Are there any men that exist who want to in a committed relationship? I think not!

[Leah1829]

I am fed up at this point with "men", everytime I meet someone that I think potential to be in a relationship with does not want to commit. I don't understand, why date if you don't want a SO. I am so over getting my heartbroken every couple of months, I am over it! It's really same story everytime around the one month mark: " I think you're a great and nice girl, but I'm just not ready for a relationship". And these trash men have the audacity to ask to just be friends after that, no! That's not how works! I'd you want to be around me then commit.

At this point I've given up, and I'll just have accept dying alone, and ne er getting the family or husband that I know I deserve because men like that just don't exist, and the thing that gets me is the people that say, "you'll find something eventually". WHEN IS THAT EXACTLY, when I'm old, dusty, and crusty, when I'm past my prime? No thank you! I truly think feminism ruined dating for girls like me who want a genuine connection and to build something with someone, to feel pursued. Dating sucks and don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise.

[Staximus]

Maybe you don't know how to pick good guys. Re-evaluate the way you select them. You're getting attached to these guys too quickly. That might scare them off. Don't start falling for a guy until you know he cares as much about you as you do about him. Read that last sentence 10 more times. You're confusing infatuation with love. You're not in love with a guy after one month, you're just infatuated. You don't even know him enough to be in love after just one month. They obviously don't. You are prematurely falling in love with and attaching yourself to these guys that don't love you yet. You might be what they call a stage 5 clinger. That's ok to be a stage 5 clinger, but not every guy is ready for that in one month. Young guys aren't ready for marriage after one month. Maybe 2 years. Maybe you should start looking for guys that are ready to settle down, a few years older than you. Not some guy that just got out of college, still goes out and parties all the time and shit like that. Those guys are not looking for marriage. It's not 1955 anymore where everybody gets married and has kids in their late teens and early 20's.

[Guy13]

C'mon now.. don't be so dramatic-I realize you are a woman... but we can still be friends and HangOut 2-3 times a month. I think we will be better as FriendZ

[mstbooblover]

Point taken girl. Indeed a very good question concerning a millennia old problem. As a man though, and in any case, I first of all want to know better a partner before engaging into a more serious committed relationship and create a family. It's not a decision one should take lightly, and yes, most guys are at first afraid of engaging, and keep in mind girls are not innocent either...

Actually, there are many more men wanting what you expect of them, but then in half the countries all over the world, there's the problem and customs of the women's status versus men's status. No problem for guys not being virgin anymore, but why then ask girls to still be virgins before marriage? Guys fucking every available girl is socially accepted, but girls behaving the same way are called whores or sluts and avoided for marriage. It's just unrighteous. And still, all over the world, in every country, whatever the traditions, there are sometimes (?) happy families...

I don't know how all the involved problems should be dealt with, but being at the same time cautious and open minded may help. I can only advice you to be patient and wish you good luck.

[GoPhuckYaself]

We don't have to date and stay and make a commitment to one girl... Human freedom Hun.. you can't make us get a girlfriend, we have that choice... If we want to jus have one night flings and fuckbiddies it is our human rights... In sorry you want what you can't have. Guys who want a relationship (lol). Most men jus aren't that way. We aren't living in the 18 hundreds anymore and pretending to be loyal.. were exposing our true colours the way men really are.. what you gonna do?
You can't decide nature and make men a certain way and make them wanna be loyal. The same way I can't make girls stop being bitches... This is jus our nature, take it or leave it. Or leave us alone and forget about us,
If y'all bitches didn't want one night flings too y'all wouldn't be doing it with us anyway so it's only you're fault if you got your little feelings hurt... No one said that jus cos we did it were now boyfriend and girlfriend, jus enjoy your little one night flings and stop developing feelings. Guys aren't that way and you can't make us be.. or else I should be able to change the nature of all girls and be able to make them all nice people instead of bitches.. but you know it doesn't work like that.. they have freedom of human rights to be the way how they want, and so do we,

So deal with it

[GoPhuckYaself]

Obviously not every guy is like that anyway so what the fuck is you complaining about?
Sure most guys jus want sex but there's still a small handful of guys who wants relationship.. mainly the older guys

[Anonymous]

There are several things going on here. First, guys your age are driven by sexual desire. It's just how we are wired. In the past, men knew they had to be in a committed relationship to get sex regularly, so a relationship was always the goal. That is no longer the case because casual sex has become the norm and a committed relationship is no longer a requirement to satisfy that need.

Secondly, marriage and committed relationships are not al all what they used to be. For today's men, they are far more risky and costly and the benefits are fewer and less rewarding for men. As a result, marriage is no longer the goal for many/most men. Men have begun to realize that the message that men are the ones who benefit most from marriage is a lie.

