For Men Unsuccessful in Dating - Frustration & Bitterness

[JosyJosy]

Hi everyone,

Usually I'm happy enough just posting my usual short bullshit answers on here, but lately I've seen quite a few lonely guys who're getting frustrated in the dating scene.

Guy keeps getting rejected by girls making him scared to try again or hate girls in general...A guy sees dating as pointless because he's short....A guy where the loneliness is starting to really get to him, etc.

So I thought I'd give you a long bullshit answer on here for a change. And I mean LONG. This will be mainly directed towards the guys.

The Game

We were each born with different looks. Imagine looking at poker players. They all are given their cards. Now imagine a poker player look at his cards and go

"fuck....FUCK MAN, WHAT IS THIS, THIS IS FUCKED!!!"

and he starts throwing a tantrum like a kid in a supermarket. Nah, they don't do that, they keep their Poker Face up and think...How can I win this? How can I win This Game, if you will?

Dating's no different. We all got to like sit down and think "How can I win this game?" Just like they're given their hand of cards, we are given our looks. And you can do little things to enhance that look.

Be your own Masterpiece

- Working on your body, getting a new haircut, changing your style of clothing, keeping that facial hair in check, ...etc

As much as we want someone to take us for who we are, it doesn't always work like that. Love at first sight, I don't really believe in it. To me it's more like lust at first sight. And looking good plays a big part in that.

You know, I could like go through life without knowing what a shower is, not workout at all, eat like a pig, ... Would I be able to find someone? I don't know, probably not, but if I want to increase my chances of finding someone I can do these little things (working out, changing clothing, healthy diet, ...) to better my chances in finding a partner.

You. Need. To. Perfect. Yourself. In every way possible.

If you haven't done this, don't go expecting to get the most beautiful girl out there.

Whenever I see the question "Is she out of his league?" or something like that. I say no, because I believe that if you become the most perfect version of yourself, you can go get that person. You are your own masterpiece.

If someone's been less fortunate with the looks given to them, they can still be sexy. A short guy can still be really sexy. Is it his hairstyle, how he dresses, how he carries himself (a big dick attitude, confident but modest), ... or a combination of these things which is usually this is the case.

We need to work on ourselves first. On our own masterpiece.

Change that Mindset

For the women insulting you or laughing at you for even trying. They're pieces of shit, and they will get their karma in due time. Karma is real. All 'pieces of shit' in my life, good/bad looking, they have all paid :)

If you start off your day right, usually the rest of the day goes great too. If you keep winning, you usually keep winning (no gambling though). Positive energy breeds positive energy. It feeds itself.

But the people who feed themselves with negative energy, will go deeper and deeper into that negativity, unless you change that mindset. What do you do if an awful song is playing on the radio? You change station. Don't like the voice in your head speaking to you? Change it.

People can sense that energy, that something's off.

There are people who go "You've been single? How? You look amazing!" or whatever. It's like when I would see a good looking guy, walk up and as soon as he starts talking, I could be like "something's off"

You might not be ugly, it might just be your mindset. Ever saw a person who wasn't in your opinion good looking, but they seemed so confident? They have that Big Dick Attitude I talked about earlier. You've seen guys with a 'instagram model girlfriend' and you're like "how do they do that?" Well....It's their mindset.

How bad do you want it?

We have to set our minds to what we do. 100 %. Many people are not succesful because they do not give their 100 % at whatever it is they want to do.

When you're working on yourself, you have to be (again) your own fucking masterpiece.

Work on yourself HARDER THAN ANYTHING ELSE you work on in life. This will NOT be easy...IF BEING AT YOUR BEST WAS EASY....EVERYONE WOULD BE. You really need to sit down and plan out how to be the ultimate version of yourself. Work. On. Yourself.

DO NOT GIVE UP. Success comes to those who keep on going. Look at it as if it was a marathon. The people who don't finish that marathon, are the people who gave up, you have to be consistent. YOU CAN NOT GIVE UP.

It's not going to be easy, but aren't you going to feel good as a person, as a human being, as a MAN, deep down inside...That YOU had the perseverance to create the Ultimate You Masterpiece and achieved everything you wanted to in life..WELL?

okay then <3 <3 <3 :*

DO IT!

[TCredo]

I do like your short bullshit answers lol but this one was worth every word. Well done :)

I often wonder how many of the "woe is me" posts I see on here from guys are real or not... I've been hopeful most of them are not real but maybe that's been overly optimistic. Your points are well made and all good advice.

Mindset is everything. Reminded me of an old saying... "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you will probably be right". And another saying "You'll miss every shot you don't take" doesn't just mean shoot and you score... but if you practice your shooting (your points), you'll stand a far better chance of scoring :)

And... as you mentioned so well the poker analogy, made me think of this related advice song :)

https://www.youtube.com/embed/7hx4gdlfamo&quot; frameborder=&quot;0&quot; allow=&quot;accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture&quot; allowfullscreen&gt;&lt;

[JosyJosy]

I'm glad you like it. I was a bit hesitant, maybe some would get pissed off lol anyway thanks for the song!

[TCredo]

Welcome. And if anyone did get pissed off on what you wrote, they'd be proving your advice points lol :)

[TheFlak38]

For the men who follow the dumb advice of women such as this one: If you do what a woman says she just loses respect for you. You'll be like a circus animal jumping through her hoops. Read carefully her article and see how she describes a man who is enslaved to the vagina, constantly struggling to earn her approval just to get a chance to ejaculate inside her.

[JosyJosy]

It's actually advice from three of my guy friends

[TheFlak38]

yeah who wear love goggles. I can imagine what kind of "men" they are when you're calling them your friends. The sexual marketplace is rigged in favour of women. But you will never talk about that because it will convince more and more guys to just give up and concentrate on their hobbies instead of chasing women and waste their precious time and money for attention whores like yourself.

[JosyJosy]

No love goggles, just your everyday guys

[Truthatanycost]

The vast majority of 'guy friends' are just orbiters. There often comes a point in the 'friendship' where this is realized, but most women are blind to it.

[JosyJosy]

@Truthatanycost No orbiters, they're all in relationships

[Kdude010]

Exactly. Women love this. Guys here should learn to read between the lines. She's trying to make men enslaved to the vagina and suck up to women all while conjuring up a fake story about "three of my guy friends gave me this advice". Can't believe guys are this gullible. Lmao

[Truthatanycost]

@Kdude010 Good point. My advice to all men is to focus on discovering and working on their life purpose (not to be confused with career although sometimes it's the same). To work on their physical, mental and spiritual health. And to stop placing females, desire, porn, or dopamine, on a pedestal.

