACTUALLY think of them, and just projecting their own impossibly harsh self-criticism onto the imagined female collective hive-mind.

I'm sure men are crazy too, and I'm sure we're blind to it.

That's the trouble with blindspots.

[azzntittiz]

They play games, I always walk away when they do and they end up chasing me. This is the proof that they play games. You can also tell when a man is into you, women who know the men don't want them only act like she doesn't know. Many times they try to make you feel that they can do better because they are terrified of how you make them feel.

An even bigger give away is them cheating or flirting with women not even half your quality, major turn off. I don't want AIDS because you were trying to prove something. Just walk away when they do ladies and don't look back. Many men are immature and don't know what they want.
A man who plays games is never worth it, many times you find out that he was just trying to cover up insecurities, ones that would reveal he's not that great.

[hellionthesagereborn]

I think the only time a guy plays "games" is when a woman forces him to. Like the whole having to wait to call her because otherwise you seem desperate, I don't think that's something guys do, they don't see it that way but women do so you have to wait. Otherwise yes guys are simple, not from a lack of personal complexity but because quite frankly we do not have the mentality or patience to play games, if their is a problem we set out to solve it, if we like some one we want to get with them, its that simple because we don't have the tolerance to do anything else, its just to irrational.

[Anonymous]

Almost good, but then flopped.

All that nonsense could be avoided if girls were more direct too and this seems like a way of offloading responsibility to the guy to be direct so you don't have to. If you're sitting around wondering what's going on instead of sorting it out then that's playing games too.

There's a great deal of leeway between when a guy is taking interest in you and him telling you which you have to account for. You can't just declare that it must mean he's not interested. That's not the sensible option, that's the lazy option. The sensible option is to be direct yourself and find out what's what so everyone can move forward. What you're offering seems to be just a mental framework that permits you to nothing and consider the matter resolved.

[razor97]

but wait, girls don't want video games, except that they're the only one who can play them. that's authority over men, sounds like feminist bullshit

[Anonymous]

It's quite the opposite. Women play games. That's why women have no right to complain about how there's no good men out there, and they have no right to act like men are the source of their issue. Women play such a passive role in dating. They sit around and look pretty and either accept or reject men that approach them. It's not our fault if you continue to reject good men. I'm 26 years old, and I know a lot of women who are single and no kids in their upper 30s and they still complain about men 🙄. It's your fault if you're single, not the man's fault.

www.worldstarhiphop.com/.../video.php

[Marsha003]

This seems like a bias opinion... lumping all men into on group of action would be like saying all women are pissy when they pms. And I know several narcissistic men that play mind games with women as a sport... and a quick small example I know I have heard the phrase but I love you or I love you when being pressured into sex or sexual acts I didn't want to do

[Anonymous]

I don't think you get it... Most dudes don't register in their minds competition... Every girl a guy likes in his mind he's the only one that wants her.. For the most part.
We also feel like we have so much time and nowadays girls just walk up to us and initiate if we don't so we can afford to play a little games..
My friends are playing games with girls right now..
They don't message the girl they like who likes them back because for whatever reason they don't wanna look desperate or whatever...
What's funny the girl is thinking the exact thing
Mind games are more common in dudes nowadays because society has feminised men serious...
I've had dudes tell me to ignore the girl and give out that kind of advice women give to there friends...

[pretty-kitty]

This article is stupid and the title is misleading, the most important thing you've said is "from my experiences" and I'm glad you've never experienced an abusive relationship. I spent two years being played with and not in a fun way, he broke me down mentally and emotional.. did he love me? Yes, in his own sick and twisted way. You can't really speak of such a thing if you haven't been in that situation.

[JohnDoe3000]

Chances are his gaming wasn't that sophisticated, you just ignored the red flags because he was hot. But you actually confirm the myTake: your guy wasn't really interested in you, if he was he wouldn't have played games.

[pretty-kitty]

Oh were you there during the course of my relationship? I'd assume so seeing as you know so much about it..

He chased me non stop for two years, even when I tried to leave and yes, I used to always give in but even now, every couple months he still tries to get in contact with me and he gets rejected every time but he still tries, apparently he is even seeing a psychologist now lol. He is interested in me but he doesn't know how to have a stable and prosperous relationship, I stupidly kept thinking he would change if I just loved on him.

I was interested in much more than his looks, he was average at best. Tall, lanky nerdy type (think Sheldon from Big Bang) when my usual type is tall stocky men with beards and tattoos.

you assume to know my situation but all the assumptions you made are wrong.

Some men play games, some women play games. Some people are just f*cking dickheads who like to mess with people. this article is bullcrap.

[bingbaddaboom]

Guys neutralize the games that girls play. You can accurately much label them as 'shit tests.' If you are a man and you don't believe this, then you are likely not successful with attractive women and possibly stuck in a shitty relationship with a low value woman.

[Anonymous]

Yes this is true. But unfortunately guys who are too nice and available almost always get romantically rejected by women. Successful guys have to remain semi mysterious in the early stages to keep a girls interest level high. That means waiting for a while to text back, waiting a few stays to contact a girl after getting her number, not revealing too much personal info, etc.

This sad disgusting truth is women love guys who are a challenge. The reverse can be true but to much lesser extent (I'll stay attracted to a bitchy women for 2 weeks tops).

Girls this is something you REALLY NEED to CHANGE. Stop fucking rejecting nice guys!

[Opinion Owner]

For the girl who downvoted me, tell me why you disagree

[AperolSpritz]

Some guys do play games, and enjoy it, as do some girls... and lot of men and women are wise to it when it happens. Not many people (over the age of 16 anyway) have time for that.

It's not a case of all men having cookie cut personalities and all women being ignorant to it. That's far from the truth.

[MrNameless]

if its on purpose, Only if they're players really

[CaliforniaDreaming80]

Don't they? What do you call flirting with you, Sending pics of himself online? (Normal, not sexual). And then ignores you. Then they block you and unblock you only to tell you that they have a girlfriend and that you were chasing him when he was the one who did that. To me, that's playing games and leading you on. But that's my opinion.

[Shadow44]

Agreed but when they start ignoring you that's when you cut them off. I know a friend of mine got blocked randomly out of nowhere. More or less we figured out it was because he started dating a girl. When they broke up he unblocked her and started trying to talk to her again.

Needless to say if something seem complicated with somebody it's not worth it. Just cut them off and move on to the next person. Someone who's mature and really wants a relationship won't waste time playing games and would instead be straight forward.

[MrNameless]

That depends.. I think some guys do try to play the field, and we can partily thank that that to pick up artists and being hammered to "chas women," so you might hear a few guys in your life time do some stupid shit like negging. lol

But yeah, I do think guys in general are more straight forward and wouldn't want to lead on a guy

[MrNameless]

Usually guys that follow pick up artist advice is if they just can't with women. Not saying there is anything wrong with them. A lot of it is cultural, and honestly when we get this "chasing women" thing hammered to you, then some people will treat dating as a game and do the same thing. But also, women are the ones who don't play "desperate" so of course guys will react to that

[MrNameless]

This my take sums up perfectly what every guy will face more than once in his life..

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a48333-games-females-play