If you don't want to ready this myTake you can always listen to it. Just click the link.
(sorry about my voice, FYI, I just got back from a Foo Fighters concert. All the screaming tore up my voice.)
Women have to adapt all of these beauty standards that society has placed on them.
Are you lonely and searching for a type of woman that will suddenly be your type by the magic of reading a random article?
Well women are about to be SUPER empowered with this powerful take on....
Top 5 reasons you should date a woman's corpse!
1.) She'll be a great listener
Ever had a bad day at work and want to tell someone? Like your girlfriend for instance?
This is where a corpse is at its best. They'll listen to your whole day without getting bored, without interrupting you, or telling you your day wasn't actually that hard compared to theirs.
Nothing is more blissful than having someone listen to your day, especially if they're not telling you their boring day as well!
2.) She'll have low standards, especially in clothing!
Lets be honest, you're not nearly as beautiful as a corpse.
But your dead girlfriend can't see that. She sees the beauty on the inside and doesn't care about what you look like. She won't care what you wear as long as it's you wearing it!
You can eve dress her in whatever you like and she won't argue one bit. Ever wanted her to wear that school girl outfit because you're a sick pedophile? She won't argue one bit! Role play time!
3.) She'll be great at caring for animals.
Corpses are great with animals, they just seem like a magnet to so many cute animals such as flies, rats, piranhas, dogs, wolves, crows, buzzards, fox's, raccoons, and all sorts of adorable animals.
Your dog or cat will love the smell and taste of her to the point of possibly forgetting YOU exist too.
Especially after they start growling and hissing when you try to take her arm away from them.
What a pro with animals right?
4.) She won't need to bathe.
Tired of high maintenance women? Corpse women are already in a constant state of smelling like rotten flesh. So why would she need to bath?
You won't need to buy her hygiene product, perfume, or even make up if you're a bold one. She'll never have to "live" up to normal standards of hygiene! Lucky girl!
5.) She'll never leave your side.
Let's be honest, the best reason you should date a dead woman is because of the very reason she can't leave you! She can't say "no" , she can't say "I want to leave", she can't say "stop taking pictures of our neighbors daughter you sick fuck"... Her loyalty is not only silent, it is also unconditional and absolute.
She's your damsel is digest, your beauty to the beast and despite wedding vows "till death do us part" doesn't apply at all!
Look if you haven't figured out that this is satire yet then I'm a little disappointed, but not surprised.
So I'll cut out the part where I talk about the satire itself. And I'll just to the chase.
This is satire of those myTakes that say "reasons why you should date 'x' type of women." and how it basically degrades women into a begging or choosing game.
Stop categorizing women as if they're a perfect match for you just because of their physical appearance, status, race, or even personality type.
What this does is make the OP not only pathetic and choosy, but it also makes women who aren't involved feel the need to fit in a certain category.
This applies to those who write about types of men to date as well, especially when it's based on body type.
It's not even ironically empowering to women of this category, much less is it dignified.
Most of you reading this aren't prizes yourselves, so just don't bother trying to justify your shallow attitude by reading a few G@G posts about types of men/ women that are the perfect match for you.
This is all I have to say at this point because I've become annoyed with having to explain satire.
Hope you had a good read, and have a nice day. :)