You never ever see women anywhere, advising men to simply walk away, it's always advice to keep men in the game some how.

[Yads_Is_Back]

Love this. Without even reading the replies from guys, I want a penny for every statement the guys make that show that they hate this and they wanna blame women because they’re miserable and incels.
Im gonna be rich af 😂 $

[JosyJosy]

Yaaa it triggered quite a few, but it helped a few as well so I'm happy :)

[sensible27]

I read some of the top few (overview) and all I'm gonna say is don't depend on it for an income.

[VanillaSalt]

Women like you are the reason #mgtow... while I agree men should always be improving themselves men don’t want to compete with women. We want women that will fulfill their roles. But women don’t care they want to be equal. But when the equality hits home they want special treatment.

Example. Why should I ask you out if your gonna reject me. Why should I pay 100% for the date if your gonna be an equal earner? Why should I have to do half the house work when I’m bringing in 70% of the income. Why should I have to accept your eating disorder when you can’t accept I’m worth the effort even though I’m not 6’+?

Women are the cause of bad men. disrespect and degradation are all you hear from women. Unless your a top 10%er. Women need to lessen their standards, pull up their panties, and fucking make men out of men or this is gonna be dating for quite a while...

You women need to think... I don’t wanna know your answer... do you want to continue living your lives like you are now until you die? Do you 20 somethings think you’ll be treated the same by men when your 30 or 40? Do you think when you’ve finished you partying men are gonna just accept your body count?

Many of you are going to die alone because men are the great evil and you can’t see your own guilt.

[VanillaSalt]

I apologize this was meant for below

[Kdude010]

Incels because men refuse to chase you? Speak of being entitled. I thought y'all females hated men lol

[Yads_Is_Back]

@Kdude010 Who says I hate men? And tell that to all the guys chasing me... lol

[Yads_Is_Back]

You know, I'm kind of starting to learn a certain lesson on GAG. That is that a lot of these guys on GAG are miserable and just complainers who can't get women. I have officially stopped trying to understand them. All they do is complain, and it's like they never wanna be happy. I don't have time for that. That's why I haven't even read the comment of the guy above. (I actually didn't know he posted here until I saw your notif rn.) And I'm not gonna read it. Lol he's probably a complainer who is wasting his time like the rest

[sensible27]

I think he made a mistake, the post wasn't meant for you... This was accidental, he says it himself lol : )

[Kdude010]

Merely the fact that u assume guys are incels for refusing to chase you, or women in general? Ur mad that u don't have their attention lol. Also, guys chasing you? Who? Lol

[Yads_Is_Back]

@Kdude010 I’m glad you like to imagine a world where I’m so unliked simply because you don’t agree with me😂but it’s not the case. And an involuntary celibate has nothing to do with whether he chases a girl or not. I guess indirectly it does, but that’s not how it’s determined. That’s stupid. Lol stupid enough that I don’t even have time for it so adios

[Kdude010]

a lot of women on GAG are either closet misandrists, or complainers who can't handle simple discussions with men because of their own prejudices towards men based off of the media. y'all are literally female-incels without knowing it lol. All y'all women do is complain about how "terrible" men are lmao. y'all are looking to be single, old, angry cat ladies being that way lol.

[Kdude010]

I've yet to see one guy here state that he hates women because isn't that what being an "incel" is about? Lol

Criticism isn't "hating women". Y'all aren't perfect. y'all criticize men all the time lmao

[hi_it_is_me123]

Kdude010 i mainly see men hating or disrimination women due to her age, looks, sexuality. This is not critizism, this is just sexism.

[VanillaSalt]

I’m tired of being called “too short” it’s like bitch I can straight punch you in the vag ya know that right lmao

But no really men get hit much harder than women. Age effects kids... a lot of times interests... and ya I’ll just a whore as a whore. It’s the man that decided the value of a woman. He decides what he’ll do to keep or get her what he put into the relationship... and she does the same to him...

[Billlewis]

Oh my goodness, yes ❤️ being a frustrated celibate simp is so much more enjoyable when we know that beautiful women like you are loving every single moment of our torment -- and that's my genuine opinion, not sarcasm, ma'am. Your comment just made my whole day;)

[Anonymous]

Is easier for girls because men don't judge girls on stupid things like height which cannot be helped. If every girl discriminates against short guys can you really blame them for hating women?

[JosyJosy]

Not every girl

[DeltaCharlieEcho]

The majority of women that do this is so ridiculously large that "every" is effectively the right word.

[Opinion Owner]

@DeltaCharlieEcho I agree, it seems ridiculous especially since women get very offended and outraged when men objectify women's physical traits, yet society seems to think it's perfectly ok for women to objectify and demean men. Much like skin colour, height is a physical trait which people cannot change.

[Slartybartfast]

Many guys just give up.

I litteraly spent five years on a self improvement quest. Worked out everyday, got super fit, got my degree, bought an old farmhouse right out of a Harlequin romance. Went online and read endless, ridiculous lists of"demands" from obese,, gross women who've had way to many partners l, with egos so inflated by hoards of thirsty guys online they are no longer capable of having a relationship and ignore all but the top men.

Frankly, wine. , Especially in the USA Obviously, hate men. Mostly this is just internalized misandrus, but after decades of girl power, and media stereotype of men as useless women can't help but treat men as disposable.

[dianagirl]

Your comment:
... Is easier for girls because men don't judge girls on stupid things like height which cannot be helped. If every girl discriminates against short guys can you really blame them for hating women?
Sounds like something a guy would say. There's no justification for "hating women". Everyone is an individual, and it's no reason to "hate" someone. Is it ok to hate guys when they judge us - and they do, lots of times.

[DeltaCharlieEcho]

@Slartybartfast I was a powerlifter where I was nearing the competitive level for a while. I was massive like 185lbs at 14% body fat and JACKED. I'm the same size now with my musculature more focused towards fighting so my body is much leaner muscle without the definition. I never tend to get much attention when I'm as built as I am or was at that point in my life, it's always when I get really skinny and am not going to the gym at all when I get the straight up babes that I usually end up dating.