Finally, having kids is not as appealing for men as it used to be because we know we have no rights in the matter. Women/mothers have all the rights and when a marriage goes bad, as they so often do (half of marriages end in divorce and women file 70% of them) men get screwed out of their parental rights yet still have to pay.

Women have always been the gatekeepers to sex and men the gatekeepers to relationships. Women are losing that battle today and until relationships become more appealing to men again, that trend is going to continue.

[Anonymous]

On dating apps, I won't bother with those looking for less than a committed relationship, and do you know what that gets me? Nothing. Ignored. Swiped left.

I know it's not me, it's them. I'm polite, cordial, don't bring up sex in the first 5 minutes etc. Know what that gets me?
Nothing. Ignored. Swiped left.

What I DO get are indecent proposals from airheaded bimbos, offers for NSA and friends with benefits from whores and sluts, links galore to porn and come see my nude pic site requests.

What I DO get is passed over by shallow, materialistic, prudes. Can't reply even though I've seen them online 17 times since I messaged. My message is nice, and I'm not the type to send a profane, degrading reply to a polite no thank you, but I can't even get that.

We're out here, but women don't want us. They want money, and things, and to go out on my dime. First date is the last date, as long as they get treated for the night, then they have no use for a man. They're just as bad as men wanting sex on the first date. At least most guys are honest about that, as disgusting as it may be. Women, nah. They'll sit there straight faced, laugh with you, touch you and milk you for the date then ghost you, or say I'm not feeling it. They got what they wanted and it didn't cost them a darned thing. They're proud and do it again to some other schlep who just wants a connection.

How do you discuss a connection or a commitment when you receive what I do?

Trust me, I'm tired too.

[MCheetah]

Those men exist EVERYWHERE! The problem is, they're too short, too unattractive, or too broke for you to notice or desire them. You only date Chads and then get upset when they don't want to settle down at age 23. Are you kidding me? What makes you think you "deserve" to be waited on, hand and foot? Just because you have a vagina? What exactly do you bring to the table?

Like I said though, plenty of men want to commit. Many of them are even saving their virginity until marriage. They just aren't the men you'd deem "acceptable" in your eyes because they aren't Chads.

You are right, though. Feminism HAS ruined much of dating, for men and women. But women's entitled arrogant attitudes and simp men, have ruined things almost equally as much.

[Leah1829]

I don't date anyone taller than 5'10, I give guys that ate like a 6 a chance, and I've dated guys who made less than me. The point is no matter if I get a "Chad" or give someone who I'm not as attracted to a chance, they all want the same thing, sex and that's it.

[MCheetah]

I'm saying, most of the men who "only want sex" are the super-attractive guys, because they know they can get sex a lot easier than most. And implying you'd date men as "ugly" as a 6, doesn't help your case, either. The most committed guys aren't going to be the super-attractive top 5% you (and most women) only gravitate towards.

[Leah1829]

That's why I'm saying I try to give guys that I don't find super attractive a chance, but for what I'm the one that ends up getting hurt everytime

[capman70]

FACT CHECKMATE !!!

[capman70]

I'd point out it's shallow to judge others by scale ratings.
what counts is Genuine personality & positive attitude so basically anything less is just superficial waste of my valuable Time & energy.

[Truthatanycost]

A lot of men like that have simply walked away. I did the same, but have noticed talk of many others. Zero point committing to anyone that has wasted their best years sleeping around and then after a high body count, deciding they want to settle down with a good guy. So what happens is you are often left with the guys that don't care about this because they are only looking for something casual or fun. But they will tell you what you want to hear in order to get what they want.

Remember the 'empowerment' movement? all of the disregard for the depth of sex? this is the result...

It's also possible that the guys that want commitment are the ones you find boring or unattractive. In any case, society reaps what was sown, it just takes a very long time and happens quietly.

[omgitskris]

Being in a committed relationship takes time. The dating game has changed BIG TIME. Especially with apps where you can swipe away and find someone you're attracted to based solely on looks. The guy might have read the bio... if she even has one. I think in today's society things are quite... different. There are so many different options a guy has and on top of that, if they have been hurt before.. guard your heart lol because they need time to heal lol. The right person will come along. Not all guys are h*es. When you find the right guy, you will be like omg where have you been lol

[BrunetteRosy]

I've seen many guys who wanted a committed relationship. I've dated some of them and been friends with others. I've also been with guys who've messed me about and kept changing their minds on what they wanted, and nearly dated guys who were not interested in a relationship.

My current partner knows he wants to marry me, but neither of us are quite ready to make that step (we've only been dating a year and a half, financially we aren't ready and we are not in that point in our lives yet where that is a priority).

