Unpopular but true: Looks matter MOST


Intelligence matters and so does personality. But looks matter most.

It's from my personal experience and my observation of the people around me. I was stick-thin throughout middle/high school years. I was extremely insecure and jealous, I had little to no confidence. Yet, guys approached/chased after me wherever I went. I was that "popular" girl. All my friends were skinny and many of them weren't kind or nice but were hot and popular.

Unpopular but true: Looks matter MOST

Then college hit me and I gained 50 pounds. Guys suddenly stopped talking to me. I had to initiate conversations to make friends. The only places where guys would approach me were bars and clubs. I was nicer; I was way more compassionate and confident. Yet it didn't matter because guys didn't bother talking to me and trying to get to know me.

Unpopular but true: Looks matter MOST

Now I lost all the weight and am popular again. And I honestly don't think my nicer personality has anything to do with it. When you're pretty, you can get away with a lot more things than non-pretty people do. I'm still a bit jealous and possessive. And guys find it cute or they even say they like it, though they were like "ugh, stop being clingy" when I was heavy.

Looks matter most because people don't even give you a chance to show your personality if you aren't good-looking enough. And it's not just about girls but guys too. Seeing them going after douche bags and ignoring all those nice guys confirms it.

Things might be different for older people but I think it's pretty accurate for teenagers and 20something.

Unpopular but true: Looks matter MOST
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Most Helpful Girls

  • melonx
    Sorry but you are making a stupid point.
    I don't think "fat" people deserve to be treated badly at all first of.
    But I assume you were talking about guys that were less heavy than you?
    It's not a secret that most skinny to average people find thinner body's more attractive.
    And we want someone who fits our own body standards most of the time.
    Also not being pretty and being overweight are not the same thing at all.
    You can be naturally pretty in your features but can still be less attractive to guys because of your weight. You experienced it yourself. You were never ugly. Just people like healthy fit body's more and that is nothing uncommon and should not be shamed since everybody has a preference.
    Sure you can be a great person and some people will like you for that and not care about your physique and others won't.
    But making this argument about weight is pointless in my opinion since you can influence your weight and it's no secret that excess body fat is not attractive to most people. That doesn't make them shallow for liking people who have conviction, look after their body's and look healthy.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      You completely missed the point.

    • chris0977

      I, agree you begin with "I don't think "fat" people deserve to be treated badly at all first of"... quote where she said anyone deserves any specific treatment... your first action is to criticize her one something not that she said, but your brain made up based on part of what she said.

  • Cherokeehp
    I wouldn’t completely agree that looks matter most, but I do think they matter. I think you said it well when you said “Looks matter most because people don't even give you a chance to show your personality if you aren't good-looking enough“. Looks are what gets people’s attention and makes them interested in wanting to approach you. But if you’re not the best looking then there’s another option. YOU COULD APPROACH OTHER PEOPLE FIRST.
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Guys

  • Kaneki05
    Fat is the only thing that bothers me. Everything else don't matter , the reason why is cause been fat you can change Unless if you have something legit stopping you from losing weight apart from willpower. Why is matters is because well i am skinny and quite lanky. And not to be mean it just would be very uncomfortable when were cuddling or sleeping or having sex. So it just wouldn't work from that. Which in it's self is not even about looks it's just weight and comfort been hard. So personality and weight is the only things that matter heck wouldn't matter for weight if i was fat myself.
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  • OlderAndWiser
    Usually, we know about a person's appearance before we know anything else. If there is no attraction, then that person had no chance from the beginning. Once we get to know them, personality and intelligence become factors. . . But that comes later, so many people think appearance is everything.

    It isn't.
    Like 3 People
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What Girls & Guys Said

  • Kurαȷ
    If you are overweight, you are doing plenty to show your personality.
    You are telling people that you are lazy, have no discipline, no self-control and no motivation to fix the aforementioned issues.

    No shit that people don't want to date someone like that.
    Disagree 1 Person
  • Saville_Row
    Yes, you can get away with anything if you are slim. It doesn't make you a better person and god knows definitely not an intelligent one, but it is what it is. Try to remember that time when people didn't give a damn about you and reject all the men you think would do the same if you gained weight again in the blink of an eye. Use that wisdom to your advantage.
    Like 1 Person
    • chris0977

      Girls get jealous, but there's always payback. Every woman I went to school with who was slim & got free handouts of attention, admiration, etc. has no idea what to do now that looks are starting to fade & many cannot handle being treated like a "normal" person.

