Three Reasons a 'Nice Guy' Can 'Finish Last' - A Free Lesson

3. Just because you're nice, doesn't mean you're immediately desirable. If every nice person was desireable, grandma would be drowning in dicks. You don't have to be a model, but you do have to be clean. The amount of 'nice guys' I've met who smell like a high school locker room and dress like Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons is astronomical. Doesn't matter how nice you are, if I can smell your breath from across a table, I'm not going to kiss you. This is an easy fix gentleman.

2. If you've ever said the statement (or any variation of it) 'I'm a nice guy', then you aren't. This is fact. If you have to state it, it isn't true. If you truly were a nice guy, I would have noticed it immediately. A truly nice guy doesn't need to tell you because it's obvious in his actions.

And finally, the number one reason: Nice guy doesn't always equal good man. I'd much rather date a good man who isn't necessarily nice than a nice man who isn't necessarily good. People can be nice to you and still be awful and disrespectful and cruel. Plenty of awful, awful people are nice. Like Jeffrey Dahmer and Ted Bundy. They were real nice to people. Doesn't make them good men, and I think we can all agree that they weren't.

This concludes the lesson.

(Just a hint, this is in fact not how sex works.)
(Just a hint, this is in fact not how sex works.)

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Most Helpful Guys

  • You're partly correct.

    "Just because you're nice, doesn't mean you're immediately desirable..." Absolutely true.

    "You don't have to be a model, but you do have to be clean..."
    Poor hygiene and dressing like a slob is going to be a turn-off regardless of whether you are a guy or girl. This should be a no-brainer, but sadly some people just don't get it. However, guys that are not in the top 25% of attractiveness are really going to struggle.

    "If you've ever said the statement (or any variation of it) 'I'm a nice guy', then you aren't. This is fact. If you have to state it, it isn't true."
    Yeah, self-proclaimed nice guys are often not very nice.

    "A truly nice guy doesn't need to tell you because it's obvious in his actions." Yep, true.

    "And finally, the number one reason: Nice guy doesn't always equal good man. I'd much rather date a good man who isn't necessarily nice than a nice man who isn't necessarily good. People can be nice to you and still be awful and disrespectful and cruel. Plenty of awful, awful people are nice. Like Jeffrey Dahmer and Ted Bundy. They were real nice to people. Doesn't make them good men, and I think we can all agree that they weren't. This concludes the lesson." This is where you kinda go off the rails when you start talking about serial killers.

    The number one lesson for nice guys to learn is that life is NOT fair. You can do everything right that is within your ability to control. You can be educated, polite, respectful, gainfully employed, well dressed, have good hygiene, volunteer in your community, and generally be a good person. You can do all that and still not be able to get a date. Unfortunately, if you are not good looking or have a "great sense of humor", it's going to take a lot of searching to find someone that is interested. The sooner you accept this, the better off you will be.

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  • i think that whole shitstorm about nice guys is nothing but a pedantic argument about what the definition of "a nice guy" includes and what it doesn't. i mean it would take litterally nothing but including your points of argument in the definition of a "nice guy" and that entire stupid argument is gone xD

    i would argue that most that consider themself "nice guys" know that "niceness" doesn't work like a currency for sex.

    however as a guy what you have to do to get some sexual appreciation is quite a lot and beating on guys for not knowing what it takes isn't really the right way to go. at the end of the day neither you, nor most men that struggle get sex know what it "really" takes to be sexually appreciated as a man. as a woman you're drowned in sexual appreciation without asking for it which is the polar opposite and equally shitty which i'm happy to admit but i don't think that should be a reason to get all pissed at confused guys who just don't know.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Couldn't have said it better myself.