Often times it may be how your discussing your future and your current relationship that may be "scaring them off"? Or they don't want to give you the wrong idea? Or they need a bit more time to reach the same level as you. Or you might just be really unlucky!!!

[DarkLordNoodlez]

First of all, young people in general don't want to commit. That's just a fact and one that makes sense. No one who's 20 years old, wants to say "yep this is my forever girl/guy". Because that's a long time to be together and not a long time for you to have grown into your own person. When your 20 you're still not mature enough to say who you truly are. That's something that comes later in life. Second of all, you said "I am so over getting my heartbroken every couple of months, I am over it!", this implies your apparently "falling in love" with people after a couple of months. Which is YOUR problem, not theirs. People need more time to make such life changing decisions.

[Aerissa_Jade]

It sure has seemed that way, but there are those out there who want to commit. I am in a committed relationship right now, been dating since October so we are past the one month mark of dating, still got time before the official together one month mark though.

I know what you mean though, they just want to date. Hoping to get some and if they don't they then just want to be friends. In my case I tend to stay friends with them, not best friends but chat, talk or occasionally hang out. Sometimes I've met some of their friends and dated them and it has worked out for awhile.

[Mk32123]

I feel ya!!! Been on first dates with 8 different men in 2021 and every single one of them was a massive fail. Furthest I’ve gotten is 4 dates in. It’s safe to say my self esteem and confidence is at an all time low. People like to tell me I’m gorgeous, great personality and that the right person will come along “soon”. Everyone around me seems to be getting on great but not me. Starting to think I’ve been hexed. I’m taking a break from dating until 2023 as I now need to rebuild my confidence. Hope you get what you’re looking for this year x

[Vegasrunner]

Judging by this post I'm guessing you're early 20's. You're overreacting a bit, (which is probably one of the turns to guys) You'll find someone, but like most people you will have to settle. Girls dont really understand that they all are competing for the same 5% of guys. So while you're thinking that a guy wants to commit the reality is men are only as faithful as their options and their clocks are a lot longer than women. Honestly, I don't think any guy in his 20's or even early 30's should he tieing himself down w/ one woman

[ArchivalMars2]

Ok first of all if you keep that attitude I promise no guy is going to want to be with you. And I can tell you right now that there are a number of guys who want a committed relationship but you won't meet them if you keep acting so bitter and angry. No guy wants to be with a girl that makes him feel like shit.

[Juxtapose]

I feel you, I was just dumped recently by a girlfriend of 6 months because she just would not communicate with me.

I try my fucking ass off to make relationships last, I give too much of myself actually and it is never enough. All those sweet words and promises? Those are all gone after a few months, even though my behavior does not change throughout the relationship.

It is to the point where I don't think a woman can meaningfully commit to me because I just have not seen it yet. I know how you feel, I know your pain but it is not because of men or women. Life just sucks and people can suck a lot. I hope you have better luck finding somebody than I have.

[jirwin7979]

i gave up along time ago due to being judged and being rejected for being to nice to loving and to emotional yes im a guy but guys are not robots we have feelings also and we get them shut down when we try to express em this world has showen me the good and bad in the human race but there are some of us guys that never get the "one" we are gonna be with for life cheating and heart brake is all i have exp this far i know not all women are the your a man suck it up type there are guys like that to if i am with a women for life then she has to be the one i can cry with and be my self with not what people want me to be i am my own uniqe person

[Kriss46]

Iv only had a single female friend a decade ago, iv never dated cuz i don't see whats the point in that, same with dating apps, iv never used those cuz getting rejected has almost no penalty and no effort is put anyways.


Id rather just be friends with a girl and keep it like that for a few years before asking the love question. That way you now the person really well as they you, you spend time with them too.


The bigger the friendship the bigger relationship potential id say.


honestly, id rather die virgin rather then have even just one ex.

[GreenLanternI0I]

Man, not boys ( 20, 30, 40 or even 50 year old boys) MEN, they want a lot of sex whenever they want it and they want children. If you can come to terms with those two things, you can and you WILL find a husband that will love you and be with you and yours kids for the rest of your life.

[Avicenna]

Well, TBH, something is wrong if a woman your age isn't getting approached by guys, but it's good that you know what you want and that you want a genuine relationship.

Meeting someone can be very random, and there are lots of guys out there that also want a relationship.

[Phoenix98]

That's bullshit lots of guys want long-term relationships. I can't even tell you how many guys I've seen who are looking for that.

The issue is the type of men your trying to get with or your not seeing the ones who can give you what you want or it's just simply on you for not making what you want from the guy known at the start.