Ok, first I would never actually call a girl a bitch. Not even out of affection and neither should you. I only used that in my title as an attention grabber or click bait if you will. But seriously. Don’t call a woman bitch. If you’re a woman, don’t call yourself or other women a bitch. It’s a degrading and misogynistic term that no one should use.
I’m going to write this article for both men and women. This nationwide lock-down has left me to my thoughts and feelings for such a long time that I’ve began to grow faster as a person. Forced self-reflection. I’ve never felt closer to my truest inner self. Part of this maturity has given me this undeniable desire to drop every basic woman in my life and to disregard any in the foreseeable future. Why? Because I deserve better and do you.
I say basic woman because I’m a heterosexual male who prefers heterosexual women. Naturally I refer to my dating prospects as women. When I say basic woman, I’m making a reference to the women that I choose to date who I see as basic. I have news for you if you’re not a woman, don't identify as a woman or don’t prefer women. Anyone can be basic.
What's Basic?
Regardless of race, gender, sexuality, class, religion, etc, anyone can be basic. I define basic as someone who’s the opposite of what I want in a partner. The biggest part is how they treat me. Looks play a role but treatment is vital. A partner who is basic is one we choose to settle for and not necessarily choose because we either don’t see our worth or don’t believe we can do better.
Think about all the qualities you want in a partner. Maybe they have good character but also know how to have fun. Maybe they’re funny, smart or really good with sarcasm. Contrast them with the ones you don’t want like being taken for granted, ignored, disrespected or mistreated. I know there’s more than a few people who can relate.
You find someone you’re attracted to and they put on their best face at first. But slowly they start showing their other faces. Maybe he stops texting you out of the blue then comes back days later like it never happened. Or he’s become less thoughtful in general. Maybe she only comes around when she needs emotional validation and vanishes when she doesn’t on and off. Looks aside, I’m talking about those people that don’t treat you as good as you treat them.
Most of the time we choose to see the best version of someone at all times. Even when they're showing other sides we would never choose if there wasn't a catch involved. Also the longer we stay with anyone the more attached we become, making it harder to leave.
If you’re dating or are committed to someone like this, you have a basic partner. Now you don’t necessarily have to want more than that. What I’m saying is that you should want better than that. I do and I will get someone better than that.
You Deserve Better
Lately I’ve encountered a few girls online that have made me more aware of my own worth but also what type of women I should be pursuing or searching for.
For me, the most attractive girls I’ve ever encountered have been physically attractive, but we could also have intelligent conversations. But most of the girls that I have dated were physically attractive but boring in an abstract way. Their personalities didn’t turn me on mentally or emotionally. Being around them long enough naturally got me attached to the point of commitment. I blame myself for being too shallow to wait and take my time finding girls who offered more than looks in the past.
Lately though. I’ve just been rethinking my entire dating life. These past few weeks I’ve talked to a couple of girls who just made me think and desire more. It’s like they’re pretty. But their minds and hearts just make me think about how much time I wasted in the past. And these same girls have said things to me that have made me realize that I can find and attract those types of girls. But the catch is it will take time, patience and effort.
These aren’t basic women. Rarely do I ever meet a girl I can have long conversations about spirituality and what we’re passionate about. It’s rare for me to find a woman who’s more concerned about her own moral compass versus what people think of her. It’s rare to meet a girl who’s attractive, charming AND giving up weed. For me, finding a girl who’s physically attractive AND mentally challenging is rare. But keep in mind these are also three out of the several upon several women I’ve ever encountered.
Basic is common. Exceptional is rare.
What do you want? Go for it!
If this take has spoken to you, I encourage you to think about what it is you desire in a partner. Compare them to who you’ve been with in the past. If you’re not satisfied make the adjustment because you deserve better! Especially if you’ve encountered these people and they’re able to see qualities in you that you never did.
Before I conclude this, I just want to thank the couple of people on here who I’ve talked to this past month. Thank you for helping me grow and see myself more clearly. I was starting to loath this lockdown but I’m finding the good in it. As I continue to grow I know I’ll come out of this quarantine a different and better man.
Stay healthy!
Most Helpful Opinions