    There's a lot more to this but this is a great overview.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Nice guys, generally speaking, only point out that they are nice because women keep shooting them down while proclaiming to want a nice guy. As for your number one point, why not just say you want an asshole and be done with it? Its a rather round about way of saying it, seemed a waste of time. Don't get me wrong, I have no issue with a woman actively seeking out an asshole, its her life her choice. Its the whole I have to hear about it later that irritates me. The women who go after the player then bitch and cry that all men are evil assholes because the player turned out to be, "SUPRISE!" a player. Or when they bitch and whine and cry about the guy being an asshole. its just like,
    "was he an asshole when you met him?"
    "yes."
    "was he an asshole while you where dating?"
    " Yes."
    "Was he an asshole last week?"
    "Yes."
    "Yeah, I have no idea why he would be an asshole now, that is weird.".
    At some point it just starts to get grating. Yeah, you want the guy who is a prick, congratulations, but why the fuck do you bitch and complain about it afterwards? I mean you chose the guy, you rewarded his piss poor behavior of insulting you, treating you like shit, cheating on you, etc. with sex and a relationship. Why are you acting surprised then that he is acting that way? Why are you acting surprised that the guy has traits that you where actively look for? You don't see guys actively looking for a woman with a huge ass then one day bitching and crying that her ass is huge. You don't see a guy looking for a redhead then four months into the relationship turning around trying to understand why the redhead is, you know, a redhead. That's really what pisses people off. Just state what you want and live with it, no need to make up bullshit excuses every time your choices result in the exact outcome you where looking for.

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  • That's a whole lot of mental gymnastics to simply avoid admitting that you want a jerk who treats you just well enough that you don't feel abused.

    But if the choice was between a kind respectful man and an abuser.. you would choose the abuser who makes you wet every single time.

    If a woman has to rationalize why her not liking good men is the men's fault.. She is not a good woman. Who wants to spend their time with someone incapable of being honest with them selves or others.

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  • 3d

    I have said it before and I will say it again:

    From a woman's perspective:

    Nice guy = weak guy who kisses up to her and does everything she asks of him = spinless guy that will not lead and protect her = the Sarah desert

    Bad boy = guy who does not kiss her ass and does his own thing regardless if she likes it or not = man with balls that can lead and protect her = tingle , tingle, tingle.

    It's that simple.

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  • So... Brush my teeth, don't claim I'm nice, and be good?

    Well hang on what's the difference between being good and being nice?

    Do women really hate nice guys this much? I can't tell you how many times I've seen lists like this for nice guys.

    Yet nothing for the bad boys. Women are willing to date and try to change bad boys, but not nice guys.

    Haha my head hurts again.

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  • LMAO I like how you shoe-horned Ted Bundy into this discussion even though he was nearly drowning in pussy after the things he did.

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    • Was gonna say Ted got multiple girls to trust him he clearly had some moves.

  • This is a fantastic read! Mostly because you're spot on.

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  • A guy is only labeled as a nice guy if he’s not good looking

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  • What you've said are just poor excuses that women give to justify their bad choices in men. Even a man who is both nice and good will often get rejected while the asshole gets all the women. Women make very bad choices when it comes to relationships. They go for the bad men and often fall in love with the bad men, but they will also complain when they get treated badly. The good men always get the rough end of the stick and this is women's fault. Unfortunately women are too proud and stubborn to admit that it's their fault.

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  • My ex said I'm too nice... at which point I've have had enough and got a ps4

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  • Preach 👏🏼. This is spot on. Love this take.

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  • Good take

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  • lol all depends on the definition

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  • 6d

    You can also tell 'nice guys' from how much they like to argue with people in the comments to prove that they're right.

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  • I think "Nice guys" should just move on to another girl instead of complaining that the girl they like doesn't like them.

    If you're a guy and if a girl says "You're too nice" either that is a code for she's not interested or maybe she has a thing for bad boys. But either way these "Nice guys" should just move on and find someone else instead of complaining "omg she rejected me for being nice" I don't wanna hear you complain

    But on the other hand, if you're a woman, and if you prefer to date bad boys, but then you're constantly complaining about bad boys treat you, then I don't wanna hear you complain either. Either find someone else, or accept that you like bad boys and accept the baggage of dating a bad boy.

    At least some girls like bad boys and don't mind being treated a certain way, they know what they like. But if you're going to insist on dating a bad boy, then I don't wanna hear you complain either. You made your own bed and now you lie in it.

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  • You're actually wrong about how if you say "I'm a nice guy" then you aren't. Just because a guy says that he's a nice guy doesn't mean he has to state it. It's not a fact. Stop spreading your wrong information.

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  • This is my all time favorite post.

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