It's wild, women act like they want a built dude but when push comes to shove, most of them are too damn insecure around guys with muscles that they don't let themselves get involved because they "know" they aren't good enough for us. Don't give up; but at the same time, don't do it for anyone but yourself. If you find a chick and she doesn't like you going to the gym all the time, well just keep going. It's your body not hers. Do it for you, and nobody else.

[Slartybartfast]

@DeltaCharlieEcho

I'm 6'2" 220 and you can definitely see my abbs outline. I bicycle about 50 miles on the weekends and have hobbies like I've been hauling 200+ pound rocks out of a creek bed to build a retaining wall and own some land where I'm building a cabin with nothing but an axe and a shovel.

I gave up on women years ago, don't even look anymore.

[hi_it_is_me123]

Men disriminate women on stupid things like age. How about that?

[hi_it_is_me123]

Hypocritical incels

[MCheetah]

Statistically, 96% of all straight women find same-height or shorter men unattractive. As in, "would only consider dating him if desperate for a man." While something like 75% of Western women (mainly the US and Canada) find a man less attractive/unattractive if he's less than six feet tall/183 cm. From a 2013 university study called Personal Gender Differences Regarding Relationships. So yeah, less than 1 out of 20 women will give a shorter man the time of day, and only 1 out of 4 will find a man less than six feet attractive/date material (even if many of them "settle" on 'unattractive' short men).

[DeltaCharlieEcho]

@hi_it_is_me123 Age isn't a stupid qualifier. Age determines a female's reproductive ability. Once you cross that threshold, you can't have kids. If a guy wants kids and to have a family and raise his own kids, age has everything in the world to do with attractiveness as a partner. To be fair, more men base our attraction on the health of the woman and not the age. Is she in shape, does she eat right, does she manage her mental health, does she have a healthy social life, does she have healthy habits. All things a woman CAN and SHOULD control just as every man should. You don't get to complain when your qualifications for attractiveness in a man are things he can't control like his height or the family he's born into when men's qualifications are based on things women can manage with relative ease.

[hi_it_is_me123]

It is a stupid qualifer. Kids are not a reason. You can adopt. I mean even if she is in 20s but get can't pregnant, are you going to leave her? It is disgusting to see men who are over their 30s try to aproach young women. It was never about kids. Men like you love to use kids as an excuse to not appear shallow. And also the sperm quality for men decrease drasticallly too. So men can make a woman pregnant but it is very likely that the kid is going to be disabled. But i have never ever seen women rejecting men because of this.

[hi_it_is_me123]

Also you dont get treated like a second hand product for not being in your 20s anymore

[hi_it_is_me123]

So women can't change their age.

[hi_it_is_me123]

That is why disrespect any men over 30 who want me due to my youth and beauty since they would not approach me if i was 30

[DeltaCharlieEcho]

@hi_it_is_me123 don't kid yourself, you ain't shit

[hi_it_is_me123]

That prove that i am right and you shallow piece of shits mainly care about age and beauty. Kids my ass. Guys like you never care about them but use them as an exuse to be not seen shallow. Be honest at least

[hi_it_is_me123]

Why are you not married? Where were you thst long? Now you want a young woman to want your old ass?

[VanillaSalt]

Women like you are the reason #mgtow... while I agree men should always be improving themselves men don’t want to compete with women. We want women that will fulfill their roles. But women don’t care they want to be equal. But when the equality hits home they want special treatment.

Example. Why should I ask you out if your gonna reject me. Why should I pay 100% for the date if your gonna be an equal earner? Why should I have to do half the house work when I’m bringing in 70% of the income. Why should I have to accept your eating disorder when you can’t accept I’m worth the effort even though I’m not 6’+?

Women are the cause of bad men. disrespect and degradation are all you hear from women. Unless your a top 10%er. Women need to lessen their standards, pull up their panties, and fucking make men out of men or this is gonna be dating for quite a while...

You women need to think... I don’t wanna know your answer... do you want to continue living your lives like you are now until you die? Do you 20 somethings think you’ll be treated the same by men when your 30 or 40? Do you think when you’ve finished you partying men are gonna just accept your body count?

Many of you are going to die alone because men are the great evil and you can’t see your own guilt.

[brennanhuff]

@Slartybartfast why would you let some stupid stuff online from women cause you to give up on women. That seems overly sensitive and kind of irrational. You shouldn't let stuff like that dictate whether you date women or not.

[VanillaSalt]

Partially because covids got most of this country shut down also because all my socializing right how’s online. I work 6 days a week gy shift lmao and late at night the bars really and I’m not a drinker. I’ve been working gy for a year and a half and just got changed to 6 days a week down from 7 a few months ago so online dating a my area.

[hi_it_is_me123]

@VanillaSalt could you accept to date someone your age or older?

[VanillaSalt]

Age is just a number... if there’s physical attraction to draw me in and great personality to keep me there ide be quite happy... but I want kids so too much older might not work.

[hi_it_is_me123]

Oh i thought you are hypocritical. I actually agree with sone of statements but also think you can't force people to date you. Everybody is entitled ti their preferences

[VanillaSalt]

That’s the problem... women have too many partners and take the best from each one and combine them making it harder and harder to date them... women with many sexual partners Will always compare their partner to previous experience...

I would be happy if arranged marriages came to the United States... arranged marriage is a travesty... it goes against the wishs and freedom of the USA... but when all options are taken from you you have to learn to accept your situation and make the best out of it... take away all the outs... no more divorce... ide LOVE to see mandatory 5 years jail for infidelity...

[hi_it_is_me123]

In my culture arrange marriage is the norm but i would not recommend it. Most of them I know are still married because of the kids and culture even though cheating happens

[VanillaSalt]

Cheating happens here as well. It’s about 40% of relationships have a cheater here in the states. That’s why I support jail for adultery. I’ve been cheated on in all 3 relationships two of which were 4 and 5 years in.