      Given choice, I'd rather be me, as life gave me preparation, over entertainment & comfort, forcing preparation for what would come ahead. Acceptance & approval aren't the same as winning in the long term. Don't find any reason for anger, bitterness, other than inability to manage emotional discomfort in jealousy.

    • @chris0977 A lot of what you say is true. In my company, they recently let go a certain percentage of people. It was no one's surprise that the slimmest girls, full of makeup and who were social butterflies were among them. Almost all of them. Why? Because a lot of them thought they were secure standing, laughing at the jokes of the managers. But ultimately, they kept the people who actually does the job.

  • RemoErdosain
    It's definitely that way for teenagers and people in their early twenties from what I observed and experienced. Right now I prefer personality over looks, but it wasn't always that way
  • Liam_Hayden
    Usually true. Online my success rate was 0.00%. I believe this is because I am very generic-looking. Not stunning, not hideous, just easily lost in the crowd. In real life my personality can overcome this, but even that requires interaction, so usually walking into a room - unless she is REALLY into green eyes - I have to make far more effort than the pretty boys do.
  • Adam1978
    Only if you want them to make the first move, besides can you honestly say that when you pick a stranger to approach that looks isn't factored in who you try first or not at all.
  • iFarted
    Looks get someone interested, lets not kid ourselves. Anyone who tells you it's all about personality is lying... or... they have really really low self esteem/no confidence so they'll take anyone who shows any interest in them.
    Looks will get you in the door while personality keeps you in.
    An "average" looking girl with a good personality is better than a bombshell that is an annoying bitch.
  • jirwin7979
    sad thing is your rite 100% but we can balme the movies about saying thin is the way but i dont want a skinny girl due to being so badly hurt and the fear of losing her... oh yea it happend she left my fat non existant butt for a guy that beats women... i got her flowers gave her a roof and helped her get off the streets then she left me like a 1 year old left over
  • DocT1977
    Outward looks do matter. People need to accept what they are born with. A good self image and self respect are probably more important. I'm not too worried about my appeal to the superficial.
  • Bandit74
    I agree.

    How you look is going to have a much greater impact on your dating options than your personality ever will. In fact how you look can even affect how your personality is perceived.
  • pantsuhunter
    Amen to that don't deny it boys! I would say the main exception comes from guys who have low self esteems who can go for personality
  • Numbnuts89
    congrats on the weight loss. you must feel a lot better now
    Like 1 Person
  • Lman3000
    Wow had no clue, thanks want a prize? cause everyone knows that cause this advice is slammed down everyone's throats every day
  • DWornock
    That is true and it is obvious if you observe people's actions and choices. However, since it is not politically correct, few people will admit it.
  • Christine726
    Looks not matter, matter your experience, thinking, quality, behaviour...
  • Aaron_Stone
    Welcome to Reality. 😇
    Normal Personality great looks >>> (always greater than) Awesome personality below /average looks.
  • mebeyou
    I take a quick look at her face And body. But what is most important is her personality. I have been out with all sizes and had the most fun with large girl
  • LGRock
    And this is why first impressions mean so much, and this is why we gotta look our best. This is also why confidence is so important.
  • TeddyGotT
    Correction - looks matter most initially and not to everybody
  • OddBeMe
    I’d say confidence matters most. But looks do matter too.
  • modelUN242
    It's true, I've been on both sides.
    Like 1 Person
  • Thatsamazing
    How in God's name did you gain FIFTY pounds.
    • Anonymous

      well, I weighed less than 85 pounds and it's not that hard to gain 50 or more if you eat a bunch of candies and pounds of pasta&pizza at 2 am almost every day...

    • Good point.

  • SuccessfulHornDog
    I agree looks matter a lot
  • Iron_Man
    True looks is what gets your foot in the door
  • jimmy2
    Omg she beyond beautiful
  • Anonymous
    Sad but true.
  • Anonymous
    People pair mainly on same attractiveness level of sex only matters. Being obese reduces someone's attractiveness level significantly but obese people still want similar attractive partners without taking under account their own obesity. That's why obese people so unhappy in matter of relationship.