[hi_it_is_me123]

I am sorry for you but i think state should not interfere itsself in people's relationships. So i am not for "jailing" adultery. I dont know your ideal imagination of arrange marriage. Also you can't force people into arrange marriage. I also think people would stop marrying rather than getting arranged married in western culture. We have arrange marriages because of culture and religion and western people are not religious. So it would not work for them. It is also a way to control people sexuality by preventing men/women having intercourse outside marriage but unfortunately some men have sex outside of marriage but except women to be virgin and as a consequence some women get "virginity surgeries". Then you also dont know your partner 100%. So there is a chance that you marry sociapath or idiots who you "can't divorce". I personally think marriage is nothing but a contract and that is why it is not needed since you can live and get kids with your partner

[VanillaSalt]

Wow no no no westerners are religious as well... more so then many other country’s ide say simply because of the large mix of religions... also you don’t understand how things are here. In America men can get blindly accused of rape and lose their jobs and be black listed. Without proof. We have movements to believe women when they accuse rape without question and the women suffer no consequences... in college they do this and students are removed from classes for the whole year... men put all the effort into finding a woman then court her with dates and gifts. It’s a very time consuming and expensive process. Then if they get married and she divorces him she gets half of everything he owns. They actually share everything so typically the man who works a lot gives up all his stuff and the woman who has tons of debt splits her debt with him... this is an extreme case but you understand now. During the relationship women control about 80% of the finances. Relationships are 100% biased towards women... maybe the worst is if kids are involved there’s like a 90% chance of her getting primary custody and you being stuck paying for them as the man.

This is why we have red pill and #mgtow. Men are done being falsely accused and screwed by women. Marriage and birthing rates are plummeting... their already not getting married so I doubt it could be worse.

[bluetoblack99]

I've gotten beaten out by shorter, fatter guys before. It’s more complicated.

While this take posed to be “helpful” to guys she had a real dismissive attitude towards male frustration. Using the word “incels” was telling of her condescending attitude.

It’s true that a man should strive to be his best. But he’s human. If he gets screwed over one too many times by females he’s going to hit a breaking point somewhere.

Now I don’t advocate glory through victimhood. That would make me no better than a modern feminist. However just brushing off his frustration like it’s completely his fault (usually partially but never completely) is very sexist.

[bluetoblack99]

Forgive me. She didn’t say “incels” but I noticed other girls saying that.

[Guy13]

People who worry over this kind of thing and focus upon it are the same ones crying and never trying. What a waste of energy for a guy to even go down this line of thought.

[cth96190]

What @JosyJosy advocates will work for some.
What @JosyJosy does not take into her calculation is the overwhelming number of young women who are attracted to shitbags, as though they were moths to a flame.
If there were young women who wanted men of quality, I did not meet them.
There are men, such as myself, who were and had everything that women were supposed to want, who were rejected so often (and so viciously) that we gave up.
I have been a borderline incel for most of my life.
Why?
From what I have observed, it was because I was a clean-cut well-mannered young professional who had a good future, dressed well and had a good income. I even had the good looks and the body.
When I was in the age range of @JosyJosy, I found that the young women wanted sociopathic bad boys who wore flannel, dressed as though they stole clothes from charity bins, had the cognitive process of a borderline retard and could not form words properly when they spoke.
When I was a 20-something, it would tear my guts out when I would go 'hunting' in the nightclub district and see gorgeous young women hanging off males who looked as though they should be on wanted posters.
When I approached young women, their response was often derisive. Young Australian women treat the rejection of men as a competitive sport. Each tries to be more vicious than the last of her friends.
One time that it really hurt was after the Australian Army had activated my reserve status for a while and I returned to my empty heart and home. That night I went looking and saw girl after girl with males who were what Elliot Roger would have described 'brutes'. I was the pathetic loser who was alone, collecting rejections.
The two girls with whom I had relationships during my 20s broke my heart in ways that would make good soap opera scripts, or a Jerry Spring episode.
Eventually, I married a woman. She turned cold and I was in a sexless marriage.
My media career is in the past, due to advancing technology.
Degrees in journalism and secondary education are as a useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.
By chance, I was able to monetise my military experience and my devotion to Shotokan karate to become part of the private security industry. Watch the movie Mall Cop and your perception will not be far from the reality.
These days I have a private security enterprise that gets me out and about. I meet a lot of women, who go out of their way to make conversation with me. I find this darkly fascinating, because when they were 20 they would have told me to FOAD.
This happens especially during wedding receptions, when I am the dark suit in the corner.
Now that they have lost their looks and gained weight, they go out of their way to try to interact with me.
Even though I have not touched a woman for 20 years, I cannot bring myself to respond to their advances. As they speak, in my mind I can hear the jeering and put downs that I experienced when I was younger.
Why did I give up?
Because there is only so much pain that a man can absorb before he is compelled to walk away.
Also, the first principle of military tactics is to fight only the battles that you can win. A rational evaluation of my record with females showed that I was engaged in something that I could not win. Therefore, I took the rational course of action and withdrew from the field.
Thank goodness I adore cats.

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

I am sorry for the bad luck you had with women. Still the majority of them does not act like that otherwise guys woudn't go for them at all.

[cth96190]

@ThisIsMyOpinion
It has been my experience that an overwhelming majority of women do behave in that way.
I did not encounter any who did not.

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

Really bad luck then.

[Texaskid1]

Those same women who rejected you when you were 20 something probably look like hippos now. When a women is in her early 20's she is desired ; she is in the peak of her sexual prime. As she gets older she begins to realize that men are not chasing after her as much. For men things begin to change in their 30's - now they realize that they are desired ( in many cases).

Men age like wine.
Women age like milk.

[cth96190]

@Texaskid1
I agree with what you wrote.
I noticed the 180 degree change in demonstrated female group preference about the age of 35. About that age, women who would have told me to FOAD when they were 20 came sniffing around and made the first move commonly..
I was so filled with bitterness and resentment that I was not in a headspace that would have allowed me to make a positive response. I was not interested in taking a turn after a conga line of knuckle dragging bad boys anyway.
Nor was I interested in funding the lives of the spawn of Harley MacBadBoy and Ivor Necktattoo.
One of the reasons why I do not take advantage of the female interest that I have experienced during recent years is. . . have you seen what women around my age look like? - lol
Bat wings, varicose veins, often obesity and major dental problems are a common issue.
The big obstacle is the way that my mind replays memories of the rejections and the sneering faces whenever a woman talks to me.
A psychiatrist said that it was a form of PTSD. I find it darkly amusing that doing what I did with the army did not cause me any psychological problems, but trying to find a woman to love left me with PTSD.

[Knighted2170]

This is a really good share.

I would go one further on each of your points though. This is just based on topics that we have covered such as this on our podcast.

The Game is the dance people play when they want to meet someone they are attracted to. The confidence people are always talking about is nothing more than taking a risk. The fact that you risked getting rejected puts you ahead of the guy who stays on the sideline hoping the woman sees you. Trust me, she sees you looking. The longer you keep her waiting the lower your chances are with her.

Be your own masterpiece is being able to show your personality to the world. Proper grooming and taking care of yourself will get you far, but personality finishes the race. A lot of people say money, possessions, and a fancy job gets the hot girls. How do you explain all the guys living paycheck to paycheck in a crap apartment working as a night clerk having a hot long term girlfriend or wife? There is something in his personality or character that no other guy is offering. You could say great sex, but even that will only get you so far.

When you know what you can offer, and know what you want in a partner, and how you dress and carry yourself all line up you start attracting the people you want to meet. It almost becomes effortless.

Change your mindset. Instead of trying to "get the girl" like it's some kind of competition, try just having a conversation. Become outcome-independent instead of outcome-dependent. Now when you approach all your trying to do is have a conversation and you don't care about getting her number or asking her out. Since it's just a conversation she's not going over in her mind "shit, here we go again." After the conversation, and after she's been able to get a sense of who you are and what you're about, she may be more attuned to getting together, later on, to find out more about you. If the conversation doesn't work out, you won't be spending months on a dead-end relationship, to begin with.

How bad do you want it? If you don't know what you offer in a relationship, what kind of relationship you want, or even worse what type of partner you want you're starting from a negative. She needs to be hot says nothing. You just described one-third of the planet's population. She needs to have a sense of humor, full of energy, and have a zest for life. Are looking for a pet goldfish or a girlfriend?
Do you want someone who's smart or adventurous or maybe a bit of a risk-taker? What do those traits look like? What kind of relationship do you want, and do they want the same thing? What do you want them to see in you that you can offer them? What do you bring to the table besides material possessions?
If you don't know any of these things, you are just operating on a hope and prayer that you meet someone who you hit it off with. When you have those answers, you start attracting those kinds of people, and you're not wasting your time on people who won't make for a good romantic relationship. On the flip side, your circle of friends and acquaintances will exponentially grow.

[winterfox10]

I always find it interesting how no one ever talks about the HUGE role that "right place, right time, right friends " has in love. The advice everyone always gives is to focus on ways to improve yourself, which is great advice, but sometimes the problem really IS everyone else.

Yes, it is true that you might need to look inward and improve yourself, but it's also possible that the people you talk to just aren't looking for a relationship, or that you live in a place where there's just a bad vibe; or maybe her friends are just mean POS's who will tank your relationship because of whatever weird little complex they have going on upstairs.

I'm a PA born guy, but a lot of people in PA and I just don't get along. There's just something about the region that just doesn't mesh well with me, even when I'm on my best behavior. There's just a weird vibe about me for whatever reason. Every single romantic failure I have ever had (except the ones where we got into a relationship); we had one or several dates where things went super well, but then it just got weird once her friends/girlfriends got involved.

I'm sure that there are plenty of things I could work on, even beyond what I am personally aware of. But the fact remains that the vast majority, most of my romantic failures have come as a result of a sketchy friend who just decided that she didn't like me.

[DonCachondo]

Reminds me so much of this memorable TEDx Talk! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2rG4Dg6xyI

[winterfox10]

Lmfao fucking Chimp rentals! I love it. Thank you for sharing this!

[Texaskid1]

Men age like wine.

Women age like milk.

When I was a young lad in my 20's ( even into my 30's) I had my heart broken many times. I remember how many times I was rejected and this indeed did cause a lot of frustration and bitterness. I did not understand women nor was there anyone to show me the way. I had to learn it the cold and hard way. Now I am 43 years old - a middle ages man. When you think of middle aged you think of someone who is paunchy and sort of craggy. Even though I have been through a lot I feel young ; I hit the gym several times a week , I watch what I eat- the weird thing is at my age of 43 I get more looks from young 20 something hotties at the gym (or at work or at the mall) then when I was their age.
It is a fascinating thing to me ; now that I am older I get more attention from hotties but I no longer have the burning desire to be with someone - I can analyze in a most cool and and dispassionate manner the same type of hotties that I would have killed for when I was 20.
What I will say is that most young guys will be frustrated with (hot) women ; especially nicer guys. But keep in mind that that same hot girl will age much faster than you - this is how it is for most women. You, on the other hand will gain value as you get older ( assuming you work on yourself) . Women lose value as they get older. Those same young hot (early) 20 somethings that tell you to fuck off today will be be desperate for male attention by the time she is in her early thirties. Just give it time.

Men age like wine.

Women age like milk.

[hi_it_is_me123]

That is why women should stop giving attention egoistic old men. That is also why I always use men like you and treat them like shit because i know you dont really want me, you want my beauty and youth. By the way men get fucking bald in their 20s and look old due to it. So wtf are you speaking about?

[hi_it_is_me123]

And how many men you know who look young in their 40s? In my experience men in their 30s look like my grandpa. I

[6suejsjsj]

@hi_it_is_me123 aww ugly bitch is butthurt. How can you look old wegen balding when it's something young guys get you stupid fool?
Show me your tits you whore.

[hi_it_is_me123]

6suejsjsj Who tf is taking to you piece of shit. You are the one who is butthurt at my answere. Now fuck off you useless cunt. Even incels are more worth than you, you fag

[hi_it_is_me123]

@6suejsjsj By the way i blocked you. Dont ever talked to me again you fugly bastard

[Yads_Is_Back]

The only kink here is that the only women older like that who will be suffering are the ones who deserve the suffering. Face it: the good women end up in a relationship or married before that time. If those women are young and hot like that, you’re not the only guy in the world lol and chances are they’ll end up with someone before they become your age, so they end up benefitting while you didn’t have that benefit. They end up happy with a mate and kids; you’re single and never got what you wanted

[Yads_Is_Back]

And I say that from a more traditional perspective

[Texaskid1]

@Yads_Is_Back. Not everyone needs to get married. The idea of marriage is nice and all - but the reality is that most of them end in divorce.

[Yads_Is_Back]

Yep. People don’t marry with true intentions nowadays.

[Yads_Is_Back]

What I said remains true though 😊

[Texaskid1]

@Yads_Is_Back Sad but true.

[sensible27]

@hu_it_is_me123 having a bad day? Who hurt ya?

[Boogie_01]

@hi_it_is_me123 but you still want them so shut the fuck up

[hi_it_is_me123]

@sensible27 and Boogie_01 i have no time for useless people like you. Now let me alone and stop spamming me

[Boogie_01]

@hi_it_is_me123 you’re the useless one bye bitch im done

[hi_it_is_me123]

Boogue_01 Fuck off then you male cunt. Now let me alone bastard

[connythebaker]

"You. Need. To. Perfect. Yourself. In every way possible."
"Work on yourself HARDER THAN ANYTHING ELSE you work on in life."

Nope. Both men and women need to relax and show common sense.
You list some of that "common-sense" stuff like showering. - I agree on that, but that would be about it.
You get the mindset part mixed up. Positive is good, but trying as hard as you can is counter-productive. People should be sustainable with their efforts. Also you cannot push yourself to be positive. Positivity arieses in a spontaneous manner in a state of mental relaxation.
What you describe is in the best-case the mindset of a person who is to become a successful thai-boxer. I would rather opt for tai-chi, though.
In the worst case the try-hard approach you advocate will make people self-conscious and distract their focus from what matters while dating: The other person.

Most people don't try as hard as you suggest, and hardly anybody invests all of his/her spare time in perfecting him-/herself. Yet most people do have (moderately?) successful relationships.

Why would males who have difficulties dating suddenly be successful by an approach that people who actually do better do not follow? Makes little sense.

[MCheetah]

10- Flawless/PerfectI kinda agree with everyone here. Be the best version of yourself, but NOT for women. If she didn't want me when I was short, broke, and with a beer belly, then I'm sure as hell not going to take her when I'm short, rich, and with a six pack.

Well written article from her, but if men have to literally become perfect before gaining a woman's favor, while women simply just have to exist, then f*ck it! They're not worth it then. Get a dog and go on Meetup. com for some new male friends with common interests to fill that hole of loneliness in you. Society is bullsh*t if you gotta now be some uber-Alpha in 2020 before being "worthy" of a vagina. Forget that!

If being self-actualized with a perfect life is now the expected criteria of modern (Western) women, then that implies a woman is only going to bring a man down, especially if marriage is involved. This world is messed up, but I'd rather be single and free than a slave to a female partner.

But yeah, I agree about the self improvement. I work on myself everyday, even if I'm still short and "undateable" by most women in the world.

[brennanhuff]

Positive energy is important but come on confidence doesn't simply just make any man sexy. That's BS, that discredits guys who have natural strong traits. Fact is some guys have traits to attract more attractive women than others. Confidence helps for average or below average looks guys but it doesn't put them up to par with confident good looking charming guys. I can be all positive thinking and as funny as a I am, work to be do stand up. After failure, I may get better, but you think I'd every do comedy improv like Robin Williams? And have the crowd laughing like that? No, because that ridiculously quick wit, that brilliance Robin Williams has is a born gift. Just like you can practice basketball all day, but not play ball like Kobe Bryant. Charming, witty, really funny guys with that combo have that born trait and such traits often attract women pretty well. Add some nice looks and well that's a man that could get seemingly any woman he wants, not literally of course, but you know what I mean.

[Unit1]

I am seeing not getting a girlfriend the same way as...

• Not getting a candy stick at the checkout as a toddler
• Not getting my first alcoholic beverage because I was legally underage
• Not getting a scholarship in the university because of reasons, so I have to pay out of my own pocket
• Not being able to afford food because I have (or had) very low money
• Not being able to afford an iPhone (not, that I want one. However I'd use another model if I could)
• Not getting a medical surgery because I can't pay the medical bills
• Not being able to afford a car
• Not being able to afford a relaxing vacation
• Not having (many) real world friends

And while I want these, I don't "need" most of those to survive. If I can't get it, I don't sweat it. Life goes on.

Similarly with girls. If it's not meant to be, then it's not meant to be. I stopped caring about not being wanted by the pinks.
I'll go about my life and enjoy it regardless.

[neilsmart]

Good for you. But if you were a tall, muscular guy with a strong jaw, a deep voice and long c**k, would you be saying that?

[Unit1]

@neilsmart All these features you mentioned I don't consider would up my chances with the pinks.
Therefore my answer is - For sure!

[neilsmart]

Well as a fully qualified pink, I can tell you that it would make a huge difference. We admire and respect guys with those traits

[Unit1]

@neilsmart Sure you do.

But I won't change for the pinks like you have described. I change for me.

[neilsmart]

It's just that most pinks have high standards and we only suck the c**ks of guys with those traits

[Unit1]

@neilsmart OK, you can come out now as a blue in disguise. I've seen that happening before.

[10-1-3-15-2]

That's what I'd say to

[neilsmart]

Not all guys are equal

[SomeGuyWithaQuestion]

This is my experience and I hope it helps some guys out there. Keep in mind, this comes from a guy who has been struggling in the past for years.

In my experience yes you need to improve yourself and be the best version of yourself you can be, you also need confidence or at least some kind of ''fuck it let's do it'' mindset.

But it's all about connections. You need a group of friends that likes to go out and meet people. You will build your social circle. It's best if your friends are a mix of guys and girls. It also helps if the majority are girls because you can potentially date these girls and if not, these girls will have female friends. A lot of the times these girls will be happy to help you find someone. Gay guy friends also can help a lot with finding girls to date, they always have lot's of information because girls are more comfortable telling gay guys secrets. Also gay guys are often not shy to let you know when you look good, this will give you random confidence boosts.

So to all the guys reading this, build connections. If you don't have a lot of friends to do this with you can also search for places where international students hang out, these students are always keen on making friends and meeting people and you can also date these students. I hope this helps somebody out there.

[hellacray]

Haha I actually can say I have no female friends. Everyone is more like an acquaintance than a friend.

I had the same idea too if I get more female friends maybe they can introduce me to someone. This always backfires for me.

They care more about themselves and would try to use me. Like in college they would try to get homework answers. Or get my textbook so they don't have to buy one.

And on top of that women wants to do crap I have no interest in. Like go out to clubs or music festivals. And all the women I met are into the same crap...

It's so much easier to make guy friends.

[SomeGuyWithaQuestion]

@hellacray you're right about mutual interests, but it's best to keep a open mind. Try to do stuff women like, maybe you find something new you enjoy doing and the best part about this is that women like it too.

For example, I never really liked dancing growing up. Then I watched magic Mike and I was thinking it would be cool to dance like that, then I started watching stuff on YouTube and I got into it more. At this point I would sometimes dance for fun when I was positive there was nobody around. Six months ago I went abroad to study and started living with a girl, we started talking and we both liked dancing then quarantine happened and we started to practice together for fun out of boredom. We both really enjoyed this. Because of this I have grown to like dancing and I'm even thinking of signing up for a dance class (where there are more women probably).

I had the same problem as you, I mostly had guy friends. For some reason I just started making female friends because two guy friends I had, now it's easier for me to do it myself. I think it helps if you train yourself to become friends with anyone.

The reason why those female friends use you is because you make it easy for them, say "no" more often and try to tease them a bit sometimes but not at the same time of course. You have to feel the moment. Also don't always be there for them, ghost them sometimes and say you were busy afterwards or that you didn't feel like talking. Try to make them respect you more, when they respect you more they won't try to take advantage and when they do call them out for it.

I hope this helped, to be honest it's hard and different for everyone. Just know you will have to struggle a lot to make progress, just don't give up and your time will come :)

[hellacray]

Lol you're saying it as if I'm a pushover. Just FYI if I feel like someone is using me I don't do it. So like when the girl asked me for answers and to get my book I said no.

Yeah... You know what I'm getting older so I don't really care as much compared to when I was younger.

I know my value and if women can't see it, then it's their lost not mine.

[SomeGuyWithaQuestion]

@hellacray Ah okay, that's good. But don't stop caring. If you don't make progress now it's only going to be harder when you get older.

If you continue to practice and struggle you slowly will make progress and then one day all the pieces will fall in place and you will be the most confident and charismatic guy around and the best thing is is that your confidence will be better than all the guys who had it easy all the time, because your confidence is earned.

Just don't have a end goal in mind, make tiny goals and it will be much more fun and relaxed and you will make much more progress then when you have these large goals. Just don't give up and try to have fun with it.

One day you will have a caring girlfriend who wants to make you happy and you will do the same for her because you love her.

But remember if you don't put in the work this will never happen!! So just do it, don't let your dreams be dreams

[hellacray]

Haha just wait til you get older.

You'll realize there's more important things to worry about.

So thanks but I think I'm good. I've got good friends and a decent job. I'm not gonna obsess over women.

Again when I was your age that's when I was thinking about it a lot.

[Anonymous]

This question bothers and irritates me a lot, this is why:

I know for a fact, that having feelings of resentment, bitterness, towards the opposite sex, is a thousand, million times worse in guys, men than it is in girls, women, and it's a reminder how a lot of people don't like to get into debates about who has it worse or harder in a certain area in life, which causes them to make disagreeing statements, which can get very infuriating, annoying, upsetting.

I know for a fact it's worse in men than in women. To be more specific, what I mean is, if a guy has this type of mindset or feelings towards women, it will come across in his interactions, women will unfortuneately sense it, they will sense the subtleness of it, even if the guy does his best to hide it, but if a woman has those same feelings or mindset towards guys, men, she will still have plenty of options with guys, men, she will still be able to get a boyfriend, a lot of men will overlook that. A portion of the male population will overlook that, they won't care about that.

However, if a guy is like that, pretty much his chances will be doomed from the start, it was because of this quote right here:

"If you’re angry, bitter and secretly hate women, don’t be surprised if you keep getting rejected. Women smell hidden agendas better than men ever could.”

both men and women can easily have feelings of resentment and bitterness towards the other sex, if women feel that way, its most likely due to having been cheated on too many times or guys being unfaithful to her, committment issues, for men, it can definetley be those reasons too as well, but for men, its more likely due to having been rejected, placed in the friend-zone, or led on too many times, or because they feel men have to do all or most of the work in dating/relationship, seduction and attraction process.

[6suejsjsj]

Yeah that's complete bullshit. You are object to the wonderful woman syndrome. Almost every women who calls themselves feminist has resentments towards men.
And no it doesn't matter at all what you think of women. Wtf, I guess no abusive relationships exist then.

Women are very easily fooled.

[Opinion Owner]

@6suejsjsj it just annoys me, how girls, women, can exhibit that type of behavior towards guys, men, but they will still have plenty of options

[ronaldo75]

What men need to start doing , and many of then are - is stop putting so much value on women and pussy. It's NOT worth making a fool of yourself and much like feminism told women - men can be 100% happy without a woman or living a life where you have sex here and there a few times a year. The thirst and desperation is what a lot of women thrive on but ironically also what will repel them from certain men. Stop putting pussy on a pedestal and you'll see your life get better immediately. I've seen it happen for dozens of guys.

[Yads_Is_Back]

Bravo ^
Stop with the desperation and if you wanna settle down with a woman who is worth your time and effort then go for it, that’s good, but don’t be desperate for it

[Slartybartfast]

Best not to bother with women and go on with your life.

Wasting your time debasing yourself for women, yeah I would have liked to have a family but women have made the rules unknowable and any action a man takes suspect to her random ruleset.

It's a strange game, the only winning move is not to play.

[Yads_Is_Back]

@Slartybartfast... Or to find a woman who doesn’t play games.
Trust me, both genders have it hard. It’s almost impossible for us to find a man who’s worth the effort too. But when the two find each other, it’s a miracle but it’s not an impossibility.

[Slartybartfast]

@Yads_Is_Back

Over my life I've gone from the naive teen wishing he had a girlfriend working hard on his future to the ignored young adult in the perpetual friendzone on a personal quest of self improvement, to the man who just wanted to be a father, to the why bother if I'm just getting used as an ATM and finally wind up actively avoiding women as a highly destructive force in my life.

[Yads_Is_Back]

@Slartybartfast So have a lot of people. That’s personal experience and what you base this point of view on, but it’s not a fact for everybody.

[ronaldo75]

@Yads_Is_Back You tend to be very balanced in your points of view that's great, it's rare in a lot of women these days - but the issue is that women have most of the power in dating and A LOT, not all, but a lot, don't know how to use it. I've seen women get treated like dogshit by two and three guys, she's sad, then she meets a good guy who treats her like a queen and she turns around and destroys the good guy and calls him weak. The good guy leaves her and now she says "men ain't shit". That type of nonsense is so common among women around me it's not funny.

As a guy it's REALLY hard to make a woman happy because a good man's instinct is just to do nice things for her and give her what he thinks she wants without a lot of drama. As I get older I'm literally SHOCKED by how many women are bored by this type of treatment. Like am I supposed to argue and bring drama to a woman every now and then to make her happy?

[Yads_Is_Back]

Honestly, you’re right, and this is where I think men could avoid a lot of problems they bring on themselves. Sometimes it’s good to say NO. If you’re always trying to make happy a woman who cannot be happy because she doesn’t want to be and doesn’t know what she wants, then 1) you’re wasting your time 2) you’re bound to get hurt by that ungrateful woman and 3) when you do get hurt, after making his mistake several times, you’re probably gonna have a bad view of women in your head that we are all so bad when you could’ve saved yourself from all of that and not blinded yourself by making those stupid decisions. And that goes for both genders.
You can’t keep trying to make miserable women happy and epically failing and then claim all women are so bad. It’s just the ones you picked who all have that in common, and that’s why you ended up miserable.
The same goes for us and men. That’s why I don’t put my effort into a relationship with any man who is good to me.
If you give a 2-year-old blind kid complete control of a plane, don’t complain that all pilots are bad or that the plane malfunctioned when you end up on the ground.

[Dargil]

If you do not like the game, don't play it. Really now. Is delivering your DNA in a warm, wet place worth all that expense, time and heartache? No, it is not. If you are looking for the mother of your children, The Dating Scene is not the place to find her. Look for her in church or other endeavors not centered around swapping body fluids. Make something matter and pursue that. Women worth their XX chromosomes will notice you and want to share your enthusiasm. No reason to be frustrated. Just get out of the dating game and do something worthwhile.

[Truthatanycost]

Unfortunately, the Church is no different. In fact, it might just be worse. The sickness of this culture extends to all areas of society.

[Dargil]

@Truthatanycost The church is not amorphous. It is easy to know which ones are corrupt.

[Lov2PlezUgurl]

WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I WAS YOUNGER you could have changed my whole life but NOoo you had to be born like 40 years later "I didn't check your age I'm just guessing" if you keep that you'll prevent guys from being like... lonely and stuff
From all the guys that you have helped and the guys your going to help

• THANK YOU VERY MUCH...

[JosyJosy]

Woah... Thank you. I really appreciate this, because the opinions are mixed. Mostly have to do with me being a girl :(

[Lov2PlezUgurl]

Well that's just stupid because a girl knows what she wants in a guy how she wants a guy to look, act and dress and if a guy has that information then he is james bond in other words he is a lady's man he can pick and choose who he wants to to take home and if any guy wants that you should listen to someone who knows what she wants,

[Jjpayne]

This was perfect! Thank you! It's not easy being the one that just gets spoon fed rejection... Even just going on a dating website sending messages to girls and getting nothing back it's frustrating... To have a girl that understands the difficulties of dating for guys is simply refreshing and thank you for that!

Just having this simple encouragement means a great deal!

[JosyJosy]

I'm glad you like it

[Jjpayne]

I really appreciate your thoughtfulness to do it!

[JosyJosy]

It was bad last week, like three people, started to annoy me ;)

[Jjpayne]

Well it actually came off as very helpful. It's funny how things are inspired sometimes 😂

[Samoht_Sirrom1]

Karma... Isn't real. I've known plenty of assholes that one their own house, have a car and a wide with kids. Personally I've let 6 people live with me rent free for 6 month providing their food as well without asking a single thing from any of them... Every last one of them thanked me said I was a "Great Friend" 0 of them talk to me now, because they have a family now. While they were homeless they were some of the nicest people you could hope to meet after they got lives suddenly you're nothing to them anymore. All were happy last time I talked to them.

[LThunder]

Let's not forget all the bad things that happen to good people all the time. Karma my ass!

[Samoht_Sirrom1]

Hear hear... Like woman or children being sexually assaulted... Unless you're trying to say children (which the Bible states is free of all sin) have gained enough bad Karma that they deserve being treated that way?

[blank_expression]

Hahaha Some of the women that hit on me could use this advice. lol They are about as smooth and subtle as a train wreck. While I work out and stay at 7-8% bodyfat for myself only, if it took all that you mention just for some squeeze, I wouldn’t bother. I don’t need to be perfect that is for sure nor do I try. It must be that big dick attitude and the hardware to back it up. lol The thing your take forgot was have a career that puts you out there and have several job offers pending always because you are in demand. That will override it all; that attracts em like flies on shit. I am the shit by the way. lmao

[JosyJosy]

yaa the career thing is pretty much part of improving yourself ^^

[Don-_-Don]

This is something that guys should've all known from the start.

Men should work on themselves to be better everyday, as should ANY human being do.

As you've said, everyone is dealt with a different hand of cards, it's up to YOU to make the best of your use with them.

Being frustrated and being bitter does nothing, I'm sure the world could care less about one having such negative emotions.

We all have to give it our %110 percent before we even THINK about bitching and moaning about not having a girlfriend.

If we're truly worth it, then the results with show for themselves.

[hellacray]

Haha so basically dress nice, be confident, and workout. It's nice you tried to fluff it up, but this is obvious.

I know guys that do all this and are still single. On top of that they have good jobs and are financially stable even during the pandemic.

I'm not sure what you picture in your mind when you're thinking about men unsuccessful in dating.

But based on what you described men that are unsuccessful in dating probably dresses like crap, have no confidence, and is out of shape.

Well that's fine it's your opinion.

[Yads_Is_Back]

I think the part that is implied (maybe not so much?) that you missed is that complaining is another thing that will contribute to being unsuccessful in this - a. k. a. failure.

[Boogie_01]

@Yads_Is_Back oh just shit the fuck up

[Yads_Is_Back]

@Boogie_01 Thank you for proving my point

[Anonymous]

One problem is that people don't extend this mindset to other aspects of society.

Tell an African American they need to work harder blah blah blah and people come at you like a World War Z horde. Say men earn more money and that there's nothing wrong with that and the banshee screeches deafen the land. But then incels teetering on the brink of suicide? Fuck 'em. Ample shaming and condemnation ensues.

Yes, hard work and all that. But you're not playing the same game, so is it comparable?
At what point is asking that of them unjust or unreasonable? "Keep trying" sounds nice and all, particularly to people who naturally find themselves succeeding in this respect. But it serves as a tool to kick the can down the road instead of confronting people who tried and failed. It's easy to say keep trying, when you keep succeeding, but how long until you consider that something may be wrong in the world?